Saturday, November 15, 2014

One....or two?

Being a parent is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. I think I can also speak for my husband, and pretty much any other parent out there. However, as everyone says, it has also been the most rewarding thing I have ever done (now that we're out of that pesky newborn stage). I love being a mama to Adly and I love her being the center of our world.

When Adam and I got married, we came into our marriage both wanting two children. Back when we were young and foolish, we thought it would be fantastic to have twins on the first go around to get it done in one fell swoop. Having been through the hell that was infancy and post-partum for me, I now bow down to mommies of multiples. I can't imagine having two or more at the same time. Since having a child pop into our married life immediately, I've spent the better part of the last two years together re-thinking my original thought that two kids are better than one.

As a mom of one, my mind has regularly swirled with thoughts such as:

Maybe I was only meant to have one. I don't think I'm cut out for two kids. Can I really do this again? What if I can't stand the newborn phase again? Will Adly think I love her less? How can I possibly love another child as much as I love my one and only? What if another effects our marriage? I can't have only one. I want more than one. No, I don't. Only one. 

So many parents cycle through these totally rational questions before deciding to go ahead with another, this I know. And there's definitely comfort in that. For me though, it's definitely been a lingering, nagging string of thoughts. It has been something Adam and I have bounced back and forth on multiple occasions through many deep, adult conversations. Its funny how realistic these conversations are now that we know. We are fully, cognitively aware of the hell we will be putting ourselves through this time. Maybe that knowledge will help us when we're knee deep in burp clothes, spit-up, and no sleep again....all with a toddler running around? Hah!

On the other side of the coin, there are a lot of other thoughts that swirl through my head (it's very busy in there). Now that we're veterans of infancy, we know how much love there is to be had. We know that through the struggles, there will be one snuggly little baby to give us endless hugs. There's also the thought of never being pregnant again that nags at me. And I see Adly, playing with her baby, and think how good of an older sister she would be. 

Then there's the layer of fear that comes along with a second go around of creating a baby. I have many friends that have struggled with infertility, getting pregnant, and miscarriages. We were very lucky to get pregnant with Adly with ease and have no problems during pregnancy. We also didn't find out until the end of the first trimester. Surprise! However, that allowed me to skip the uneasy weeks of the touchy first trimester where you just don't know. I bled a lot during that time (which is how I didn't know I was pregnant. That, and I'm an idiot). What if that happens again, but this time I know? How will I handle those ups and downs? I fear something will go wrong. I fear we actually won't be able to get pregnant this time. I worry about how I'd handle any of those situations.   

In all honesty, up until a few weeks ago, I don't think we would have ever made an actual decision to have another one or not to. Sure, we have set a "trying time", but in order to make it difficult to happen I had put a lot of caveats into our plan to "try". I'm pretty sure I would have found excuse after excuse to not try once the time came. I think it would've had to have happened by accident again to force me into the scary world of pregnancy and newborn-hood again. Instead, someone recently said something to me that struck a chord with me and has helped me to change my outlook and my mind.

It was the usual conversation that's been coming at me more and more these days.

"How's Adly? She's so big now! So, when are you having another?! It's about that time, isn't it?"

You wouldn't believe how often these conversations come about one your child turns one. When inside I'm all like, "Come on! My body just got back to normal! Mama needs a break!" Instead, I kept those thoughts to myself and answered like I usually do. 

"To be honest, I don't know if we will. I can't imagine doing it all over again. I just don't know when I'll really be ready."

In response, this person stated, quite frankly, that I'm never going to be "ready". She wisely stated that no sane person sits down and says, "Why yes. I do want to put myself through all of that craziness and misery again. Why not!? I LOVED not getting to sleep for months on end. It was so fun the first time!" Instead, they think deep inside within themselves and ask if having more is something they truly want. If it is, then the rest will fall into place as it comes and you eventually adjust to another "new normal".

Deep down inside, I know I want more than one child. But having so many fears and unsure thoughts has taken a hold of making a decision to make that step. It wasn't until I thought about it in that way that I knew. I knew we'd have another some day. **As I type this, I'm enjoying a huge glass of red wine, so I am absolutely not pregnant, people.** However, I am finding myself sitting with comfort in the fact that a decision has been made, and it's one we both feel good about. Will it be easy? No way. But parenting is never easy. Will there be a lot more love to go around? Absolutely yes. So now I'm taking on the outlook that if we are lucky enough to be blessed by another little one in our family, I'm more than happy to take on that role.

Some day down the road of course.


Don't worry mom. We got this. 

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

16 Months



As time is flying by, Adly is also quickly growing into a big girl by the day. It is crazy to see her changing as she gets bigger and bigger. At her 15 month appointment, Adly measured in at 25 pounds and 32 inches long. She's blown through her 18 month old clothes and is now wearing mostly 2T. 2T! What?! My baby is my baby no more.

Speaking of baby, this month's biggest phase has been a spurt in the development of imaginative play. A while back, our pediatrician had recommended getting Adly a "baby" doll. I didn't think much of it until one day, out of desperation, I picked one up to help avert her from hitting mommy. I used baby to show her how to be gentle and not hit. That worked like a charm and baby has now evolved into her own "baby". She mimics the things I do with her, laying baby down and putting a blankie on baby saying "nye nye". She also feeds baby pretend food and today gave baby "medicine". (The medicine was her putting the nasal spray up to the baby's nose like she's been getting during this recent cold).

Cooking has also been a big part of her imaginative play. After purchasing some cooking supplies from the dollar store, she is loving to "cook" and tell us what she's cooking for us. This has also carried over into her meals. She loves naming all of the food items she's eating before she eats it. Our meals usually consist of saying "milk" (drinks milk), "fishies" (eats a bite of fish), "peeeeas" (eats a pea), "apple" (eats pear). You get the point. It's amusing to see her list and name the things she's intaking.

At 16 months Adly has also really become mama's little mini me. She is more interested than ever in what mama is doing at all times of the day. She follows around behind me wherever I go in the house, always clinging or sticking close to my legs. As I get ready in the morning she stands and looks through my closet, sighing and repeating what I say. I've learned I say "ummmm!" and "hmm, let's see" quite a bit, as that is what I keep hearing from my shadow! Despite the fact I've tripped over the little human nipping at my heels many times lately, I have to admit it is something amazing to have your little one be so interested in what you are doing all day.

A few weeks ago, we got the cutest "ooooh man!" from Adly when the three of us were pretending to put baby to bed together. During this session of play, Adly suddenly stood up, leaned up against our bed and then dropped herself slowly to the ground sighing and saying "ohhh, man!" like she was beyond exhausted from a hard days' work. It was the cutest thing she's done to date and of course, she hasn't done it since.

Lastly, this month can't go by without mention of Adly's first Halloween and the most perfect costume ever. Our cow-obsessed child got to become one with the cow this year. She mooed her little heart out (when she felt like it of course) and owned that cow costume. We went to multiple Halloween events so she got to wear the costume over and over again, which still wasn't enough for this cow. No, the cow has even made a few more post-Halloween appearances because, who ever said you need a holiday to dress as a cow?

Playing in the leaves. 
I'll only wear hair pretties for aunt Ra-Ra!
 Going for a "alk" with mama!
I'm a cow!

Pals, 15 months strong. 

PNO: Parents Night Out!
Modeling with mama's scarf. 
Bundled up for walks in the cold. 

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Fall Picture Day!

We were lucky enough to get one last blast of warm weather this fall, so Adly and I capitalized on it and spent a morning this weekend frolicking in the park. Just kidding, but doesn't that sound amazing and so picture perfect? In reality, toddlers do anything but frolick, especially when it's what you want them to do.

Thankfully my little miss independent was feeling a little flexible with me this particular morning. She allowed me to snap a few sitting pics, although mini-smiles came at a hefty cost of some serious monkey "hoo-haa-haa-ing" and jumping around, and talking like a raging idiot. You're welcome for the visual.

We even had a very nice lady come along and snap a picture of the two of us, as she saw me holding my child in one arm (who was refusing to touch the ground) and awkwardly trying to set up the auto timer in the other.

Hard to believe one short year ago, our little pumpkin was small enough to be shoved inside a big empty gourd.

Happy fall!













My last attempt at the "frolicking". This was her frolicking right back to me after I put her down.

Monday, October 13, 2014

That time I reupholstered a chair.

So, do you ever have those moments when you think of a project and you're all like, "Pssshhhh. Oh yeah...I could totally do that myself. No prob." And then you go and get everything to do said project and then you step back and think again and you're like, "Oh s$*t. I don't know what I'm doing." But then you're too stubborn to admit you're a dumbass for thinking you could ever do a project that big and so you keep moving forward anyways?

I sure hope I'm not the only one out there. 

Anyways, that was how I found myself four months ago, sitting in front of a chair my husband has had for years and always wanted to recover. It was a week before Father's Day and I had the best surprise ever! I was going to reupholster his chair. A gift! Such a thoughtful gift at that. He'd never guess it, and would be over the moon when he saw his fancy new chair.

Two days later, as I found myself starting to dig my way through the project and in the middle of re-upholstering hell, I had to tell him about my project, because, well, who seriously thinks they can recover a chair in a few days?!?!

I did.

So when I told him he was all super excited and thought it would be awesome and I was sitting there kicking myself in the face for stupidly thinking I could actually do something like this when I had never done anything remotely close to dealing with fabric.

Then Father's Day came and went. Then summer came and went. Then I went back to work. The fall came. Then came Adam's birthday. Finally, our two year anniversary was approaching and I just knew I had to finally complete this project. So I set to it.

And would you believe...I actually finished it! Well, almost. I still have to sew the cushion cover and I'm waiting on a sewing machine to do that. But I have a feeling that will be peanuts compared to the staple-gunning, hand sewing, staple pulling, plier pulling hell I've subjected myself to over the last four months.

So after all that, if you think this is something you want to try your hand at, don't say I didn't warn you. It takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of trying, redoing, trying, sometimes redoing again and again. And the staples....the staples never end! But when all is said and done, I'd say it was worth it. Here's how I did it, in all the pics I could manage to take in between swear words and pained fingertips.

And I have to say, it turned out pretty awesome! So, hey. Yeah, now I'm totally a chair reupholsterer.
The chair. Before.
 Just the beginning. When I was young and naive. 
You need pliers, a flathead screwdriver, a bucket for the discarded staples and whole lot of patience. 
Starting at the bottom of the chair, peel away, layer by layer. Like an onion. 
This is back when I thought there were SO many staples. There were thousands more to go. 
Peeling away the back. 
These metal teeth were frightening to put back on. But they work so well, after they tore up my fingers. 

Once all of the fabric is off, lay the pieces out over the new fabric to cut. 

Use only fabric scissors! Adam's aunt KK got me these to help me out. For a wingback chair, I used 5 yards of fabric. If I had to do it again, I'd cut with a little extra room on the new fabric. Some pieces were pretty tight putting back on. 

Once all of the fabric is off, have a drink (or ten) and begin stapling on the new fabric piece by piece.
You will also need some random fabric to put underneath the cushion area. I didn't forsee this, so I used a piece of fabric I had laying around, hence the clashing green fabric. 


Admiring the piping. 

Ahh, the wingbacks. These were the biggest bitches of all, if you ask me. I swear I stapled, pulled, swore, stapled and hammered the damn things together at minimum eight times. Now, this might be my own fault from not following directions and/or waiting three months before putting them back together, but thats besides the point. By the final time I did it, I had them down and thankfully, I'm quite happy with them.

Before I did the backside, I learned from the wingback debacle and only had to redo it three times.

The (almost) finished project. 

While there are certainly little things I can see that still need fixing, I don't think a blind eye would notice most of them. In the end, I'm quite proud of the project and am happy I stuck with it. Who knew? I know how to work a chair. 

Saturday, October 11, 2014

15 months

Holy moly we've made it to 15 months already. I know I always say this, but seriously, where does the time go?!

Adly is growing and changing every day. I had considered stopping the monthly updates now that she's a BIG GIRL and a toddler and all, but I just don't want to forget what happens in each crazy month, because it is so much


-Adly's vocabulary continues to astound me. I don't know how or why, but she is such a verbal child. These days she can use words to describe pretty much anything she sees, wants, or needs. It's incredible to me to realize we are having real conversations and she understands exactly what I'm saying to her. I see light bulbs go off in my students every day as they learn the power of reading or something new. It's my absolute favorite part of my job. To see it happening in my daughter is beyond amazing. She seems to soak in everything we say or teach her and hangs on to it. Currently, she's obsessed with touching and saying facial body parts (eyes, nose, chin, cheeks, ears, hair) and saying animal names (piggy, horsey, cow, kitty, chicken--kickin). 

-She's a total mama's mini-me and copies pretty much anything I do. This is not always awesome. I am so not ready to have to censor myself at home too! She looooves cooking with mama and wants to be held the whole time to help stir and mix. I'm happy she loves this, but she's so heavy now! We're currently shopping around for a toddle baby carrier to help hold her while I cook.  

-The tantrums have begun and I'm sure it's just the beginning. I'm not going to lie, I had hoped Adly being so verbal would help us avoid the whole tantrum-y phase for the next 3 years. (And then every veteran parent laughed hysterically at my naivety). However that's clearly not going to be the case. Excuse me while I buckle up for this next parenting rollercoaster ride. 

-Our once stumble-y walker/crawler is now a full-blown walker who rarely crawls anymore. Her two little legs are getting stronger and more confident by the day, and are her first choice when it comes to getting around. She also loves crawling all the way up the stairs by herself in our apartment building. 

-At 15 months, Adly also loves to sing and dance. These days, she helps mama sing "happy" in You Are My Sunshine and "up above" in Twinkle, Twinkle. One time I got her to "sing" all of You Are My Sunshine (in her adorable mumbly jumbly words of course) and it was the cutest freaking thing I've ever heard from her. Of course she's never done it since so I haven't recorded it, but it brought tears to my eyes. Thankfully, I was able to capture this beauty. She's got moves like mama, that's for sure! 


-This has also been a rough month emotionally. Adly has definitely had a lot more tears, frustrations, and just overall fussiness. I have to think a lot of it is from the teething, as teeth are plowing through on a consistent basis now. There have definitely been a whole lot more mama and dada snuggles to help with the emotionally charged moments from our little sweet pea. 

-Finally, the hair. It's growing so fast and right now there's a whole lot of party going on in the back. I've even taught her to say "mullet" because, my god, that is one amazing mullet. Of course, we are not even close to the first haircut, however I am excited for the business in the front to start catching up, growth-wise. 

This month, I got my first "baby"!
Goofing around with CoCo. 
Snuggle time. 
Nap time with dada after a rough morning. 

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Cow Girl

A few weekends ago, my dad (PaPa) and Anita (TaTa) came in for a visit to see Adly. (We don't bother pretending that people come to actually visit Adam or I these days). 

In the last few months, my child has become cow obsessed. The girl just loves cows. What is it about them? It started with a visit to my aunts family farm, where she got up close and personal with cows. One even licked her. The girl asks to watch that video any time she sees my phone. It used to be by request of "moo, moo, moo!" Now it's "cooo-w, cooo-w, cooo-w!"

When papa came down this weekend, of course he came fully stocked with cow toys. One being a small figurine of a cow. Guess who hasn't put the cow down since? 

On Saturday, we decided to go visit Adly's favorite suburban getaway, a family farm. Shocking, I know. My intended city girl is definitely a country girl at heart. There we could look at the cows, see horsies, piggies, and roosters (which, oddly enough, Adly is terrified of). They also had ginormous pumpkins and a farmers market. It was beautiful weather, making for the perfect fall Saturday.

Here is my little pumpkin, standing on her own, talking to the horsies and hanging with Papa and Tata. Fall is officially here!



Wait...didn't I get put in one of these things last year?!





Just a girl, checking out some horsies.
Papa had to stop in the gift shop.
Rehydrating after a day at the farm.

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