3 Months...

As Adly turns 3 months old, I'm noticing a lot of changes. This has me really excited for what's ahead in the next month. 

-She is discovering the sense of touch. This is a really neat progression to watch. I notice her touching everything on me, my shoulder, tank top straps, my nose, my mouth, and then her blankets and clothes...anything that is up close to her. She feels it or holds on to it, sometimes staring at her hands as she does so. It's almost as though you can see the connections happening in her brain that what her hand is touching is what she feels. 

-Her hands are getting stronger at grabbing objects. She is particularly interested in a light up rattle at this point. She can hold on to the rattle, shake it around a bit, and just the other day she put it in her mouth. Funny, soon enough I'm sure I'm going to be freaking out over her putting everything in her mouth. But to see it happen for the first time with an object was so cool!

-As we work hard on tummy time, she's able to push herself across her play gym mat when I put my hands under her feet to give her something to push off of. It's incredible to see the amount of effort and strength it takes for a baby to move themselves. She still doesn't love being on her tummy, but seems to be learning to deal with it for short periods of time. 

-She coo's and talks all the time. In the last week she's begun making sounds starting with "g-g-g". Maybe the start of some "goo-goo, ga-ga"? 

-She continues to sleep through the night, although this relies heavily on her napping properly during the day. Not enough naps=overtired baby who wakes up every hour at night. Speaking of naps, right now she's taking four 1-hour naps a day. I haven't figured out how to move those to two longer naps a day. I'm open to suggestions!

-The battle of the swaddle continues on. I'm not sure how to deal with the fact that she wants to suck her thumb at night. Usually this results in her arms getting loose and then her being kept up all night. However last night, after I was awakened at 2:30am, I went in and let her arm loose so she could suck her thumb. She calmed herself down right after and slept through the rest of the night. The rigid me is scared of the upcoming change of letting the swaddle go (nooo! I just caught up on all the sleep I was missing!). But the rational me can see that the swaddle just isn't going to last much longer. Fingers crossed for us!

-She is now a full blown thumb sucker. I'm actually relieved to have this finally happen as she is learning to use it as a self-soothing tool. For so long when she was upset she'd attempt to find her thumb by shoving her whole fist in her mouth. That just ended up upsetting her even more and would sometimes make her gag. Now she's usually able to find her little thumb and get it into her mouth in order to calm down.

-Her smiles continue to flow and make me giggle like a child every time. She is so happy at times. Every so often she'll smile so hard she attempts to giggle, but hasn't quite gotten there yet. 

Visiting a New Mama

Before I get into this, I have to add a disclaimer. The idea for this post didn't come from my amazing mind spaces. I actually saw a post similar to this recently and it made me think over my own experience. Of course, everyone's experience with the people in their life is different, so I wanted to add my own two cents to the party.

I was one of the very first of many of my friends and to have a baby. Let me tell you, baby world is uncharted for not only myself, but many people in my life. After reading the aforementioned article, I have to say I think I am unbelievably blessed with amazing friends and family. I was extremely lucky when it came to visitors, what they brought, and what they did.

Here's my advice, now that I've been there, done that in entering the jungle of mommyhood. One more disclaimer, I'm a dumb-dumb when it comes to this stuff, so I'm not afraid to admit I've NOT done many of these things when visiting friends prior to having my own. My apologies in advance and thanks for still being friends with me. Don't feel as if you have to do all of these things, but you should try to do at least one as you make your way over to visit the new earthling. 

-Bring Food. Seriously. Any type of food. A snack, a homemade meal, something you just picked up. It doesn't matter. As an avid cook myself, I prepared many freezer meals in advance to feed our family after baby. Unfortunately, once baby was here, even the thought of boiling water on the stove became overwhelming. Even when a new mom says, "no, no don't bring food." You need to immediately shut them down and insist on bringing food. I'm telling you, it will save their day and in all likelihood it's the only thing they'll eat that day. I had countless visitors bring over food and I always felt awkward about it. I'm an adult, I can buy my own lunch/dinner! But as soon as they arrived, I was able to hand Adly over and actually eat a meal...usually for the first time that day. I think, above all other things you can do, this packs the biggest punch. 

-Cut the Chat, Help them Out. I was terrible about this--and this was all my fault. Whenever friends came over, I was dying to catch up with them and hear about anything that was going on outside of babyland. So most often, I would sit my friends down and accost them for information about their lives. This is fine and dandy. But what I didn't realize until weeks down the road was I had chatted away precious time I could've used to throw Adly in their arms and shower, clean, do laundry, grocery shop, brush my teeth, pee...you name it. Now when I visit a new mommy, I'll insist they at least get up and brush their teeth while I get to gobble baby up all by myself. I'm pretty sure most people would jump at the chance to be able to hog baby all to themselves without the new mom hovering over them like a hawk. (Noooo, I never did that!!)

-Offer to Watch Baby. Again, we scored big time in the friend/family department. I can't even count how many people have willingly offered to watch Adly over the last few months--and meant it. At first I thought it was just people being nice. I'm not one to ask for help for anything, so I kind of just brushed it off. But then friends kept offering and after a while, I slowly started accepting. Eventually I even started asking for help here and there. Of course, I don't ask all the time or on a regular basis so as not to (I hope) make anyone feel overused. When I say, "offer to watch baby", I mean offer to watch them so that mom can run to the grocery store, go get a mani/pedi, a massage, take a walk for 20 minutes. Anything to get mom out of the house. She may not think so at the time, but she needs it. And you can bet that most new moms would never ask for such help, so as not to be a burden. So offer away--if you feel comfortable doing so.

-Clean...if You Can. This one's tricky. I say that because I don't know that I, myself could bust into someone's home and say, "where's the vacuum. I'm cleaning up this dump!" But if you ever find yourself in a position where you are in their house alone for a bit...CLEAN. Oh my word. I had a few friends who found themselves at our house while I was out. And when I came home and found a clean house, I could've cried. In fact, I'm sure I did. While I never thought I needed that kind of help, once it happened I realized just how messy the house had gotten. You have no idea how hard it is to wipe up the kitchen, clean the bathroom, vacuum, etc. when you have a newborn crying their head off for most of the day. 

-Schedule Your Visit. Don't just "drop by". In my normal life, I'm all for drop-in visitors. In post-baby life, you wouldn't believe how much it can screw up your day. People don't do this intentionally, in fact I think most people don't even realize they're doing it. But the weeks/months following birth are a blurry mush of madness. So many people want to make their way over to see baby as soon as possible. This is great and all, but the new mommy, daddy and baby need to have time to themselves too. Scheduling your visit allows the family to have people over when they're most comfortable with it. Additionally, if a mom is breastfeeding, your scheduled visit will allow her to attempt to make sure thats done and over with before you come over. Another little piece of advice is go back again. Seems simple enough, right? But the reality is everyone comes over in a huge wave at the very beginning and then as life normalizes, the phone calls stop coming. Check back in on the new mommy. Meals a month or two afterwards never hurt either...because, as I can attest, life takes a long time to become any kind of new normal.

-Gifts. Again, we had numerous visitors who came over bearing gifts. I cannot say enough how loved Adly really is. And the truth is, people just love giving babies gifts! If you'd prefer to bring a gift when you visit your new mommy friend and baby, then my suggestion would be clothes. Anything in older sizes. I guarantee that baby's nursery is chock full of newborn and 0-3 month outfits. And as you pick out the cutest little 6 month outfit, make sure that it is weather friendly for when the baby will be wearing it. For example, don't buy a winter coat for a baby that will fit into it in the middle of summer. No matter how cute it is. If you're stuck on what to buy, you can never, ever go wrong with onesies. Another idea is to think about the mommy! I once said on here (before giving birth) that I myself would want bottles and bottles of wine. I still stick to that...wine doesn't go bad (believe it or not, it took me a while to jump back on that wagon). I had one friend bring a whole case of wine over! She knows me too well. I also had a few people bring over a whole bunch of nursing supplies. They knew I was breastfeeding and I have to say, I used and am still using everything they brought over. See what I mean? We have the most thoughtful people all around us.

The bottom line is that new mommy's just love visitors. So get over there! It's amazing as a new mom to see how excited your friends and family are over your new bundle of joy. And it makes the new mommy feel loved too. Even if you don't do any of the above, I guarantee that any new mom will be glad to have you even just visit for a while...that is, unless you show up unannounced at 4pm while she's breastfeeding in the pajamas she's been wearing for four days without a shower. Trust me...it happens. 

Pumpkins for My Pumpkin

Fall is finally here and that means apples, pumpkins, football, and colorful leaves.

Of course, we couldn't let this season pass without torturing our child by doing things like apple picking on a sunny day, shoving her inside a pumpkin, and surrounding her with large gourds. That's what she's here for anyways, right?

Child abuse at its finest. 

Seriously mom!?! The pumpkins AGAIN!?

You want me to smile?? How 'bout I kick over this here pumpkin instead. Oopsie daisies!

My favorite pumpkin is the one thats naked and in the green. 

Extraordinarily Ordinary

I can't begin to explain just how many pictures I take a day of our dear daughter. I've always been into capturing moments throughout life, never wanting to forget important events. Since having a child, I find myself fearing I'm going to forget the little things. The moments where she gives me a coy smile, or where she's trying with all her might to lift up her head, or where she's just taking in the world around her. So throughout the day I snap away. 

Some of my favorite photos have been the ones I take on a whim that truly capture the beautiful innocence of her infancy. Here's my latest favorite photo of my little lovey.

Thumbelina

When my little princess came out of the womb they put her on my chest right away and her thumb immediately went into her mouth.

The nurses went, "Awww, look! She's already self soothing! That is wonderful." I on the other hand, began having a panic attack inside. "NOOOOO!!! My child can't be a thumbsucker!! How do I stop this from happening!!??!" You see, I'm a teacher. And this past year I had the most adorable student ever who unfortunately had a terrible time breaking the habit of sucking his thumb. In first grade. When I was a baby, I took a paci. And after a year or so, that paci had to fly out the window to go live with another baby. Yes, I was devastated at the time. But I don't remember any of it and I got over it. So of course, this was going to happen with my own daughter. I had it all planned out. She'd take the paci. I'd let her use it until she was 2 and then it would fly out the window.

Are we noticing a theme on this blog yet? The theme of my current life?? I want to control everything. Instead, I control nothing. Since the day of her arrival, my sweet pea has challenged my desire for her to use a paci by insisting she is going to be a thumbsucker. I clung to the thought that the hospital thumb sucking incident was a fluke up until oh, maybe last week. I spent loads of money on different pacifiers until I found one she would take sometimes. But I was still convinced I could change her.

I keep showing her this picture and talking about how cute she is with the paci. 

She just pushes it away. So rude. 

In the last few weeks, she's become insistent on sucking her fist. Yep, not her thumb, her entire fist. This was mostly because she couldn't find her thumb. But she is my daughter. And therefore, there was no giving up. So try as she might, she has now won the battle of the fist and her thumb has been fighting its way into her mouth.

And while I'm still against it, I've conceded to the fact that this, like most everything else, I clearly cannot control.

I'll even admit, just this once, it really is the cutest thing ever.

Anyone notice she broke out...yet again!?! Determination.

Fromunda My Neck

You've all heard of fromunda cheese, right?!? If you haven't, go ask a teenage or college boy...or someone with comparable maturity levels to find out what it is.

But did you know that babies produce real fromunda cheese?! I'm now lovingly referring to it as "fromunda my neck" cheese. It's not tasty...ick, I gag. And it certainly doesn't smell good.

In the weeks after Adly made her entrance into this world, at times I'd notice an awful smell as I was holding her over my shoulder. That smell was kind of like a mixture of puke and cheese. Sounds yummy, right? I always just assumed it was left over spit up that I had missed. That was, until one day she was napping away on my shoulder, with her neck stretched out. The awful smell came wafting over me again. As I began to investigate more closely, I noticed the collection of a cheese- like substance in my daughters fat folds of her neck. GROSS!! I quickly threw her off me and ran to the bathroom to vomit. Just kidding. In reality, I wiped it with my finger and smelled it up close. Seriously. Why do people do this to themselves? Sure enough...it stunk like shit. 

Why does this happen? Well these little sweeties don't have necks yet, nor can they hold their heads up regularly. Instead they have layers of delectable fat rolls that provide the perfect breeding ground for the yeast that dribbles from their mouths after eating. To add to the matter, in the case of my munchkin, she hates having someone control where her head is going to go. So scrubbing out the curds of cheese is always a difficult process. 

Thankfully, the smell itself is enough motivation to fight the wee ones and endure the screams just to get to the bottom of the folds. Because I've learned wiping the cheese away with your finger and smelling it doesn't get rid of the cheese. No, you need to get in there with a wet washcloth of any kind and scrub away. Now that I'm a veteran in the war against fromunda my neck cheese, I clean under there almost daily. She still screams and cries as I dig and wipe away at her fat folds, but to me it's all worth it to not have to smell that smell ever again.

If you haven't gagged enough yet, I've even got picture evidence of the fromunda.

 Luckily for you, there's no smell o'screen. 

She's still cute. Cheese and all. 

Looking Back

We're about to finish our third month over here and that my friends, means soon we will enter a magical time where everything those cranky newborns have put you through suddenly starts to make a whole lot more sense. Hallelujah! I've been doing a lot of reflecting and, I'll be honest, patting myself on the back for the fact that we made it. And to boot, we're all alive! I wanted to write some things down that I've learned in the last 12 weeks so that next time (yes...you know things are good when I've entered the delusional world of thinking about entering this lions den again) I can hopefully get through it without wanting to leave my baby behind as I peel off down the road, tires squealing and all. Don't judge. You know we've all felt like that.

-SWADDLING IS KEY. Sigh. When I think about swaddling, I want to punch myself in the face. Why??? Because I waited six long, arduous weeks to actually start doing it. Oh, I swaddled her body. But I was totally that neurotic mom. "I just can't bring myself to put her arms in. She's so cute! Look how she puts her arms above her head--just like me! She'll be so stifled if I put her arms in!!" Here's some advice: you will not ever sleep again until you swaddle the baby- arms and all. They startle themselves awake all night long and what that translates to you is: NO SLEEP. And no sleep makes people lose their minds. Can't figure out how the hell to swaddle them in a blanket? Have no fear! For us dummies they even make pre-made swaddles with Velcro! It'll save your swaddling sanity- and you'll feel like a true champ.

-BABIES CRY IN PUBLIC...SO WHAT. In the first few weeks I was beyond terrified of having Adly cry in any way in public. I think this is mainly because I was worried I'd look like a terrible mom or upset a random stranger for ruining their public experience. I have an obsession with putting a face on for everything in life. So that transferred over to new mommyhood. I wanted to seem like I could do this-I was SuperMom-it's no prob! And part of that was never letting her cry in public. I've even ran out of grocery stores half way through my shopping--just so I didn't have to endure the evil stares of strangers. Here's a reality check: babies cry and they cry whenever the hell they feel like it. What I've learned is that half the time, other people can't even hear the baby. You are much more aware of their cries than anyone else. So now, like a pro, I'm that mom that blissfully ignores her crying in public, assuring myself that anyone who is annoyed by her cries is just an asshole. That or they've never gone through this themselves...but someday they likely will and then I'll be sure to glare right back at them.

-TRY, TRY, AND TRY AGAIN. Those little bundles of chunk sure are finicky and oh so picky. At least mine is. I've learned that babies' tastes change on a weekly, if not daily basis. One day they may love something, the next they'll hate it. Yep...it's just another thing to add to your plate when you're beyond exhausted. Next time, I will try things out over and over again until they (hopefully) begin to like it. I'm talking bouncers, swings, play gyms...you name it. Anything that gives you 10 minutes to go shower, brush your teeth, and pee.

-TUMMY TIME IS KEY. Oh, tummy time. You hear about the importance of it everywhere, hospital classes, in the hospital, friends, family. Yet for me, for whatever reason, it has been really hard to incorporate. For one, Adly either hates it or she'll just lay there, attempting to suck her thumb. So for a long time, I stopped doing it. I feel so awful even typing that, I'm already looking over my shoulder for people to come at me with stones. Looking back, that was stupid. I feel like if I had been consistent from the start she would've grown to like it- or at the very least, expect it. Now we're still battling it out at three months in. The lesson learned is: people, protect your sanity in every way possible.

-NEWBORNS ARE JERKS. They just are. They suck the life out of you, taking everything and giving you hardly anything. They flip your life upside down. They don't let you sleep. They never, ever say thank you. And they always have to be with you...especially if you're breastfeeding. This is a big shock for those of us that are any bit selfish, like to sleep for 5+ hours straight, and enjoy alone time. There are days and moments where you'd love to stick a For Sale sign on them, hop in your car, and take off to a time when going to the bathroom didn't involve the panic over crying or a little ones safety. But that's ok. Everyone feels that way at some point or another during this time- most just don't admit it. And just when you've reached the brink of madness, when you're going to throw in the towel and give up, when you're on the last straw, they smile at you. I swear it's biology's way of making sure we all have the power to tough it out. Because that smile will make all of their jerkiness worthwhile. I promise.

-PUMP AT NIGHT. There's something about the exhaustion of this time that makes you just not think clearly. I can't tell you how many times I've dealt with something for a few weeks to only then have a glorious ah-hah! moment, smack myself on the head and say "of course that makes sense!" One of these moments was pumping at night. Around 8-9 weeks, a short while after I FINALLY started swaddling Adly's arms, she began sleeping through the whole night. I know. Can you believe it actually happens?!? You will sleep again. The only problem was, my boobs didn't get the memo. So for the next 2 weeks, I woke up every morning with boobies that rival Dolly Partons, a soaked shirt, soaked sheets, and a whole lot of pain. Getting ginormous boobs overnight is not as sexy as it sounds. It wasn't until I suddenly had that ah-hah! moment of "hey, what if I pump before I go to bed" that I stopped having those problems. And let's be honest...I wasn't that clear headed yet so I'm sure it wasn't my own idea to do so. Multiple people likely mentioned it before I decided to think it up as my own idea. You'll find that phenomenon happens a lot. 

The main thing I want to remember is that it gets better. There were times when I was sure I'd never sleep again, when I hated everything to do with being a parent, and when I just wanted to quit. But like I said, biology has a funny way of knowing when you've had enough and things change. They smile, they sleep, they become this little being that you just can't imagine life without. And you love...more than you ever imagined possible. Thanks for an incredible three months, Ms. Adly Daniele. You've made it worth every second of this roller coaster ride.