Additionally, becoming a toddler means you change from this sweet, innocent bundle to a force to be reckoned with. You want to be heard, understood, and listened to--and get responses (only ones you want to hear) immediately! All of which is a big change for us new parents. "Wait, I'm sorry, whats that? You want the toy? You want to see something on my phone? You are deciding you don't want to eat this delicious meal I cooked for you? Umm, no. I make those decisions. Right? Right?"
In preparation for this new venture, I've been doing a lot of reading up on these creatures called toddlers. Instead of feeling prepared with all the information possible, I find myself feeling like a new parent all over again. Figuring out this stage of life is a bit overwhelming. Toddlers are seriously so stinking cute. They toddle around on their little legs like a drunken sailor, babbling away with indiscernible languages. They act like little versions of big kids and they get to wear the cutest clothes yet since they can finally stand on two legs. They're like tiny little adults. Best of all, they are communicating! You can finally know (most of the time) what it is they are saying or what it is they want! They are taking in the world around them and every day you can catch an earth moving moment where their eyes light up as they learn or see something new.
But then, there's the dark side of toddlerhood. The one which I see us heading towards at lightning speed. The one that involves tantrums and meltdowns. I'm just not ready for it. I see it starting. Its beginnings involve the limp noodle (where one suddenly becomes impossible to pick up). The sitting on the floor and kicking of feet. The breath holding until red in the face. The constant crying, whining, tears. And I know, this is just the beginning.
Toddlers have so much thrown into one day. Their brains are working in overdrive, they don't sleep as much, they're burning a ton of energy moving those wobbly legs to and fro, and picking themselves up off the floor over and over again. I mean, can we blame them for being total jerks no matter where you are or how much of a rush you're in? Add on top of this, a new found language ability. They're able to say a handful of words to get what they want. But the thousands of other words out there all seem so jumbly and mumbly when they tumble out of their tiny mouths. And us parents, we don't dare ask them what it is they need more than once, because not understanding your child is just incomprehensible! Such an action will be met with an immediate wrath or all of the above happening. I picture my child to be screaming inside her head, "Whhhhhhyyyyy! Whhhhyyyyy is mama so dumb?! Whhhhyyy must I deal with this imbecile on a daily basis??!! Obviously, I'm asking her where my toy cow is!!"
A while back, I made the fatal mistake of taking Adly to a restaurant hungry. And then I upped the ante by forgetting to bring any snacks for her. She immediately began to lose it in the restaurant constantly grabbing at the diaper bag. I knew she thought there were snacks in there, but her imbecile mother had forgotten them. On the brink of a level 5 meltdown, the waitress thankfully saved the day with some crackers until her food arrived. Having learned my lesson, the next weekend, I blissfully packaged up some crackers as we headed out to run errands. Heading back to the fact that I'm an imbecile, this time I left my wallet at home. But, hey! I had the snacks! As we were shopping (before I realized I had no money to pay for such things), Adly started to get that twitch in her eye. I knew a tantrum was headed our way. I gleefully whipped out her favorite cracker snack in her favorite to-go container.
She literally looked at me like I was the biggest idiot for even thinking of offering her such a thing then swatted the cup away, scowling at me. WTF? I tried acting like I didn't care, muttering, "whatever then, don't eat your crackers". However inside, I was panicking, sweat starting to bead on my forehead. "Please don't have a meltdown in public, please don't!" But I was also all like, "COME ON. I actually remembered the crackers and now you don't want them!?! What do you want from me?!?" It is SO frustrating to not be appreciated or get a round of applause once in a while. I mean, seriously.
A while back, I made the fatal mistake of taking Adly to a restaurant hungry. And then I upped the ante by forgetting to bring any snacks for her. She immediately began to lose it in the restaurant constantly grabbing at the diaper bag. I knew she thought there were snacks in there, but her imbecile mother had forgotten them. On the brink of a level 5 meltdown, the waitress thankfully saved the day with some crackers until her food arrived. Having learned my lesson, the next weekend, I blissfully packaged up some crackers as we headed out to run errands. Heading back to the fact that I'm an imbecile, this time I left my wallet at home. But, hey! I had the snacks! As we were shopping (before I realized I had no money to pay for such things), Adly started to get that twitch in her eye. I knew a tantrum was headed our way. I gleefully whipped out her favorite cracker snack in her favorite to-go container.
She literally looked at me like I was the biggest idiot for even thinking of offering her such a thing then swatted the cup away, scowling at me. WTF? I tried acting like I didn't care, muttering, "whatever then, don't eat your crackers". However inside, I was panicking, sweat starting to bead on my forehead. "Please don't have a meltdown in public, please don't!" But I was also all like, "COME ON. I actually remembered the crackers and now you don't want them!?! What do you want from me?!?" It is SO frustrating to not be appreciated or get a round of applause once in a while. I mean, seriously.
The other day we had a meltdown over "peel-it's". Adly is obsessed with the fact she knows how to "peel" (or peel and eat the skin) of clementines now. So anytime I open the fridge it's a mad dash for her to squeeze between my legs and dive into the bottom drawer where her little golden nuggets are stored, all for the pure joy of peeling. After her snack of two clementines I told her she was done. Mistake #23,455: never tell a toddler they are done when they want something. This turned into the dramatic whining and following me to the living room shouting "peel-it!!....peeeel it!!!!" My God, child. You'd think I hadn't fed her for days. I ignored her and sat on the couch where we began a Western-style stand-off. Who would give in first? She refused to move from her spot in the living room and I refused to move from the couch despite her cries and streaming tears all for "peel-it's". I tried every tactic I've read or heard about, with nothing working. Finally, I had to give in. I rationalized it by the fact that all she wanted was an orange. I mean, it wasn't candy or chips or a knife. So was it THAT bad? I don't know. The war on toddlerism is a never ending battle of the mind. Did I set the wrong precedent? Will she expect me to give in next time? Should I have stood my ground? Who knows.
However dark and scary these moments are, I realize life certainly wouldn't be the same, (nor would the amount I sweat on outings) without these little beings. I've also changed. I've gone from that mom who gives a knowing glance and nod to new mommies with screaming infants, to the mom who runs away in terror when I hear another toddler screaming in a store. I can't have those little devils following me on my peaceful monthly 20-minute outing to the store without my own toddler!
