Sensitivity

As a new parent, you are forever riding a learning curve. I feel like I can't seem to catch up when it comes to knowing what to do when it comes to baby. On top of that, so often I find myself smacking my forehead for not thinking when it comes to concerns about our daughter. It's almost as though when you're in the moment you're far too mind-clouded to think properly. It's only once you step back and listen to someone else that you have that "ah-hah" moment and suddenly it all makes sense.

For the last month or so, I've noticed little red dots on the back of Adly's chunky little thighs. I had also noticed redness around her leggy cracks. I was convinced it was dry skin, so I began putting Aquaphor on it. This is a thick, petroleum jelly type of lotion for very dry skin. It seemed to work somewhat, but after a month the dots and redness were still there.

We finally had our 4 month appointment this week and from that I discovered some information I thought would be helpful to pass along for other little ones. Turns out, it was not only really dry skin, but also extremely sensitive skin. My poor babes has been living with dry, irritated skin for months now and I've only been doing multiple things to exacerbate her symptoms even more.

Per our pedi's recommendations, we switched a number of things and within a few days, I've already noticed a huge difference. Here's what I learned:

-Use a humidifier. Seems simple right? This is how mucked up your mind can get. I have a humidifier. I registered for it and a kind friend purchased it for us. It's been plugged in and filled with water (until it evaporated) for over a month now. I used it once, but in my mind I got concerned that it would be too damp in there and therefore give her a cold. Seriously. Looking back...really Kelly? Really? So I never turned it on again. According to the doc, they need the moisture in the air. Not a ton, but at least some, especially during these cold winter months.  We will now be turning it on every night to help get some moisture in the air.

-If it smells good, don't use it. At one of our showers, we received some very yummy smelling, organic, "all natural" body wash for babies. It looks all fancy and I thought for sure it must be good for Adly. I mean, its organic and all natural! Turns out, if it smells good, it has smelly chemicals in it, which for very sensitive skinned babies, means irritation. Instead, you want non-smelly, sensitive skin wash. And when it comes to amounts, only a dab will do you. We have now switched to this Cetaphil Cleanser.

-Keep bath time short and cool. Adly looooves bath time. She kicks, splashes and is always very content during this time. We love it as a way to wind down for bedtime. Unfortunately, after 10 minutes in the bath, the natural oils in her little body are all but sucked out by the water and left to leave her with itchy, dry skin. Additionally, the water should not be too warm. Another, "duh" moment....

-If you can pump it, it's filled with water. For Adly, because of her sensitive skin, regular lotions just weren't cutting it. In addition to the daily applications of Aquaphor, I was also regularly rubbing her down with fancy scented organic lotions we also received. Once again with the smells. Another factor our doc pointed out was that lotions in pump bottles have to be more liquid-like in order to come out through the pump. Therefore their water content is quite high, which is never going to help with really dry skin. Ah-haaahhhh...... We have now switched to this Cetaphil Cream that is in a jar and far more thick than regular lotion.

-No dryer sheets. I'm not sure if this is common knowledge, but I had no idea you shouldn't be using dryer sheets when drying infant clothing. We made sure to purchase the purest, "free" detergents, but for whatever reason I never considered the dyer sheets. Turns out, of course those have lots of irritants as well and should not be used.

So there you have it. Torture by smelly body washes, smelly lotions, long baths, and irritating dryer sheets. If you have a newbie and notice their skin is getting dry and irritated, maybe try out some of these things. Hopefully your moment of clarity will come faster than mine did.

Thankfully, despite all of these things, she still seems like a normal, healthy and happy baby. Must be doing some things right!

Cute baby picture alert!

Regression.

Right now, we're in the midst of what is commonly known as the "4 month sleep regression phase". Yes. Regression. That is NEVER a good word when you are a parent. Nothing like climbing to the top of mount parenthood, sticking your "I'm an awesome Mom!" flag into the peak, only to have the wind immediately send you tumbling back down. 

Thankfully, this phase has not yet affected Adly at night. Yet. (Because as I sit here, feeling so bad for all my mommy friends who are up at night right now, I know that will likely be me in a week). 

But her sleep has regressed during the day for naps. I swear...control freaks have no business being parents. I spent day after day attempting to form some sort of napping schedule, mostly for my own sanity. We had some semblance of a schedule down around month three and I was feeling fantastic. But alas, that elation was short lived. In the last week, our napping schedule has all been thrown out the window. Suddenly, you know who decided she didn't want to nap anymore. She told me this by throwing tantrums anytime it came time to lay down for sleepy time during the day.

Let me tell you, a day with an infant that doesn't nap is VERY LONG. Not only because you never get a break, but a newborn who doesn't nap has a knack for becoming VERY CRANKY. And we all know how fun cranky babies are.

In order to get to the bottom of what the hell happened to my routine and scheduled life, I turned to my faithful group of mommy friends. This was via text message as I was bawling my eyes out trying to tune out the sounds of her wails from the nursery, 20 minutes in. Turns out, everyone was feeling the pain and exhausted. It was then that I learned of this sleep regression period. It happens to nearly everyone around four months.

I say nearly because there will always be that one parent and baby that says, "Oh, my little one is still sleeping fantastically! We're on schedule and I'm tra-la-la-ing all the way through the night! I feel so bad for you!" (They'll get theirs one day).

Anyways, some information that came from a mommy friend that helped me through this period is from Mannly Mama and The Sleep Lady. Both of these posts helped me to feel SO much better about what we are going through. There truly is something amazing about the feeling of, "I'm not alone in this hell." Turns out the little ones are learning and discovering so much during the day that it's hard from them to shut their brains off and take a nappy. They are more mobile now and love trying out the new skills they're learning every day. They are also changing from their newborn sleeping patterns into those of adults, and thats a heavy change for an itty bitty. So all of these things take some time for the little ones to figure out. That translates to mommies everywhere being thrown into a frenzy of, "where did I go wrong!" Only, we didn't go wrong anywhere. Growing takes a lot of work and sometimes, that growth is going to throw everything we worked so hard for out the window. But someday, somehow, it will all come back to them. And all will be right with the world again....that is, until the next change comes our way a few weeks later.

I've got big shoes to fill!

twinkie toes

To a baby, it can appear that there is nothing more tasty than a set of toes and feet. It seems as though our munchkin has recently entered into this stage. She looooves her feet.

The progression of her foot into her mouth happened in a few stages.

At first it was like, "Oooh! What are these things I can grab onto that are always flailing around me?! I like to try to catch them."

Then it became like,  "Hmm...can I....oh why, yes, I can. I'm going to take these here things and shove them in my mouth. Mmmm.....interesting."

Now it's like, "Give me those things! I want them in my mouth now! Yes....hmphmhm...I love sucking my toes!!"

Either way, she seems to thoroughly enjoy getting them into her pie hole and then sucking the life out of them. And for whatever reason, as an adult, I think it's the cutest darn thing in the world. This has been by far one of my favorite discoveries she has made.

4 Months

Adly's 3rd month was an exciting one, with many changes, most of which were noticeable even on a day-to-day basis. It never ceases to amaze me how much babies grow and change during this time. Here's life with Adly as she enters into her 4th month of life:

-She is "talking" non-stop these days. The weekend she turned 4 months, she began making a loud, singing type of noise. She now does this as her regular way of communication and it is beyond cute.

-She also recently discovered her feet. Her favorite thing is to lay on her back while "chatting" away, grabbing at her toes and feet. She investigates them when there's socks on them and sticks them in her mouth whether there's socks on them or not. Who knew feet could invoke such awe and wonder!?

-Teething. We've officially entered the stage of, "maybe she's teething?" that will likely last for the next year. While no teeth have come through her gums, the child gnaws on anything in site. Her favorites are hands, fingers, Sophie the Giraffe, burp cloths, her O-Ball Rattle....basically anything within reach.

-This stage has also brought on the drool. When Adly was born, I received tons of bibs. I almost packed them away to bring out once she began eating solids because I just couldn't foresee any use for them until then. Now I get it. She constantly drools like a dog that has a meaty steak dangling in front of it. These bibs seem to help keep some of it off of her clothes.

-Adly loves to imitate anyone who is in front of her now. Her favorites are mouth movements, especially using her tongue to blow bubbles and making fart noises.

Please note the drool. 

-She's working hard at sitting up and loves to be assisted in doing so. When we try laying her down anymore, she grunts as she attempts to sit up on her own. I think once she got a taste of seeing the world around her in a new way, she didn't want to give it up. Laying down is soooo last month!

-While my little Rover daughter rolled over multiple times in a 24 hour span in her 3rd month, her desire to perform such tricks now changes with the weather. She still can't stand tummy time and her latest protest to it has been to just lay there and shove her fist in her mouth. Someday, you stubborn child, you.

I have nipples Greg....

You guys. I have something to admit.

This one time, up north, I had to milk my boobs. With my own hands. 

And it was the worst experience.

I know, I know. Some people swear by hand expressing. I, myself, however prefer to rely solely on the modern technology of electric pumps. While I have felt like a cow at times, you've never really felt like a cow until it's 4am, and you're in a bathroom, sitting on the toilet seat squeezing the crap out of your boobs with your hands in an attempt to get some relief (I was sitting on the toilet because my legs got tired). Producing milk by only the power of your own two hands is not an easy task!

When we went up north, I packed everything. Or so I thought. When we got there, I realized I had everything but this little, tiny part to my pump called a flange. I never knew that without this little flange you can't pump. Once I discovered this, I thought maybe I'd still be ok. Maybe I wouldn't even need to pump after all? That thought lasted until the first morning when I woke up with Pamela Anderson sized boobies and a soaking wet shirt. Sigh.

Of course, my child could've relieved this quickly. But I'd jump in front of a semi before I would ever wake a sleeping baby, so I knew I had to figure something else out. I tried the pump just for giggles and of course, it still wouldn't work. They hurt so bad I knew I just had to get the milk out as soon as possible.

While I sat in desperation, this came to mind....

"That's it!" I thought. I can "milk" my boobs... just like I think you would a cow (or a cat) and sure enough, it actually worked! Within 45 minutes I had relief from the pain and a whole bottle of milk. I then patted myself on the back and immediately went to get a bag of ice to ease the tendonitis that was quickly appearing in my hands from all the hard work.

While I hope to never have to do it again, at least I know there are options out there. And now, whenever I get frustrated at having to set aside 15 minutes and pump, I bring myself back to that rock bottom moment of sitting on a toilet seat, in the dark, milking my own "teats".

Comfort in Numbers

The funny thing about living in a big city is that life tends to happen at a slower pace. Daily life of course is much more fast paced than in a smaller city, but life changing events tend to happen later in life around here. What that means to me is that when I found myself engaged at 29, only a handful of my closest friends had been there, done that. Seven months later I was married and while we were still somewhat the odd men out, it was no big deal. It was really no different than dating or being engaged.

Then I was pregnant. 

Suddenly, I was really the odd man out. I knew one friend in the suburbs who had just had a baby and then there was my friend Laura in the city who had just found out she was also pregnant. But beyond that, I was the only one in our crowd of friends from Chicago who was going through this life changing experience. While I didn't quite realize it at the time, it's a lonely time. Even just being pregnant immediately changes your lifestyle--if you're any bit social. 

But being pregnant is one thing. Once the baby comes, you're really in a world of your own. And let me tell you, it can be a very scary world. Well, at least for someone who thrives on having control in their daily life. 

Thankfully, Laura went through her pregnancy and birth only one month prior to me. Immediately following delivery and as I entered into the jungle that is parenthood, I can't tell you how many times I turned to Laura for guidance. It was comforting to know someone out there understood exactly what was happening with me and my baby on a daily basis. Even if neither of us knew the answer (which happened often), at least we knew we weren't totally crazy.  

About 6 weeks into my journey as a mom, Laura set up a mommy/baby day at the park with two of her friends who had recently become mom's as well. We all met for the first time on a Wednesday and have been doing so regularly ever since. Over the last few months, our group has increased to even more mommies, all with babies the same age as mine. Our weekly playdates at the park have also grown to trying out music classes with the little ones, meeting for coffee, and countless group texts about baby poop, sleep, eating habits....you name it, we've texted about it. 

I now find myself greatly looking forward to this time together, if nothing else because it provides a real sense of commradorie. Together we can commiserate over the hardships of having a newborn, be reassured that what's happening is perfectly normal, and mark new growths as they come. We talk about what's coming up next for the babies and celebrate their individual milestones together. It's short and sweet, usually only an hour or two based on how the babes have been sleeping, but it's just enough to help me walk away feeling great about all the craziness we're going through. The best part is, no one blinks an eye if your little one is screaming their head off, you have poop on your shirt, or you forgot a diaper or boob pads (there's always plenty to share!).

I am so grateful for the outlet this small group of mommy friends has given me. The hour or so a week we spend together gives us a free outlet to talk about the happenings of our little ones that others just wouldn't understand. It allows us to lament the struggles and be proud of the progress we all make, inch by inch. And together, for a small amount of time each week, we all find comfort in numbers.

Our first mommy meet up with Laura at the park in August. They're so little!

Music class time! Their enthusiasm is hardly contained. 

flower girl

This weekend, Adly got to walk down the aisle for the first time with her daddy. Oh, that makes me tear up even typing it.

Adly's aunt Nora (or, aunt Nowy as I'm convinced Adly will call her) got married! We were so honored to have her ask Adly to be the flower girl for her big day. Of course, she's not able to walk just yet, so her daddy who was also in the wedding carried her down the aisle.

The wedding was beautiful, the bride was stunning, and Adly was as cute as could be. I was so anxious all day about getting her to nap properly, because as we've learned the last few months, a sleepy baby makes for a very, very cranky baby. Thanks to the help of my dad and Anita, she was well rested when she arrived at the venue and was all ready for her moment in the spotlight. Between eating the tulle and the flower on her dress, Adly sure knew how to deliver the all important flower girl cuteness.

Here's our sweet little flower girl.

Love.

Watching aunt Nora put on her finishing touches. 

A thumb and a burp cloth. What every classy lady needs. 

Ready for showtime!