Thankful. (Peanut Allergy Awareness)

For 8 years I've been in classrooms and taught how to use EpiPens...if the day ever came. I never believed I'd ever use one. For 3 years, I've had a daughter who tested positive for a peanut allergy with a component for severe anaphylaxis to occur if ever ingested. I still never thought I'd use one.

Finding out Adly had a peanut allergy via a scratch test at 11 months old was a bummer for sure. However, I don't think either of us fully understood the gravity of the diagnosis. Yes, she now had a peanut allergy and it was going to make our life a little more difficult. But I didn't want that to stop us from living as normal people. I didn't want to be that overbearing mom I've seen plenty of times who refused to let my child "live" at restaurants, parties, and play dates. Plus, beyond a few spots on her face, I had never seen any type of reaction regarding peanuts. It is such an abstract diagnosis that it can be hard to fully comprehend the severity of it. Your child gets pricked with a needle yearly, some blood is drawn, and weeks later your notified over the phone whether the allergy is still present and the severity of it. As of age two, with the blood test results, we were told the following: Adly tested positive on a level 2 out of 4 in severity. However, she has a component within the allergy that identifies to present itself through anaphylaxis if ingested, which therefore makes it that much more serious.

We have been diligent about any food products we buy at home and making sure she always has her EpiPen on hand wherever we go. We make sure everyone close to us knows about the allergy, we inform any caretakers and send her to a peanut-free school with EpiPens. Because that is what you're told to do. But truthfully, I never really thought she'd ever be in a situation where she might have any kind of severe reaction. Because we're careful. 

This weekend, we were invited to a neighbors first birthday party where we didn't know anyone. We were both excited at the prospect of meeting new people with kids in our neighborhood. It was a hustle and bustle kind of night, trying to talk to and meet everyone while chasing around our wild one year old and simultaneously keeping an eye on our 3 year old. It was at that party that my very smart and knowledgeable daughter ate two Reese's peanut butter bell candies, across the room from us, with another little girl. In the final seconds of the act, Adam happened to notice Adly chewing something.

Neither girl would admit to eating anything. Adam smelled peanut butter on her breath. It was only after some coaxing that I was able to get the wrapper from the other little girl. My heart sank to my feet when I carefully unballed the red foil to read "Reese's". We looked at her, she was fine. No grabbing her neck because she couldn't breathe, no redness, no hives; all of which I had expected to happen were we ever in this situation. For the next 10 minutes we held our breath at the party, trying to remain calm. No symptoms. Maybe she wasn't even really allergic, I kept telling myself.

"Maybe she didn't even eat it," I hopefully said to a dad who was sitting near the girls. "No, she definitely did," he confirmed.

After some back and forth we decided to leave and go back home to observe her. There, we peppered her with questions. She was over it; tired and annoyed. She wouldn't answer us. "Do you feel itchy? Does your throat feel weird? Does your tummy hurt?" Lets be honest, does a toddler really know how to answer those questions? Probably not. But in that moment, it was all I could do to keep myself sane. 10 minutes later. She's going to be fine. It was just a fluke, Maybe she really didn't even eat it. She KNOWS she's allergic to peanuts. She KNOWS to ask before she eats.

10 more minutes. Call the pediatrician, they can tell me its all just a fluke and it will go away. There were still no visible symptoms, but she had started coughing. I made the call. Left a voicemail on the emergency line in which they respond within 20 minutes. Two minutes later, our pediatrician called back, asking for a rundown of what had happened.

The pediatrician stated with a firmness and urgency I'll never forget: "Get the EpiPen and administer immediately. Then get to the ER as fast as possible. I know you don't see much now, but when it happens, the reaction is going to come fast."

I hung up the phone. Walked to the bathroom like a robot and instructed Adam to pull her pants down. I pulled out the EpiPen that was in its trusty spot. I scanned the instructions, walking to the living room. I popped the cap. I held her thigh. I stabbed. She screamed. Adam and I counted out loud over her screams, "one one thousand, two one thousand..." I lost it, sobbing through the counting. Time slowed to a halt. 10 seconds in the thigh.

And then it was over. Just like that. I dried my own tears and went back into robot mode. Move the cars, I thought. I ran outside with no coat, moving Adams snow covered car blindly into the street. I ran in and got our other car keys, hearing Adly screaming at the top of her lungs. Brush off the car, warm up the car. Go, go, go....

All this time I had been thinking Adam would take her to ER and I would stay behind with Ellie. He is the calm one who knows how to handle these situations far better than I. However, I've been the one to handle her allergies, take her to her yearly summer allergist appointment and receive the EpiPen education. After a quick back and forth it was decided I should go. To the car. Go, go, go....

On the 13 minute drive to the hospital we hit every.single.light. Adly began declining rapidly in the car. She was talking nonsense and continuing to attempt to pass out. Like a robot, I'd shake her leg and make her tell me a story. Like a robot, I was complaining about the lights. "We should've taken a f*!king ambulance", I muttered at a light. I heard Adly quietly remind me from the backseat, "it's going to be ok mama." Of course. My beyond her years daughter could speak so wisely, yet she couldn't remember in that moment to NOT EAT THE CANDY. Why?? Because she's three. She's still a baby. My baby.

When we finally raced into the ER driveway and I got her out, I was shocked. She was mumbling, beet red red, and swollen. There was a line at the sign-in and all I remember is shouting about how she was in anaphylactic shock and needed to get in to get another shot. The receptionist grabbed us and led us back into the triage where they immediately got to work. Suddenly my baby was being stabbed in her other leg, IV going in her hand, mask on her face. She was screaming and crying inconsolably. The doctor came in and that is when I slipped from robot mom into ohmygodwhatishappening mom and lost it. I couldn't even compose myself to explain the details of what had happened.

 About an hour after being admitted to hospital. 

It wasn't for another few hours that the symptoms began to subside. She had eaten a good amount and they needed to keep her overnight to continue observing. It is common for the reaction to take hold again even hours after exposure, because of the fat content in peanuts. Thankfully, by morning and after a lot of drugs, she was completely back to her old self.

 Showing her handy dandy IV holder pad. 

 Checking out the snow the next morning from our room. 

Playing with her new Barbie our sweet nurse gave her in the morning. Fully recovered.

In the days since that awful night, we've done a lot of reflecting and talking between Adam and I and with Adly. A few days later, it came out in conversation with her that she actually had asked the little girl if it had nuts. She really did know what to say. But of course, what does an unknowing three year old answer to that? "There's no nuts. You're fine. Here you go, eat it."  For all that little girl knew, she was being nice to Adly and sharing her candy. To any other child without allergies, they know nothing about nuts and the danger of them. The bottom line is, so much education is required when it comes to these allergies, and sometimes, it's just not enough.

I wanted to share our experience to provide a helpful reminder to those with allergies especially during the holiday season. These allergies are serious, and can be life threatening. If you know your child has an allergy, do your best to assess all types of food available when going to gatherings. This is one of the things I always do. But on this particular night, I didn't. I saw random candies laid out carefully in pretty bowls and never stopped to personally remind Adly she couldn't eat them.

Adly experienced what is called a latent reaction. This reaction works its way from the inside out and therefore takes time to show any visible symptoms. Meanwhile, its wreaking havoc internally on the body. I often get asked how we even discovered she was allergic to peanuts. Common signs of any allergic reactions (and what we first experienced at 11 months) are red splotchy spots around the mouth. Any noticeable irritation after eating a certain food. We treated immediately with a dose of Benedryl and she was fine. It is important to note that reactions get worse the more times a person is exposed. Therefore, at 11 months, Adly's first exposure, the reaction was minimal. Fast forward two more years and it was life threatening.

We've now purchased Adly this bracelet she will wear day and night for as long as I can force her to. It was something I had considered buying but for whatever reason never did. No, this wouldn't have stopped that little girl from telling Adly the candy she wanted to give her didn't have nuts. But maybe it would've notified a parent who was standing closer than we were. Just maybe. Our child is very quickly leaving our very protective nest of safety, entering school, play dates, playgrounds, and gatherings where we can't keep our eye on her every little move. I can only hope she continues to be protected from any more incidents.

Ever since Thanksgiving, Adly has loved to randomly ask what I'm thankful for. Yes, we could have done a lot of things differently but I think if anything, I'm thankful we now know just how serious it is. I'm thankful we caught her eating it. I'm thankful we had the EpiPen. I'm thankful we have responsive pediatricians, no matter the day or hour. I'm thankful for the ER staff who knew what to do right away to make her better.

But above all else, I'm thankful my sweet girl is still here with us today.

One Year.

Our sweet Eleanor is one.

Where did the time go? 

In one year, our lives have changed tremendously. We had a winter off together. We bought a house and moved to the suburbs. I left my job and many dear friends. Adly became potty trained and started pre-school. I began a new job and grade level. So many changes, and all for the better.

Here is Ellie, at one year old:

At one, Ellie is standing and letting go (and promptly dropping like a sack of potatoes). She is one determined little peanut and holds true to the statement "try, try, try...and try again."

She is slowly scaling around the couch.

She will "walk" with the help of mama or dada holding her hands.

She is like a little tree monkey and climbs up my legs to standing, wherever I stop.

Ellie has 2 bottom front teeth.

She eats, but is very picky. Her favorite foods include toast, any fruit, frozen peas, yogurt, and applesauce. She does not like meat or fish.

She can only drink milk from a cup. She has no time for the nonsense of Sippy's or straws. Sitting up to drink can be hard for her, so she does best in the highchair with an adult holding the cup for her.

She says "mama", "dada", "doggie", and "tee-tee" (pretty). I swear I heard an "Adeee!" when she was crawling after Adly one day. But that has only happened once. She is mostly known for her noises at this point. My absolute favorite is when she kisses someone and then goes "ohhhhhh!" She also falls and makes an "oooo!" sound.

Her favorite animals are cows, dogs, lions, bears, and elephants. She can make their sounds and goes crazy when she sees any of the above live and in person. Like when we went to the zoo and saw a lion close up, she went crazy roaring. And when we go for walks, she sees a dog and kicks and wiggles like crazy saying "woof, woof!!"

Ellie continues to even out our family with her calm, happy disposition. We are still all shocked when she cries, because it happens so rarely. She wakes up happy and goes to bed happy. We still have no idea where this bizarre personality came from, and hope it stays forever and ever (even through the threenager years).

While she's really the happiest baby ever, she is also quite the stinker! We are learning her sneaky little ways every day. She has no problem walloping her big sister in the face whenever she can get the chance. She gets into anything and everything she can get her hands on. When she is locked out of a room by baby gates she climbs up the gate, shakes it with all her might and screeches to be let in. Left laying in bed and want to get up or don't want to go to bed? Ellie's answer to that is to kick the walls with all her might (this can be heard throughout the entire house). More than once, Adam and I have caught eyes shaking our heads and realizing....she might be the one that really gives us a run for our money.

Ellie is still a total mama's girl, although she loves her dada and being with him too. She also adores her big sister.

She is a typical little sister and wants everything her big sissy has. Naturally, her big sissy does not enjoy "sharing". But honestly, more often than not, they love playing together. I think Adly is truly starting to enjoy this little being that can chase her, and play silly games with her. They laugh hysterically together over nothing and will play for extended amounts of time on their own. I absolutely adore these times together and only hope they continue. These are the moments I live for.

We are still taking things day by day as far as the low tone diagnosis goes. I've done a lot more reading on it over the last few months. It can come through in many forms as far as speech and fine motor skills are concerned, but for that only time will tell. She will be reevaluated at her one year appointment goes as far as her leg strength progress is concerned and we will discuss the necessity of therapy at that time.

I never could have guess one year ago how much I could love another little being. It's true that those feelings are present, and heavy before another little one comes. But the reality is, your heart really does have so much more room for other little loves. (Although this heart is full enough with two).

Thank you, my sweet Ellie-Bo-Belly for making our lives complete. We love you more than words could ever do justice.

What is this awful sweet stuff you shoved in my mouth!?

 

 

 



6 months!

Every month I shake my head in disbelief how fast time has flown...but here we are. Halfway to a year. I cannot believe my littlest is now 6 months.

The last two months have been big ones, for all of us. Mama and dada are now both back to work and we have a new nanny watching the girls. Everyone seems to be adjusting well to the changes for the most part. Figuring out how to balance a job that is draining and then putting on my mom-hat each night has proven to be a challenge for sure. I tip my hat to all moms...working or staying home. Both require so much energy!

Mother's Day at the park with my girls. 

 

Ellie has grown leaps and bounds in so many ways. Her favorite activities these days are flinging herself forward and then backwards as she tries to work on her core. She also loves diving forward for objects while being supported and sitting. Just before six months she started rolling this way and that, working her way towards an object. She is still not a fan of bearing any weight on her little legs, so we practice getting used to that as well. This is an area where she is so very different from Adly.

At her 6 month checkup, we did learn that Ellie falls into the low-range of tone for her legs. From what I can gather, this means she may need physical therapy in the coming months to help her along and strengthen her legs. She still has no desire to bear any weight on them and turns into a big flop when being prompted to do so. She will likely hit all of her milestones regarding crawling and walking later (just as she has rolled later). Hopefully my little peanut can keep up as she grows.

Happiest baby I know (with the coolest rooster tail).  

Her favorite location to play is in front of our closet door mirrors. Here is where Ellie and I can sit and she can giggle in awe at the fact that she can see me in the mirror....and when she turns her head. She consistently does a double take, almost saying, "wait...there's my mama...but then she's here too!?!" Here she also practices making all kinds of noises, her most recent favorite being something like a growl.

Eating. That's so 4 months! The last two months, Ellie has spent her time in the high chair making the most horrendous faces, full of pure astonishment that I would even fathom the thought of feeding her things like applesauce and sweet potatoes and cauliflower. I know, I know. I'm a horrible person. But  she loves to watch her sister and I eat. And then she tries to grab at the spoon. Then she shoves the spoon in her mouth and we all applaud and say, "Yaaaay! That's how you eat, Ellie!" And then come back the looks of pure horror of the god awful food she just tasted. Some day, just not now.

We got her first giggles this month. I love baby giggles. Of course, the one person who can get the most giggles is her big sister Adly.

Adly is still Ellie's number one lady. As she's getting more mobile, Adly is loving being Ellie's punching bag. She will lay face to face with Ellie and laugh hysterically as Ellie smacks and pulls Adly's hair. Now that Ellie can sit up with assistance, she loves to face Adly and grab at her clothes and feet, then lean in for hugs. Let's hope Adly's patience for her little sister continues as the years go by. They are also starting to interact with smiles and their own little ways of communicating. It sure warms the soul. 

Walked in to find these two having their own moment. 

Finally, naps. Regularly scheduled naps appear to also be so four months for Ellie. Gone are the days when she would consistently nap two hours in the morning and two in the afternoon. Every day seems to be a crapshoot for naps. My only saving grace is that she is seriously the happiest baby ever--unless she's tired. And when she is tired, she will nap. When she's not, she's just ready to party.

A rare nap in mama's arms. 

In other, much bigger news, our family as a whole has made some life changing decisions in the last two months.

For starters, we are moving to the suburbs! Honestly, suburbia has been calling since we had Adly. However it really took the last three years of stair climbing, parking spot finding, and baby carseat carrying to make us realize its time. I long for a driveway, a basement, and a backyard. This winter, having all four of us at home was the final straw. Adly is a toddler and has so much more energy that needs to be burned off and requires the space to do so. We both grew up with a backyard and a basement to play in, and began longing for our kids to have the same things.

And so, we finally pulled the trigger and will be heading out of the city at the end of this school year.

This decision also means I have to leave my job that I love. There are laws requiring teachers to live within city limits that I was not willing to mess with. I am so unbelievably sad to leave my work family and all the students and families I've come to know and love over the last 7 years. My school is such a special place and I am forever grateful I learned from the best during my time here. Starting the next school year, I'll be in a new school, new grade, and totally new environment.

We are honestly so excited and sad at the same time to leave the life and friends we've known for the better part of 11 years. But there will be so many more opportunities for our little family and the girls out that way, so we think it is the best decision we could have made. Wish us luck, in all the upcoming adventures for B-way, party of four!

Until next time...

 Checking out the big kids at the park.

 Those smiles!

 First time on the swings, compliments of her big sister.

 A moment with my oldest.

4 Months

During the last month, Adam and I celebrated 6 glorious years together and then we headed off to Arizona for a two week long family vacation. It was a good, long vacation for all of us and we certainly enjoyed the weather. Our trip took up most of February, so the month went by fairly quickly. 

This month was definitely Ellie's most difficult time so far. We spent a lot of it trying to figure out who this screaming child was, and what happened to our sweet, quiet, always sleeping baby!? After a lot of trial and error, it appears that poor Ellie was being underfed.

I'm sorry to out you Ellie....but this was literally what most of our month looked like. 

Ever since she arrived, my milk production has been much lower than it was with Adly. All I can gather is that Ellie slept so much in the beginning, that she didn't eat as much as Adly did, which lowered my production. And because I didn't pump to keep production high, it quickly tapered off. Therefore, especially in the last month, any time I've even tried pumping, I've only gotten 1-2 ounces. In the last week and a half, we've been using frozen milk and slowly switched over to formula. And since then, the difference in her demeanor has been night and day. It makes me feel terrible for letting it go for so long. And is just another reminder that even the second time around, these babies are a constant mystery!

I remember when I weaned with Adly I had a lot of sentimental moments and felt guilty and so on. However this time around I was more than happy to make the switch. There wasn't an ounce of sadness for some reason. I think it was because I saw how much more she needed and I just couldn't provide it. We are still nursing at random times, and I'll likely continue that as long as my body will allow. But for the most part she is on formula at this point. 

Ellie has also completely scheduled herself as far as sleeping goes. I throw my hands up on this one. I worked so hard with Adly to make it happen...and I have no idea how, but Ellie just fell right into it. Maybe it was because Adly is already so routined it just naturally forced it. But whatever it was, I am so grateful for it. Throughout the last month, she seemed to be working out the kinks with sleeping through the night. There were some occasional wake ups and some occasional screaming fits at bedtime, both of which I now believe came from hunger. Either way, she's been sleeping 7am-6am for most of the month. And she is like clockwork. Being minutes off creates a screaming banshee. As soon as nighttime fell into place, naps followed right behind. She now naps two hours in the morning, one to two hours in the afternoon, and then a little hour long catnap in the early evening. I'm not kidding, and I don't know how it happened. It just did. Adly took months and months to nail down naps. I do think I probably naturally implemented a lot more routine than I did with Adly because this time around it is now second nature. So that likely helped.

We also officially dropped the pacifier this month. While it was so helpful to calm her in touchy situations (most of the time), she really prefers her thumbs way more. Somehow, both of my girls are full on thumbsuckers. I have mixed emotions about it. I know it by far has helped them become really good sleepers. But I also know, getting them to stop will be an uphill battle. I just hope that as they age, they don't hold onto it as I know some kids do.

She has found her voice in the last week or so and it is really the cutest thing I've seen. Before she came, I was already worrying that the poor girl would never be able to get a word in with her big sister running the show. Thankfully, so far, I appear to be wrong in my worries. She loves to "sing" at the top of her lungs and experiment with different sounds. She does this the most when she's laying on her play mat. She has also taken an interest in toys. She swats at them and tries to pull them into her mouth. Her big sister has had a REALLY hard time seeing all these new, tempting baby toys come out of storage. We've definitely had our share of "sharing with sister" talks...although Ellie could really care less that her sister constantly steals her toys from her.

Big sissy helping little sissy with tummy time. 

Ellie has little interest in rolling over so far, although she will sometimes attempt it when on her tummy (I think only because she wants off of her tummy). I am, self admittedly, terrible with implementing tummy time. However when we do it, I roll her over so she can get the sensation of it and man, does she HATE it. So I'm not going to be surprised if she's late to the party on that development.

Our winter wonderland of family time is all too quickly winding down, and I will soon be faced with the dreaded return to work. We were unbelievably lucky that our timing worked out just as we had hoped. I don't know how I would have survived had Adam not been home to tag team with me. I know, it sounds spoiled rotten. But I maintain that I was just not mentally equipped with the tools to handle newborns on my own. It is, to me, the hardest job on the face of the planet. Especially in the first three months.

While I'm having a hard time mentally preparing to leave little Ellie with someone else, Adly is desperately in need of a new person to come in to play with her. She is definitely bored with mom and dad and ready for some different interaction. There is another part of me that is also ready to get back to work and see my kiddos I left what now seems like light years ago. It will be interesting to come in at the end of the year and see how much they've grown as students and little people.

My girls. 

For our last month at home, I'm headed to Nashville for my future sister in law's bachelorette party and we are busy planning "lasts" to do as a family before Adam heads into his crazy busy season. This last month for Ellie was such a big one of growth, I can't wait to see what March brings for us.

Six years...so many memories! 

Ready for my first flight!

 Family selfie in Sedona. 

 Happy girl, poolside.

 Another happy girl in the sun. 

She was happy...some of the time!  

 Dada and his girls. 

 Tucson to see uncle Chris and aunt Cole!

 Papa and Tata came too!

Love you to pieces, Miss Eleanor. 

3 Months

Ellie's third month was a big one, for all of us a family. Lots of changes and big girl things happening around here.

For starters, Ellie gained a lot of neck control this month. I'm not sure how, as I just can't stand tummy time. Meaning, I can't stand when she screams her way through it. Therefore I'm just not that good at implementing it. Thankfully, she appears to have gained excellent neck strength by the power of her own will. She is now lifting that head up like a little superwoman, as she pretends to soar on the couch. I remember this change with Adly as well. There is something about seeing your little one pop their head up when laying down to get a new view of the world that is so exciting!

This month Ellie also gained her lungs. For the first two months, she slept a great deal and was always cool as a cucumber. For the life of us, we could not figure out where she got her personality from. But man, were we ever enjoying it. However, she recently appears to have found her inner voice and boy does she love sharing it. When she is mad...she is MAD. When she is tired....she is TIRED. Adly was always, and I mean always, calmed by the boob. The girl loved to eat. Not Ellie. Nothing works to calm her down when she gets herself into a rage. Oh...look what I did there without even thinking about it....a rage. Yep, she's my daughter. This has been a teensy bit scary and frustrating for us as parents, mainly because there's nothing that can be done at that point besides to let her scream. This has largely come to light in the last week as she's been working on figuring out her sleep patterns, so I hope all of it is interrelated. 

As far as sleep goes, this past week I reached my breaking point as a tired mama. I swear I just can't wrap my head around how mommies everywhere do nighttime feeds for months and months. I commend all of you! We had gotten Ellie down to one feeding a night for the most part at around 3:30am, which isn't terrible. The problem for me has been I've definitely suffered from some postpartum anxiety this go-round. So while Ellie would wake up and feed and so wonderfully fall right back asleep, I would stay up the rest of the night stressing myself into a panic over anything and everything and never falling back asleep. Weeks and weeks of not sleeping makes people crazy, and I was just about to that point. In the last week, her sleep patterns became worse, waking starting around 12am, multiple times throughout the night. This meant mama got no sleep whatsoever. And that meant mama was falling off the rails. 

Out of desperation, I called my pediatrician for advice on Saturday. New moms, if there's any one piece of advice you listen to from anyone, it's find a good pediatrician and follow only their advice! I love ours and she has counseled me through many a crazy time over the last few years. Anyways, she suggested first of all getting Ellie out of our room. And also suggested that most likely, she wasn't getting enough rest during the day, so it was interrupting her night time sleep. Sorry, one more piece of advice (or a mantra really): sleep begets sleep! The more they sleep, the better they sleep. It's so simple, yet can seem so ass backwards when you're exhausted. 

Anyways, the second I hung up with the doctor, I took apart Ellie's bed and kicked her out. Adly was kicked out of our room by 8 weeks because she was NOISY. She still is, she talks and sings in her sleep. But Ellie hardly ever made a peep. That and, the big reason was, her room is downstairs from us. Going back to the anxiety I've been dealing with, I was convinced that having her down there I'd still wake up and stress about something happening to her on another floor...so what was the point of moving her out?

Let me tell you, that at 11 weeks, 4 days, Eleanor Farrell slept through the night for the first time. Straight through. From 7pm until 6am. And when she awoke at 6am to eat, she promptly fell back asleep until 8:30am with her big sister chomping at the bit to get in and wake her up. This was also her first night in her own room. One can not explain the gloriousness that is a full night of sleep until you've been deprived of it for months on end. Of course, I didn't sleep the whole night. But I did sleep until almost 5am which was a hell of a lot better than what had been happening. And then the next night she slept even longer. Please, please let this trend continue! I honestly think she was actually having a hard time sleeping with us, as she appears to be a pretty light sleeper.

The pediatrician had also said to stop swaddling at this point. Her basic reason was in a month, Ellie will be starting to roll over and we'll have to unswaddle at that point, starting over this whole process of figuring out how to sleep. I had thought that swaddling was our savior with Ellie. But I think it was another thing that was hurting her sleep cycles. She's a wannabe thumbsucker at this point, and all the swaddling did was keep her from being able to suck her fist and self soothe at night. So it appears both things together were all she needed to finally get a full night of sleep.

Passed out in her new room while mama impatiently waits for her to wake up. 

My thumbsucking girlies.  

While Ellie has made some big leaps and bounds this past month, I cannot leave out the big accomplishments from her older sister. Adly has become a "big girl" this month by learning how to go potty on the big girl potty. This was a big accomplishment for not only herself but for me as well. I've thought for a while she might be "ready" but man is it a big undertaking to get your child to relieve themselves on a toilet. For many reasons, I was dreading it. But when other littles around us started jumping the diaper ship, I knew it was time to at least give it a grand ole try. Thanks to the constant on-demand advice of many other very wise mommies, we trudged through a few days at home buckled down asking the question that still comes out of my mouth consistently and probably will for the next few years "do you have to go potty!?" 

Adly has done amazingly well with the training. I am so unbelievably proud of her. My good friend (and personal life coach) Laura had passed on the wisdom from her own daughter's big girl events: that she felt it clicked for her when she could actually be proud of herself. And I think that's so true. Adly is truly proud of herself. Not only that, she gets how proud all of us are for her. And that in itself has provided so much intrinsic motivation throughout this process.

SO proud of herself at papa's house! 
(Girl moms: this jammie dress was a life saver for quick trips to the potty in the early days!)

But lets be honest. Adly is one smart cookie. The girl cannot only be motivated by confidence boosting applause and praise. No. She wants the goods. So, I will admit, for almost a week she lived off nothing but suckers and skittles and she received some presents as well. Whatever works, I have no shame. And two weeks in, we are still getting the occasional "I'm going to go pee-pee so I can get a sucker." (I mean, she had fully figured out she could pee a little, get a sucker and then when the sucker was gone, go back and pee some more to get another one.) However, as time goes on, I can see she is starting to understand the process of how going potty works and that you don't get a sucker every time you go. And while we've had complete success with number 1 on the potty, number 2 is still a major work in progress. I honestly think that before 3 years old, it just takes a good amount of time for everything to fully click for them when it comes to potty time.

Another big girl moment for the month was me going away for a girls weekend, leaving dad in charge for two whole days! This is something that was long overdue for all of us. I hadn't actually gone away on my own once since Adly came into the picture. Meaning, it had been almost 3 years. Far too long! My job has allowed me to cultivate some of the best friendships a girl could ask for, and for that I am forever grateful. Together, we enjoyed a quiet weekend away in Lake Geneva with a whole lot of lounging around, wine, and good girl conversation. I can't begin to explain how awesome it was, and how amazing it was to have Adam take the reigns and really let me relax. I can assure you it will not be three more years before I do that again.

So there we have it. Month three as a family of four had one little girl figuring out the gloriousness that is sleep, another little girl taking her biggest leap into the world of "big girls" and a mommy getting to also be just Kelly for a few days. And with that, I'm going to go hide in the corner and shed a few more tears for my sweet baby girls who are growing up too fast.

Ok, one more bit of celebration for myself this month. My second kid somewhat looks like me! I found baby pictures while I was home and immediately saw Ellie. It's about time I got a little something back for all that hard work called pregnancy and labor. However, I am happy that Ellie still carried on her father's plentiful locks and eyes, as I was bald until almost two.

2 months!

This past month flew by pretty quickly as the holidays came and went. Ellie had a great time getting to see all of her family in Michigan and Chicago over the various holidays. Turns out, as expected with her relaxed personality, she's a rockstar traveler so we are grateful for that! 

The best part of the past month was the development of smiles, which came on the first day of her 6th week here. Those smiles came in with a gusto and haven't stopped since. She is 100% a mama's girl and tends to give her best smiles for me. It makes my heart burst with love every time she erupts into another smile. Lately, she's been smiling to much she appears she's going to burst from excitement. The best thing ever. 

She's developing an interest in toys, slowly. She loves her playmat with dangly toys and usually spends her evenings there, with big sister Adly snuggling right next to her. Adly was very excited to see the infant toys come out and quickly commandeered them for herself. Sometimes she shares them with Ellie.

Ellie is still hard at work on her thumb. For now, the pacifier is still much needed. On occasion she'll figure out her thumb and suck away. I'll be interested to see how this continues as she gets older and more controlled with her hands.

Ellie continues to be a total blessing in our life. She is so easy going (I have no idea where this came from!) and pretty much goes with the flow every day. We are so grateful she completed our family!