Thankful. (Peanut Allergy Awareness)

For 8 years I've been in classrooms and taught how to use EpiPens...if the day ever came. I never believed I'd ever use one. For 3 years, I've had a daughter who tested positive for a peanut allergy with a component for severe anaphylaxis to occur if ever ingested. I still never thought I'd use one.

Finding out Adly had a peanut allergy via a scratch test at 11 months old was a bummer for sure. However, I don't think either of us fully understood the gravity of the diagnosis. Yes, she now had a peanut allergy and it was going to make our life a little more difficult. But I didn't want that to stop us from living as normal people. I didn't want to be that overbearing mom I've seen plenty of times who refused to let my child "live" at restaurants, parties, and play dates. Plus, beyond a few spots on her face, I had never seen any type of reaction regarding peanuts. It is such an abstract diagnosis that it can be hard to fully comprehend the severity of it. Your child gets pricked with a needle yearly, some blood is drawn, and weeks later your notified over the phone whether the allergy is still present and the severity of it. As of age two, with the blood test results, we were told the following: Adly tested positive on a level 2 out of 4 in severity. However, she has a component within the allergy that identifies to present itself through anaphylaxis if ingested, which therefore makes it that much more serious.

We have been diligent about any food products we buy at home and making sure she always has her EpiPen on hand wherever we go. We make sure everyone close to us knows about the allergy, we inform any caretakers and send her to a peanut-free school with EpiPens. Because that is what you're told to do. But truthfully, I never really thought she'd ever be in a situation where she might have any kind of severe reaction. Because we're careful. 

This weekend, we were invited to a neighbors first birthday party where we didn't know anyone. We were both excited at the prospect of meeting new people with kids in our neighborhood. It was a hustle and bustle kind of night, trying to talk to and meet everyone while chasing around our wild one year old and simultaneously keeping an eye on our 3 year old. It was at that party that my very smart and knowledgeable daughter ate two Reese's peanut butter bell candies, across the room from us, with another little girl. In the final seconds of the act, Adam happened to notice Adly chewing something.

Neither girl would admit to eating anything. Adam smelled peanut butter on her breath. It was only after some coaxing that I was able to get the wrapper from the other little girl. My heart sank to my feet when I carefully unballed the red foil to read "Reese's". We looked at her, she was fine. No grabbing her neck because she couldn't breathe, no redness, no hives; all of which I had expected to happen were we ever in this situation. For the next 10 minutes we held our breath at the party, trying to remain calm. No symptoms. Maybe she wasn't even really allergic, I kept telling myself.

"Maybe she didn't even eat it," I hopefully said to a dad who was sitting near the girls. "No, she definitely did," he confirmed.

After some back and forth we decided to leave and go back home to observe her. There, we peppered her with questions. She was over it; tired and annoyed. She wouldn't answer us. "Do you feel itchy? Does your throat feel weird? Does your tummy hurt?" Lets be honest, does a toddler really know how to answer those questions? Probably not. But in that moment, it was all I could do to keep myself sane. 10 minutes later. She's going to be fine. It was just a fluke, Maybe she really didn't even eat it. She KNOWS she's allergic to peanuts. She KNOWS to ask before she eats.

10 more minutes. Call the pediatrician, they can tell me its all just a fluke and it will go away. There were still no visible symptoms, but she had started coughing. I made the call. Left a voicemail on the emergency line in which they respond within 20 minutes. Two minutes later, our pediatrician called back, asking for a rundown of what had happened.

The pediatrician stated with a firmness and urgency I'll never forget: "Get the EpiPen and administer immediately. Then get to the ER as fast as possible. I know you don't see much now, but when it happens, the reaction is going to come fast."

I hung up the phone. Walked to the bathroom like a robot and instructed Adam to pull her pants down. I pulled out the EpiPen that was in its trusty spot. I scanned the instructions, walking to the living room. I popped the cap. I held her thigh. I stabbed. She screamed. Adam and I counted out loud over her screams, "one one thousand, two one thousand..." I lost it, sobbing through the counting. Time slowed to a halt. 10 seconds in the thigh.

And then it was over. Just like that. I dried my own tears and went back into robot mode. Move the cars, I thought. I ran outside with no coat, moving Adams snow covered car blindly into the street. I ran in and got our other car keys, hearing Adly screaming at the top of her lungs. Brush off the car, warm up the car. Go, go, go....

All this time I had been thinking Adam would take her to ER and I would stay behind with Ellie. He is the calm one who knows how to handle these situations far better than I. However, I've been the one to handle her allergies, take her to her yearly summer allergist appointment and receive the EpiPen education. After a quick back and forth it was decided I should go. To the car. Go, go, go....

On the 13 minute drive to the hospital we hit every.single.light. Adly began declining rapidly in the car. She was talking nonsense and continuing to attempt to pass out. Like a robot, I'd shake her leg and make her tell me a story. Like a robot, I was complaining about the lights. "We should've taken a f*!king ambulance", I muttered at a light. I heard Adly quietly remind me from the backseat, "it's going to be ok mama." Of course. My beyond her years daughter could speak so wisely, yet she couldn't remember in that moment to NOT EAT THE CANDY. Why?? Because she's three. She's still a baby. My baby.

When we finally raced into the ER driveway and I got her out, I was shocked. She was mumbling, beet red red, and swollen. There was a line at the sign-in and all I remember is shouting about how she was in anaphylactic shock and needed to get in to get another shot. The receptionist grabbed us and led us back into the triage where they immediately got to work. Suddenly my baby was being stabbed in her other leg, IV going in her hand, mask on her face. She was screaming and crying inconsolably. The doctor came in and that is when I slipped from robot mom into ohmygodwhatishappening mom and lost it. I couldn't even compose myself to explain the details of what had happened.

 About an hour after being admitted to hospital. 

It wasn't for another few hours that the symptoms began to subside. She had eaten a good amount and they needed to keep her overnight to continue observing. It is common for the reaction to take hold again even hours after exposure, because of the fat content in peanuts. Thankfully, by morning and after a lot of drugs, she was completely back to her old self.

 Showing her handy dandy IV holder pad. 

 Checking out the snow the next morning from our room. 

Playing with her new Barbie our sweet nurse gave her in the morning. Fully recovered.

In the days since that awful night, we've done a lot of reflecting and talking between Adam and I and with Adly. A few days later, it came out in conversation with her that she actually had asked the little girl if it had nuts. She really did know what to say. But of course, what does an unknowing three year old answer to that? "There's no nuts. You're fine. Here you go, eat it."  For all that little girl knew, she was being nice to Adly and sharing her candy. To any other child without allergies, they know nothing about nuts and the danger of them. The bottom line is, so much education is required when it comes to these allergies, and sometimes, it's just not enough.

I wanted to share our experience to provide a helpful reminder to those with allergies especially during the holiday season. These allergies are serious, and can be life threatening. If you know your child has an allergy, do your best to assess all types of food available when going to gatherings. This is one of the things I always do. But on this particular night, I didn't. I saw random candies laid out carefully in pretty bowls and never stopped to personally remind Adly she couldn't eat them.

Adly experienced what is called a latent reaction. This reaction works its way from the inside out and therefore takes time to show any visible symptoms. Meanwhile, its wreaking havoc internally on the body. I often get asked how we even discovered she was allergic to peanuts. Common signs of any allergic reactions (and what we first experienced at 11 months) are red splotchy spots around the mouth. Any noticeable irritation after eating a certain food. We treated immediately with a dose of Benedryl and she was fine. It is important to note that reactions get worse the more times a person is exposed. Therefore, at 11 months, Adly's first exposure, the reaction was minimal. Fast forward two more years and it was life threatening.

We've now purchased Adly this bracelet she will wear day and night for as long as I can force her to. It was something I had considered buying but for whatever reason never did. No, this wouldn't have stopped that little girl from telling Adly the candy she wanted to give her didn't have nuts. But maybe it would've notified a parent who was standing closer than we were. Just maybe. Our child is very quickly leaving our very protective nest of safety, entering school, play dates, playgrounds, and gatherings where we can't keep our eye on her every little move. I can only hope she continues to be protected from any more incidents.

Ever since Thanksgiving, Adly has loved to randomly ask what I'm thankful for. Yes, we could have done a lot of things differently but I think if anything, I'm thankful we now know just how serious it is. I'm thankful we caught her eating it. I'm thankful we had the EpiPen. I'm thankful we have responsive pediatricians, no matter the day or hour. I'm thankful for the ER staff who knew what to do right away to make her better.

But above all else, I'm thankful my sweet girl is still here with us today.

Dating While Married.

Last night, I had Adly's preschool orientation. I know. It's here. My oldest baby is officially off to school. And because I can't handle my emotions, I chose to attend the orientation instead of the first day. I was starting to regret that decision. I mean, I'm her mom. I should obviously be there for the first day, right?!! Only, as I sat in the classroom listening to her teacher tell us all the amazing things she's going to be doing and learning this year, I caught sight of something with her name on it. My mind quickly wandered off to the first time we met and when she seemed so small and life was so, so hard. And how we got through that together and how she grew into this amazing, caring little being who is now my ultimate sidekick. And as these thoughts came rushing in, so did the tears. I continued to turn around "looking", trying to dry my tears before any parents could notice the crazy mom who couldn't control her emotions.

Thankfully, in between my awkward stares at the floor and all around the room trying to choke back tears, I caught sight of this mom who gave me a knowing glace and a smile. Of course, I did the awkward smile back and then immediately had to check over my shoulder to make sure I wasn't mistaken and she was actually smiling at her BFF standing behind me. 

Luckily for me, she was looking at me. As we all quietly shuffled to the next room I made some random comment toward her and her husband about being emotionally unstable about my 3 year old entering pre-k and how I, of all people as a teacher, should know she's going to be JUST fine. She replied that she too was a teacher and her first daughter was also starting in the three year old program. My heart began to flutter at the possibility. A new mom friend?! Could it be? No, no it's too good to be true. 

I calmed myself down as we went room to room. As we toured the school, we kept bumping into each other at each stop and continued to find more things in common. She has a 9 month old girl too. She commutes for her job. She was exhausted last night after a long day with her students. And she was so nice! 

After an hour and a half of draining emotional turmoil, I headed out into the cool night. My new "friend" and her husband stepped out the same time I did as we talked about the first day. I knew I had to go for it, but man it is so scary. What if I was rejected? What if she really didn't like me? What if she already has enough friends? What if she doesn't like to pound wine after a long week? (I quickly shooed that idea away though, I mean, come on...she's a teacher!)

As we were awkwardly saying our goodbye's I stammered out the official ask. "So, can I have your number?" 

I mean, that's seriously what I said. Because I have issues. But can you blame me? I left the comfort of my city four months ago, and besides the one mom I stalked on the walk to the car repair shop, I haven't met any new moms! 

Thankfully, she excitedly (I think...or maybe it was just my excitement that made me think she was excited) replied that she would love to exchange numbers and get together with our kids. We then had a great laugh about how awkward it was that her husband was there while I was trying to ask his wife out. Now that I think about it, I sure hope they understood my humor.....

Meeting new mom friends is absolutely like dating. Except you're sober. And there's usually crazy kids running around interrupting your conversations. It usually takes a few hang outs to decide whether your ideals, child raising tactics and drinking preferences mesh. And if all of the above match, then you've definitely found yourself a lifelong friend. You're almost guaranteed to be friends no matter what when your children's ages/sexes match up as well. 

I'm not yet sure where this newfound friendship will go. But I'm excited for what it may become. We've exchanged our first obligatory texts. Since I made the first move, I'm going to wait until after the first day of school to text again. Hopefully she responds and we actually get to have our first official "date", kids and all. 

3 Years.

And just like that, we have a 3 year old.

A sweet, smiley, curious, smart, funny three year old who loves to pretend, sing, run, jump, and make her little sister laugh.

This past year was a huge one for Adly. Her biggest accomplishment was potty training. She rocked it. She also moved into a big girl bed. Lucky for us, she still has yet to climb out of it at night. 

At 3, Adly can almost count to 15. She has an impeccable photographic memory. I'm still dumbfounded as to where that comes from. This has allowed her to "read" her favorite books by memory. She can spell Adly. She knows she is now three and that her birthday is in July.

Her days revolve around pretend play, and I'm always amazed at the things she comes up with. Almost daily she wakes up as a different animal. She may be a gazelle, a black cheetah, a dog, a kitty...basically anything that comes from a book or a TV show. She will read books and pretend to feed you from whatever is in the book. Or food can come from colors on a beach ball. It's all in the pretend for Adly.

Pretend play also carries over into dressing up. Adly still loves wearing her princess dresses, old Halloween costumes, etc. Basically anything she can get her hands on. She'll often ask to be announced as whomever she is in that moment when she enters a room.

Some weird things I have to note this year are the lining up of things. Anyone else's kid do that? We've literally started to know when she's been somewhere, merely by seeing things lined up. She lines up her animals, letter on the fridge, books....really anything that's moveable. Another oddity
that's developed is her incessant need to carry 5 toys with her EVERYWHERE. These items follow her to the car, room to room, to the store....you name it, she's got a handful of random toys. Her go-to's are Bubble Kitty, Bubble Puppy, and a picture book.

Adly began to love movies this year, mostly by force when her sister came. Her favorites are Madagascar, Mr. Horton Hears a Who and Frozen. TV show favorites are still Bubble Guppies, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and Lion Guard.

Adly's also stepping into 3 by testing the waters to see exactly what she can get away with. She is very smart, almost too smart and I often find myself saying you know what you're supposed to be doing....so do it. Time out has worked for us all through the the terrible two's which thankfully weren't too terrible for us. Almost the day after she turned 3, I noticed an immediate switch to saying things like "I want it RIGHT.Noooow!" and "Please, please pleeeeeease mama!". I don't know where these whiney habits came from.

This September, Adly will be starting preschool three days a week. My feelings about it ebb and flow. She's more than ready. But the thought of my baby going to school under someone else's charge just makes me so sad for some reason! I took her to tour it the other day. She woke up from nap that day and said, "mama you can just take me back to preschool and drop me off now." (Cue the sobs.)

Adly also became a big sister this year. She truly handled it like a rockstar and, best of all, she really adores her title sister. I hope their love for each other always stays this way. Of course, "sharing" is VERY hard, but for now, Ellie couldn't care less. Adly is Ellie's number one fan. She makes Ellie giggle and helps me every day to entertain her. They're already developing their own language. I know Adly is counting the days and minutes until Ellie can finally "play" with her.

Over the last year, my shy, timid little girl has blossomed into an outgoing, observant big girl. She seems to have no fear at the park. She walks up to kids at the park and says, hi! She knows what she wants and she isn't afraid to say it. She falls and (most of the time) jumps up right away and says, "I'm alright!" However, if a boo-boo warrants a band-aid, cue the dramatics!

Adly begins her third year in suburbia. She seems to love the transition so far and is loving her backyard. She misses our old park and talks about it a lot. But more than anything, I think she is loving the space she has.

Here are some things Adly loves going into 3:
Favorite Food: Waffles...umm wait no tacos!
Favorite Color: purple....uhh no! Its pink.
Favorite TV show: Bubble Guppies and Horton Hears a Who
Favorite thing to do at the park: Slide down somewhere
Favorite Animal: cow
Favorite Toy: Bubble Kitty
Favorite Book: Leo the Late Bloomer

With that, we enter into the world of three. To my fun-loving, strong-headed first born: mama loves you to pieces. I can't wait to see you continue to grow and blossom as a three-year-old!

The Life of an Almost 3 year old...

I've been so terrible about updating this blog. Life has gotten so in the way, it is very rare I find time anymore to sit down and let my thoughts flow.

However, lately, I find myself watching Adly and wanting so desperately to hold on to so many moments in this stage. There is no doubt that there are days I want to pull my hair out from the incessant "why" questions and the non-stop talking. But there are also some really crazy moments that happen right now that have made me stop in my tracks and really try to soak them in.

The other day, Adam had taken the girls to the park when I got home from work. I went over to meet them and found Adam walking Ellie trying to get her to nap. Adly was off running around so I went over to meet her. I was immediately struck by how much she had grown over the winter. Here was this confident, outgoing girl who was running here and there, climbing with ease and giggling like crazy. When she noticed I was there, she happened to be sitting up on a ledge, about 3 feet off the ground. She motioned for me to come over to her.

When I got there, she explained she needed to get down but was scared. I told her she could jump, it wasn't that high. She immediately went into her shell, got all quiet and said she couldn't do it. So I told her I'd "help" her. My version of help was that I was going to fake hold her and let her do it on her own. I'm that kind of mean mom. Sure enough, when she jumped and I failed to hold her, she survived! And what's more, she realized she really could do it. What followed for the next 15 minutes was Adly excitedly climbing up, asking me to watch her, saying she wasn't sure she could do it, jumping, and then giggling and beaming with pride at her accomplishments.

I, of course, couldn't stop tearing up. It was such a small moment of confidence building that for whatever reason, has stuck with me since it happened. These moments are so fleeting, and it just so happened to capture innocence of my first born that is quickly slipping away with each day.

This past week, we closed on our new house and on the same day looked at preschools. I have literally been counting the days to preschool. Adly so desperately needs social interaction with other kids, and I know it will be a great experience for her. However, at the end of the first tour, I started tearing up and then could not stop the tears! I know. I was that mom! And to think, I work in schools! But I can't even begin to explain the rush of emotions that overcame me when I realized my baby girl really is growing up. Soon she will be one of many in a class, listening to a teacher, learning social norms, and having to problem-solve, all without her mama there to help. (Cue the sobs!)

She has recently started telling me she loves me. Like, really telling me. For the longest time, you'd tell Adly you loved her and she'd reply with "thank you." Now there are days when I come home from work and she looks me in the eye and says, "Mama, I was worried about you today. I want you to know I love you." She'll watch me leave in the mornings and Adam will text me saying she said, "Mama is so pretty. I'm really going to miss her today. I'm going to pray for her." She doesn't only do this with me. She's also begun telling Adam she loves him, as well as other family members. And the best, my favorite, is when I say goodnight, she always says, "goodnight mama. I love you!"

Her imagination is running insanely wild. These days, she wakes up as anything ranging from a gazelle to a pony to a doggie. She always announces in the morning what she is by saying things like, "the gazelle is happy to see you today!" And from there on out, for the rest of the day, you will be informed on what the gazelle is doing and what the gazelle would like.

While Adly's speech is quite amazing, there are a few things she says incorrectly that I don't want to forget because it is so gosh darn cute.
-pur-rayers (prayers) "Mama, can we say our pur-rayers tonight?"
-spice (slice) "One spice of pizza for you!"
-seer-e-up (syrup) "Can I have more seer-e-up please?"

Adly thrives on the moments when just her and I get to have alone time. Her favorite thing is when I can time Ellie's nap with Adly's and can usually get Adly first. This gives her and I some much needed one on one time. I'll climb into bed with her and we'll pretend (for as long as I can take it), to cook cupcakes, pancakes, bacon, and ice cream cones. We take orders like we're in a restaurant and then bake the foods and serve it to each other. She never wants these moments to end and oftentimes, it leaves me realizing how little she gets all of my attention any more.

Having two is hard. I don't know how moms have more and where they find the energy to cater to all the kids. I feel stretched thin on a regular basis and no doubt have major moments of stress, anxiety, and frustration. Sometimes, all of the above at once. But these memorable moments help make it all worth the hard times. I'm really trying hard to hold on to the meaningful moments and move on quickly from the tough ones. Sometimes thats easy, sometimes it takes a lot of complaining and wine.

Adly turns three in July and I just can't even wrap my head around how we got this far so fast. I feel like I'm going to blink and she'll be six. For now, I'm continuing to try to slow down and soak in all the greatness that this age brings. (And take deeper breaths when all the craziness of this age wants to make me disappear to a foreign country). 

Love you, my sweet pea. 

Miss Manners

A while back, Adam began to make it his mission to get Adly to start saying things like "please" and "thank you". I think that manners are SUPER important and I can tell you from experience that it is very easy to spot children who come from homes where politeness is considered important.

However I can't say I fully agreed with enforcing it so early. I'm not sure why, I guess I just didn't think it would stick yet, so why bother? Thankfully Adam is in charge over the winter, so he began enforcing it on his own while home with Adly. 

His biggies were to say "please" when asking for things-not just demanding. Say "thank you" when someone gives you something and say "bless you" when someone sneezes. Simple enough. 

Ironically, these small phrases began to stick pretty quickly. She especially took to saying "bless you!" after someone sneezes which, while polite, is also beyond adorable.

The other day as we were driving I sneezed a few times. When I was done I hear "Bless you mama!" from the backseat. I mean, come on. When I hand her things now, I usually get a "tank you mama" or when asking for things she usually adds on a "pleeeease". 

While she uses these phrases pretty regularly, I know that she still needs time to fully understand the meaning of being polite. Recently we had a dinner conversation that went like this:

Adly: Mama get a pancakes please.

Me: I don't have pancakes.

A: Mama get a pancakes please.

Me: Adly, I don't have pancakes.

A: Mama MAKE a pancakes please.

Me: I can't make you pancakes.

A: (growing frustrated, furrowing her brows, deep breath)

A: Mama make a pancakes! I SAID please!!

Here is where some more understanding of the word "please" might've helped out the situation. See, some days Adly decides to act like a finicky royal highness toddler at mealtimes and demands any other kind of food that isn't on her plate. This was one of those instances. Of course, I being the mean mom that I am, refuse to give her anything other than what is offered. But in this case, she was very frustrated and confused as to why she couldn't get the pancakes because, after all, she said please!

In an unintentional way, another use of "polite words" has entered Adly's vocabulary. These days I find that when she is annoyed by me touching her, or being in her way, she'll say, "I'm sorry mama". And move whatever is in her way. The other day we were on the couch next to each other, so naturally I put my tender loving arm around her. Apparently, this annoyed her and she immediately moved my arm off of her as she said, "I'm sorry, mama." Sometimes she'll move into my territory and decide she doesn't like something, only to move it saying, "I'm sorry, mama." Like when she came blasting through the house pushing her baby stroller and ran into my legs. She stated, "I'm sorry mama." But not because she was sorry she ran into me, because she was sorry I was in the way. So in other words, it was a "get out of my way!" type of sorry. This phrase always makes me laugh when she uses it in these situations. 

I love how people in the South use ma'am and sir to address adults, yet I don't think it fully fits in with our Northern nasally dialect. Therefore, using simple words like please and thank you have been our way to make sure we feel appreciated on some level throughout the day. And it's working! So I guess it never really is too early to try enforcing those small, yet very meaningful words. 

ER Initiations

I think that every parent needs to be initiated into parenthood by some sort of emergency room visit. That, or some episode that scares the living shit out of you enough to remind you that these toddlers are still just babies and anything can happen in the blink of an eye. Until then, you really haven't lived as a "parent".

A few weeks ago, we received our initiation. After moving, things were everywhere. After moving, I also had some insane bouts of insomnia and a cold. Fun times. Before heading back to work on Sunday, I wanted to make sure I actually slept, so I put a bottle of Nyquil by my bed in the event I woke up in another coughing fit. Thankfully, I slept the entire night through just fine.

The next day I was at school teaching when Adam called. He's at home with Adly still and I thought it was weird that he was calling knowing I was at work. There was another teacher in my room at the time so I ran out into the hallway to answer. Adam didn't have good news.

Adly had gotten into the Nyquil on my nightstand in the matter of a minute Adam had walked around the corner. She had it in her mouth and down her shirt. To start, Adam called poison control. They recommended to immediately head to the ER, because any amount she drank could have serious consequences.

After I hung up, I went right back to teaching, convincing myself she'd be fine. She was in good hands. She wasn't at a daycare or with a sitter, she was with her dad. I went through the next 30 minutes until lunch as normal. When I got to lunch I kept texting Adam, who was at the ER already, for updates. He had no answers other than that it was definitely starting to effect Adly and that they were running a lot of tests.

All normal, considering the situation, I thought. Then came the news they'd need to keep her for another 3-4 hours to continue monitoring her. He didn't have her blankie or any bottle or food for her. I knew I had to get there. There was some sort of unnerving feeling as a mom that I just had to be there for her. My baby was in a hospital. How could I not? My boss was amazing and worked it out for me to leave within minutes. I ran home, got Adly's favorite things and headed to see them.

As I went to the hospital, my mind was racing with questions. I just couldn't figure out how she had gotten into the the bottle in the first place. Had I not screwed the cap on tight? Is she a superwoman? Maybe she's an extraordinarily talented toddler and has a super skill for opening bottles. It just didn't make sense to me how a toddler could get into a childproofed medicine bottle. Because, after zillions of lawsuits, aren't all medicine bottles childproofed these days?

When I got there, Adly was out of it, tired, with super red cheeks. They asked me how much was in the bottle before she got to it...but who ever pays attention to that? She doesn't know how to drink out of a cup, so that was a good thing. We just couldn't fathom she had actually swallowed that much. Shortly after I arrived to the hospital, Adly started coming around to her normal self again as the effects of the medicine began to wear off.

We thought we were home free and would be fine to take her home finally. This was when the doctor came in to deliver the news that the next step was to test for Tylenol poisoning. Tylenol, which can cause severe liver damage in small doses for little ones, is apparently in NyQuil. To test her levels, they had to run an IV. By now, we've seen plenty of shots be stabbed into our sweet little girl for her regular vaccinations. But nothing can prepare you for watching them be stuck with an IV needle. (Ok, I still have to turn my head when I get stuck for things...so maybe needles are a little rough for me in general). They wrapped her up in a swaddle-burrito with just her arm hanging out. We kept telling her they were going to do tests on her. She kept looking at us with wide eyes saying, "Adly tests. Adly tests." I held my phone in front of her with her beloved Peppa Pig playing to distract her while they poked her. She didn't scream or cry. There were only big tears falling from her eyes as she looked at me like "why are they hurting me mama?" Of course, I was sobbing. Then within seconds she was totally fine, while I had to take some time to recollect myself. My toddler is way stronger than I.

As we waited, we also got the delivered the super embarrassing, yet mandatory, lecture on medicine and children. We do keep all medicine in a cabinet above the sink. This was obviously a fluke incident and a moment of absentmindedness from myself. Still, it's hard to hear someone remind you of these simple steps and not feel like you failed as a parent in some way. The ER doctor had asked me to bring in the bottle of medicine with me so she could examine it. As soon as she got it into her hands she twisted it off. Turns out, to my shock and utter disbelief, not all medicines are childproof. How on earth this is plausible still boggles my mind. I guess I had become accustomed to the notion that all were treated the same, and therefore had never even considered it a possibility that a cap might simply twist off. 

Thankfully, the tests came back low and so we were cleared for release soon after. It was a scary day and hopefully our last visit to the ER for a while. As parents, there is nothing worse than sitting helplessly next to your sick child. Clearly, I married Adam for a reason. He is the sanity to my insanity in these kinds of moments. Always looking at the positive outcomes, while I, ever the realist always think the worst. I'm so grateful it was him at home with Adly during all of this. He who had the clear mind to take responsible action calmly and quickly, whereas I would've been sobbing, panicking, and running around like a madwoman.

It is also not lost on me that we were the lucky ones. Our ER visit was short and ended fine. I've come to follow a few journeys of toddlers from my home state who are battling horrific cancers or terminal illnesses. How do those children deal with the pain every day? And their parents. The strength they have is inspirational. This job called parenting sometimes finds a way to show you just how weak you can be, or how strong you actually are, when you least expect it.

Snuggles with mama and her beloved nye-nye. 

Do you likey my dress?

When it smacked me in the face that my "big girl" is still such a small baby. Tear. 

A Whole New World...

A few weeks ago, Adly and I were out walking at dusk when she saw the moon in the sky. It was her first connection from everyone's favorite childhood book Goodnight Moon to the real world. She has been obsessed ever since.

We were headed to up north Wisconsin the day after she discovered the moon, so she had plenty of opportunities to see the moon in the clear northern sky while we were there. Since then, at random times throughout the day she'll say "moon! moon!" and run to the window to see if she can see it. We've come up with some inventive ways to explain why the moon isn't always there. Some are: it's taking a nap, it went to work, it went to play...you get the point.

While fostering her love of the moon and peering out our windows, she has also discovered she can see and hear planes flying by, heading to O'hare. This is something all of us had taken for granted and I was shocked when I heard her at the window with her dad saying "plaaaane! plane!" I thought for sure there was no way she could see and/or hear a plane. I mean, we had never noticed. Sure enough, there are planes buzzing by throughout the day. Some near and very large, others far away and smaller. Either way, she has been obsessed with sitting at the window looking for the planes in the daytime and the lights on the planes in the dark. She'll sit at the dinner table and whisper, "Listen (yeeesen). Plaaanes. Listen. Heed it. (hear it)". And then with big eyes she stares out the window for a glimpse of a plane.

How incredible it is, to see the realization happening that there are so many bigger things out there in this world of ours.

18 months!

Oh my. We're a year and a half into this parenting business and couldn't be happier. Guess what. I get it now. I'm in on the secret. Now I know why parents choose to do this all over again. Because at this point, you just forget. You forget all the sleepless nights and the crying and the stress and the anxiety. Suddenly you're more on top of things more than you aren't. Suddenly things make sense day after day and you have a grasp on who these little beings are. This is by far the best stage we've been through together. She's a little human being! She's so fun! She's funny!

At 18 months, Adly has begun speaking in phrases. Some are completely understandable, others need mom or dad to translate, and others are just plain babble. But either way, it has propelled our conversations and understanding of each other big time. Some of the most common phrases are: "I like it", "I don't like it", "Ohhhh boy!", "That's awesome",  and "I'm done now". Adly is also starting to understand using "I" as herself. She's trying out how to use it in sentences when I say things like, "you go get it" she'll respond with "I go get it" instead of mimicking what I said.

My little mini-me also continues to mimic and copy just about everything I do. She sweeps the floor after I do, she picks up around the house behind me, and she cooks like I do. Adlys aunt Nora and uncle Steve got Adly a kitchen for Christmas. Her papa Dan and Tata got her some plastic foods and I picked up a metal cooking set. All of these combined have helped to advance her love of imaginative cooking play. She cooks around the house or in the kitchen as I do. Anytime she can, she's up working next to me as I cook. It's the cutest thing ever.  

She's demonstrating her independence more and more by saying "no" when she doesn't want to do or eat something. However, at this point in time it's really just cute. She says it really demurely in a high pitched voice but also matter of factly, just a quick "no." 

Her love of playing hide and seek has come through this month as well. She had a blast in Door County with her aunt Ra Ra chasing her saying "I'm gonna get you!" Adly giggled non-stop at being chased and being the chaser for this game yelling "I getchuuuu". Around the house, she loves to "hide" (stand out in the open around the corner) and for you to come get her. She also calls out for you if you don't find her fast enough, so clearly we're still developing the concept of hiding. 

We traveled a TON during the month of November and December. While it's definitely getting harder to do with Adly, technology, mama in the backseat, and books helped to make it more bearable. I'm hoping as she gets older, the sleeping in the car thing gets easier. 

Lastly, Adly continues to grow height-wise and is back in the 98th percentile for height. She is a champion teether and pushed through her two top canines this month without us knowing. I hope the bottom two are just as easy. After that we're done with teeth until her last four two-year old molars come in.

I swear it feels like I blinked and suddenly this little lady was in front of me. What an amazing winter break we had together! Here are some pics from our NYE vacation up in Door County, WI.

 Giggles with dada. 

 The newly engaged. 

 You just can't beat this view. 

 Breakfast with uncle Seve!

 Piggy braids thanks to Aunt Ra Ra!

 Soooo big!

 Trying so hard for a smile. 

 Look at those teefers!

 Playing with slinky. 

 Sweatpants NYE party!

 With the hubs. 

Uncle Steve and Aunt Ra Ra!

16 Months

As time is flying by, Adly is also quickly growing into a big girl by the day. It is crazy to see her changing as she gets bigger and bigger. At her 15 month appointment, Adly measured in at 25 pounds and 32 inches long. She's blown through her 18 month old clothes and is now wearing mostly 2T. 2T! What?! My baby is my baby no more.

Speaking of baby, this month's biggest phase has been a spurt in the development of imaginative play. A while back, our pediatrician had recommended getting Adly a "baby" doll. I didn't think much of it until one day, out of desperation, I picked one up to help avert her from hitting mommy. I used baby to show her how to be gentle and not hit. That worked like a charm and baby has now evolved into her own "baby". She mimics the things I do with her, laying baby down and putting a blankie on baby saying "nye nye". She also feeds baby pretend food and today gave baby "medicine". (The medicine was her putting the nasal spray up to the baby's nose like she's been getting during this recent cold).

Cooking has also been a big part of her imaginative play. After purchasing some cooking supplies from the dollar store, she is loving to "cook" and tell us what she's cooking for us. This has also carried over into her meals. She loves naming all of the food items she's eating before she eats it. Our meals usually consist of saying "milk" (drinks milk), "fishies" (eats a bite of fish), "peeeeas" (eats a pea), "apple" (eats pear). You get the point. It's amusing to see her list and name the things she's intaking.

At 16 months Adly has also really become mama's little mini me. She is more interested than ever in what mama is doing at all times of the day. She follows around behind me wherever I go in the house, always clinging or sticking close to my legs. As I get ready in the morning she stands and looks through my closet, sighing and repeating what I say. I've learned I say "ummmm!" and "hmm, let's see" quite a bit, as that is what I keep hearing from my shadow! Despite the fact I've tripped over the little human nipping at my heels many times lately, I have to admit it is something amazing to have your little one be so interested in what you are doing all day.

A few weeks ago, we got the cutest "ooooh man!" from Adly when the three of us were pretending to put baby to bed together. During this session of play, Adly suddenly stood up, leaned up against our bed and then dropped herself slowly to the ground sighing and saying "ohhh, man!" like she was beyond exhausted from a hard days' work. It was the cutest thing she's done to date and of course, she hasn't done it since.

Lastly, this month can't go by without mention of Adly's first Halloween and the most perfect costume ever. Our cow-obsessed child got to become one with the cow this year. She mooed her little heart out (when she felt like it of course) and owned that cow costume. We went to multiple Halloween events so she got to wear the costume over and over again, which still wasn't enough for this cow. No, the cow has even made a few more post-Halloween appearances because, who ever said you need a holiday to dress as a cow?

Playing in the leaves. 

I'll only wear hair pretties for aunt Ra-Ra!

 Going for a "alk" with mama!

I'm a cow!

Pals, 15 months strong. 

PNO: Parents Night Out!

Modeling with mama's scarf. 

Bundled up for walks in the cold.