Thankful. (Peanut Allergy Awareness)

For 8 years I've been in classrooms and taught how to use EpiPens...if the day ever came. I never believed I'd ever use one. For 3 years, I've had a daughter who tested positive for a peanut allergy with a component for severe anaphylaxis to occur if ever ingested. I still never thought I'd use one.

Finding out Adly had a peanut allergy via a scratch test at 11 months old was a bummer for sure. However, I don't think either of us fully understood the gravity of the diagnosis. Yes, she now had a peanut allergy and it was going to make our life a little more difficult. But I didn't want that to stop us from living as normal people. I didn't want to be that overbearing mom I've seen plenty of times who refused to let my child "live" at restaurants, parties, and play dates. Plus, beyond a few spots on her face, I had never seen any type of reaction regarding peanuts. It is such an abstract diagnosis that it can be hard to fully comprehend the severity of it. Your child gets pricked with a needle yearly, some blood is drawn, and weeks later your notified over the phone whether the allergy is still present and the severity of it. As of age two, with the blood test results, we were told the following: Adly tested positive on a level 2 out of 4 in severity. However, she has a component within the allergy that identifies to present itself through anaphylaxis if ingested, which therefore makes it that much more serious.

We have been diligent about any food products we buy at home and making sure she always has her EpiPen on hand wherever we go. We make sure everyone close to us knows about the allergy, we inform any caretakers and send her to a peanut-free school with EpiPens. Because that is what you're told to do. But truthfully, I never really thought she'd ever be in a situation where she might have any kind of severe reaction. Because we're careful. 

This weekend, we were invited to a neighbors first birthday party where we didn't know anyone. We were both excited at the prospect of meeting new people with kids in our neighborhood. It was a hustle and bustle kind of night, trying to talk to and meet everyone while chasing around our wild one year old and simultaneously keeping an eye on our 3 year old. It was at that party that my very smart and knowledgeable daughter ate two Reese's peanut butter bell candies, across the room from us, with another little girl. In the final seconds of the act, Adam happened to notice Adly chewing something.

Neither girl would admit to eating anything. Adam smelled peanut butter on her breath. It was only after some coaxing that I was able to get the wrapper from the other little girl. My heart sank to my feet when I carefully unballed the red foil to read "Reese's". We looked at her, she was fine. No grabbing her neck because she couldn't breathe, no redness, no hives; all of which I had expected to happen were we ever in this situation. For the next 10 minutes we held our breath at the party, trying to remain calm. No symptoms. Maybe she wasn't even really allergic, I kept telling myself.

"Maybe she didn't even eat it," I hopefully said to a dad who was sitting near the girls. "No, she definitely did," he confirmed.

After some back and forth we decided to leave and go back home to observe her. There, we peppered her with questions. She was over it; tired and annoyed. She wouldn't answer us. "Do you feel itchy? Does your throat feel weird? Does your tummy hurt?" Lets be honest, does a toddler really know how to answer those questions? Probably not. But in that moment, it was all I could do to keep myself sane. 10 minutes later. She's going to be fine. It was just a fluke, Maybe she really didn't even eat it. She KNOWS she's allergic to peanuts. She KNOWS to ask before she eats.

10 more minutes. Call the pediatrician, they can tell me its all just a fluke and it will go away. There were still no visible symptoms, but she had started coughing. I made the call. Left a voicemail on the emergency line in which they respond within 20 minutes. Two minutes later, our pediatrician called back, asking for a rundown of what had happened.

The pediatrician stated with a firmness and urgency I'll never forget: "Get the EpiPen and administer immediately. Then get to the ER as fast as possible. I know you don't see much now, but when it happens, the reaction is going to come fast."

I hung up the phone. Walked to the bathroom like a robot and instructed Adam to pull her pants down. I pulled out the EpiPen that was in its trusty spot. I scanned the instructions, walking to the living room. I popped the cap. I held her thigh. I stabbed. She screamed. Adam and I counted out loud over her screams, "one one thousand, two one thousand..." I lost it, sobbing through the counting. Time slowed to a halt. 10 seconds in the thigh.

And then it was over. Just like that. I dried my own tears and went back into robot mode. Move the cars, I thought. I ran outside with no coat, moving Adams snow covered car blindly into the street. I ran in and got our other car keys, hearing Adly screaming at the top of her lungs. Brush off the car, warm up the car. Go, go, go....

All this time I had been thinking Adam would take her to ER and I would stay behind with Ellie. He is the calm one who knows how to handle these situations far better than I. However, I've been the one to handle her allergies, take her to her yearly summer allergist appointment and receive the EpiPen education. After a quick back and forth it was decided I should go. To the car. Go, go, go....

On the 13 minute drive to the hospital we hit every.single.light. Adly began declining rapidly in the car. She was talking nonsense and continuing to attempt to pass out. Like a robot, I'd shake her leg and make her tell me a story. Like a robot, I was complaining about the lights. "We should've taken a f*!king ambulance", I muttered at a light. I heard Adly quietly remind me from the backseat, "it's going to be ok mama." Of course. My beyond her years daughter could speak so wisely, yet she couldn't remember in that moment to NOT EAT THE CANDY. Why?? Because she's three. She's still a baby. My baby.

When we finally raced into the ER driveway and I got her out, I was shocked. She was mumbling, beet red red, and swollen. There was a line at the sign-in and all I remember is shouting about how she was in anaphylactic shock and needed to get in to get another shot. The receptionist grabbed us and led us back into the triage where they immediately got to work. Suddenly my baby was being stabbed in her other leg, IV going in her hand, mask on her face. She was screaming and crying inconsolably. The doctor came in and that is when I slipped from robot mom into ohmygodwhatishappening mom and lost it. I couldn't even compose myself to explain the details of what had happened.

 About an hour after being admitted to hospital. 

It wasn't for another few hours that the symptoms began to subside. She had eaten a good amount and they needed to keep her overnight to continue observing. It is common for the reaction to take hold again even hours after exposure, because of the fat content in peanuts. Thankfully, by morning and after a lot of drugs, she was completely back to her old self.

 Showing her handy dandy IV holder pad. 

 Checking out the snow the next morning from our room. 

Playing with her new Barbie our sweet nurse gave her in the morning. Fully recovered.

In the days since that awful night, we've done a lot of reflecting and talking between Adam and I and with Adly. A few days later, it came out in conversation with her that she actually had asked the little girl if it had nuts. She really did know what to say. But of course, what does an unknowing three year old answer to that? "There's no nuts. You're fine. Here you go, eat it."  For all that little girl knew, she was being nice to Adly and sharing her candy. To any other child without allergies, they know nothing about nuts and the danger of them. The bottom line is, so much education is required when it comes to these allergies, and sometimes, it's just not enough.

I wanted to share our experience to provide a helpful reminder to those with allergies especially during the holiday season. These allergies are serious, and can be life threatening. If you know your child has an allergy, do your best to assess all types of food available when going to gatherings. This is one of the things I always do. But on this particular night, I didn't. I saw random candies laid out carefully in pretty bowls and never stopped to personally remind Adly she couldn't eat them.

Adly experienced what is called a latent reaction. This reaction works its way from the inside out and therefore takes time to show any visible symptoms. Meanwhile, its wreaking havoc internally on the body. I often get asked how we even discovered she was allergic to peanuts. Common signs of any allergic reactions (and what we first experienced at 11 months) are red splotchy spots around the mouth. Any noticeable irritation after eating a certain food. We treated immediately with a dose of Benedryl and she was fine. It is important to note that reactions get worse the more times a person is exposed. Therefore, at 11 months, Adly's first exposure, the reaction was minimal. Fast forward two more years and it was life threatening.

We've now purchased Adly this bracelet she will wear day and night for as long as I can force her to. It was something I had considered buying but for whatever reason never did. No, this wouldn't have stopped that little girl from telling Adly the candy she wanted to give her didn't have nuts. But maybe it would've notified a parent who was standing closer than we were. Just maybe. Our child is very quickly leaving our very protective nest of safety, entering school, play dates, playgrounds, and gatherings where we can't keep our eye on her every little move. I can only hope she continues to be protected from any more incidents.

Ever since Thanksgiving, Adly has loved to randomly ask what I'm thankful for. Yes, we could have done a lot of things differently but I think if anything, I'm thankful we now know just how serious it is. I'm thankful we caught her eating it. I'm thankful we had the EpiPen. I'm thankful we have responsive pediatricians, no matter the day or hour. I'm thankful for the ER staff who knew what to do right away to make her better.

But above all else, I'm thankful my sweet girl is still here with us today.

What's in your bag....Follow Up

Packing for the hospital was quite stressful for me. I remember being overwhelmed by the amount of information out there on what to take, what not to take, and then all the recommendations given to me by fellow mommies. In the end, I packed what I thought was what would work best for me, although I was still unsure.

First thing to note- your hospital is likely not too far from your house. Someone can ALWAYS go back for something. This never occurred to me until I was in the hospital. So here is what I would change, bring, not bring the next time I find myself in the delivery room.

-Rolling Suitcase. A girlfriend of mine recommended this. It was genius. Did it seem a little odd? Sure. But who the hell cares at that point. I know my husband loved it as he was following Adly and I to the Mommy and Me unit at 2 something a.m. with all of our crap. Additionally, you will steal EVERYTHING from your room. You want to have a little extra space to pilfer those precious items into. In fact, my nurse came in and told us to take everything from the baby cart. Diapers, wipes, panties, ice packs, pads. All a must have. 

-Robe/slippers. The slippers are an absolute must have. I used those the entire time I was in recovery at the hospital. The robe I put on after I showered the day I was being discharged. It served its purpose and I'll bring one next time because by then I wanted nothing to do with those awful hospital gowns.

-Toiletries. Great call. The hospital didn't offer any in my room, so I used everything I brought. This included shampoo, conditioner, soap, face wash, toothpaste and toothbrush.

-Makeup. Thinking back, I want to laugh at myself for putting a little rouge on after my shower the day of discharge. But honestly, I'd do it again. It helped me to feel like a human being again.

-Towel. Going off of the shower items, next time, I will bring my own towel. I know it's a hospital and it should be a germ free zone, but honestly you don't know where that towel has been. So I hated washing off all the grime and ick from delivery only to wrap myself in an itty bitty scratchy hospital towel. I think I honestly thought I wouldn't shower there. But I can't begin to tell you how nice it felt.

-Boppy. Bring whatever type of breastfeeding pillow you plan to use. I didn't bring this, but my MIL and SIL were kind enough to bring it by on the day after I delivered. It can also serve a dual purpose of keeping your torn undercarriage off of the rock hard bed you're sitting in. I wish I had thought of that while I was there. That idea came to me once I got home and could barely sit without wincing in pain.

-Pillows. I love to sleep on a few pillows. Our pillows in the room were flat as pancakes. This only adds to your inability to sleep. Next time, I will take every precaution to ensure I get a good nights' sleep by bringing one or two of my own. Because that's going to be the last time I get some shut eye in for a loooooong time.

-Granny Panties. You may remember that I went out and bought some super sexy, reliable cotton briefs in a larger size prior to delivery. Best purchase ever! However, not for the hospital. You will wear nothing but the stretchy, meshy hospital boy shorts. Believe me, those are all you'll want to wear. There's blood everywhere and those do a bang up job of holding in the massive diaper pad you wear. I never touched my own undies while in the hospital. But have no fear, they are all I wore for the entire 6 weeks after. Why ruin your good panties?

-Clothes for Baby. I would still bring a variety of sizes for the newbie as you learn in our case, when the doctor yells out "that's a biiiig baby!" as she pulls her out, you don't know how big they're going to be. Even though our little darling was much bigger than expected, she still only wore the newborn size. I would bring a onsie and a long sleeved onsie with footies. I'd also bring a hat for baby. It gets chilly in the hospital and they are so itty bitty.

-Snacks. I brought a few granola bars. I'd definitely bring those again. They helped to tide us over throughout our stay and also saved Adam from a near fainting episode right before delivery. *Additionally, if you deliver late at night or are expected to, get someone to go to a local restaurant and get you some food. You will be famished after delivery and will want something. I was shoving food in my mouth the second Adly came out.

-Magazines. Never even looked at them. Wouldn't bring again. The waiting game is anything but boring. You're exhausted, visitors are in and out, nurses are in and out poking and prodding you in some way.

-Delivery Music. This ended up being awesome. I wasn't sure I'd ever listen to it. But when it came time to push, it was essential to giving me something to focus on other than the fact I was about to pass out from exhaustion. Ask me what songs I heard and when....I have no idea.

-Pacifier. No way. If you're breastfeeding, they strongly recommend against using a paci until breastfeeding is well established. Those sat untouched.

-Blankets. These are great and we did use them throughout the stay. I'd bring two again. Gotta keep baby looking fresh in something other than the ugly hospital blanket!

-Baby Book. Somehow, in all the commotion, we got her footprints into the baby book. I'm so glad we did. This is a must bring, I think.

There you have it, my condensed list. There are probably other things that people would say to bring or not bring, but this is what I will go off of for baby number two...way down the road when that happens.  Either way, I think the most important thing to remember is what I said at the beginning of this post. Someone can always go get something for you if you need it. Happy packing!

Adly's Birth Part 2

Sorry to leave you hanging. My boobies were needed.

Once I sat up for an hour to let gravity do it's thing, the doctor and the army of nurses propped me back to a laying down position. Before I knew it, my legs were being held in the air, spread eagle and I was being told my job was to hold my thighs. Adam was placed on my right hand side to hold my right thigh with me and hold my neck up.

My doctor took position at the end of the bed and the other nurses grabbed various leg areas to help hold me up. I have to note here that one thing that I look back on now and kind of laugh at is the fact that throughout the time I was pushing, there were numerous doctors, nurses, and who else knows walking in and out of the room. They were all there to play their part in the delivery, but it's pretty funny to think back now about how anyone and everyone walked in and saw my lady parts in all their glory.

Anyways, when it came to the labor part I guess I had just assumed that you got to 10 cm and then the baby came out. I had NO idea about pushing and what it was all about. So naive. The nurses and doctor got right to work once my legs were up. During pushing, they watch for contractions on a monitor that is strapped to your belly to show the contractions on a richter-like scale printout. I could also feel the pressure of the contractions coming and going. At this point, my contractions were about every 2 minutes.

So here is how the pushing part goes:

-I feel a contraction coming and/or the nurses saw one on the monitor. Whoever noticed it first would say it was time to go again.
-I curl forward and take a deep breath and hold.
-I push as hard as you could ever imagine for 10 seconds as everyone counts down and cheers me on. I remember things like, "push, push, push, push!!" "just like that, keep going!!" "push toward my finger!! right there, right there!" "you got it, you're SO close! keep going, keep going!!!"
-My personal favorite was, "push like you're taking the biggest poop you've ever taken. go, go, go!!"
-I would push with all my might for 10 seconds, then take another deep breath and immediately do it all over again, four times in a row.
-Then it was break time. This was almost amusing to me. You went from pushing like hell and everyone yelling to cheer you on, to relaxing and taking deep breaths while having random conversations for the time between contractions.
-Two minutes later, it was time to do it all over again.
**We had a labor playlist. I highly recommend this for anyone in labor. It helped to distract us all during the downtime and it also helped during the madness of pushing.**

I can't even begin to explain how difficult the pushing time was. I don't think anyone will ever understand until they've done it. I was beyond exhausted. Sweat was pouring down my face, I had a cold compress on my forehead, I could hardly catch my breath. Yet, the fact that I knew my daughter was thisclose to finally coming out, forced me to dig deeper than I ever have before and find the strength to continue pushing.

Adly kept getting stuck at my pelvic bone during the pushing. Apparently it's usually the hardest part and takes a lot of effort to get the head past it. It was here that I began to get nervous she just wasn't going to make it out that way. So I stopped and leveled with my doctor. My worst fear was that I would've gone through vaginal labor, only to end up in c-section and have to recover from both. She responded with a lot of enthusiasm that we would be able to get her out....we just needed to keep on pushing.

After pushing for a little over an hour, I felt some intense pressure and then, there she was on my belly. There was no pain, it happened so quickly. Adam cut the cord and then they took her away to clean her up and run some tests on her. He followed Adly, while the doctor worked on me. I tore, so there was some stitching up to be done. According to Adam, there was also an explosive mess of blood, poo and bodily fluids that came shooting out just before Adly that needed to be cleaned up. Fun times, right!? I don't remember much of this time, I was just so exhausted.

Once Adly was good to go, they brought her over to me and laid her down on my chest. This is where I lost it. On my chest, I started talking to her. She immediately opened her eyes and started looking at me, moving her body upwards and her head to me. She recognized my voice right away. Then Adam walked over and began talking to her. She turned her head to him and started cooing and moving towards him. She also knew his voice right away. We spent the next few minutes, both sobbing,  bonding with our daughter. It was an unbelievably special moment and brings me to tears every time I think or talk about it.

We got to spend about an hour alone with her before family started streaming in, two by two to meet their precious grandchild and niece. It was so special to have all of our family there to meet her right away. Once their quick visits were done, we were whisked away to the mom and baby unit where we stayed for the next two nights.

I would not change a thing when it comes to the delivery. In all, I pushed for only a little over an hour. It felt like much longer, so I feel terribly for the women who push for hours. It is exhausting work bringing a child into this world!

So that's it. One of the most amazing days of my life to date. We are beyond thrilled that she is finally here and out of my belly to join our little family.

Party of three. 

Adly's Birth Part 1

As you know, Monday we had a "false alarm" when it came to Adly's pending arrival. I was really bummed out after that happened and struggled with dealing with the emotions of when she'd actually come. I wanted her here so badly. How I dealt with that was to convince myself in my head that she was not coming for at least another week. I mean, she wasn't even due until the 15th.

By Tuesday evening, I had convinced my family to drive back to Michigan and wait it out. They were set to leave Wednesday morning.

I'm including this part because I really think it might've actually had something to do with jumpstarting labor. Late Tuesday night, I was sitting on the couch after everyone left and Adam went to bed. I was continuing to have contractions and was just generally frustrated. So I started looking online at natural ways to induce labor. I'd been having contractions for 3 days and was dilated to 3-4cms. I had to be on the verge of it. We had tried all the other ways of naturally inducing with no results. What else was there to try!?! Well, I found this blog post about nipple stimulation jump starting labor. This woman swore by the process working and even had a whole routine written out to follow. At the end of the post were countless comments by people it had also worked for. So, I decided to try it. Yep. At 11pm at night, by myself, big as a whale, massaging my nips. Sexy.

After about 30 minutes, I decided to give up. First of all, it just felt odd. Secondly, I have a husband who can do such things, so I decided to wait until the next day and let him try it. Off to bed I went.

Well, around 3am, I was awakened by a feeling of peeing my pants. Yep, the classic water break. I felt my shorts and they were all wet. I still wasn't convinced, thinking maybe I just pissed myself. Hey, it happens. So I got up and checked it out. It was clear with no smell. Yes. I smelled my panties. The things you have to do while pregnant! Hmm...ok. Maybe it was my water. I woke Adam up and told him, "I may have broken my water. But I want to go back to sleep. So wake me up at 5:15 when you get up and I'll call the doc."His response was, "How am I supposed to sleep now!?!" Ten minutes later he was snoring away. Hmph.

Of course, I couldn't sleep. So I spent the next 2 hours researching and trying ways to determine if it actually was my water. When Adam got up for work, I called my doctor with what had been happening and she said to come in ASAP. Now, let me tell you, the only "gush" I ever felt was the initial one. After that, it was a slight continuous almost drip- kind of just like normal discharge. Additionally, there was some blood in it. Turns out, that is from your cervix and really common.

Still convinced I was only going to be turned away again once I got to the ER, I didn't eat any breakfast. We grabbed a few things and we left. We arrived to OB Triage around 6:30am. They did all the normal things, except this time when I explained what had happened, we started to be told we wouldn't be going anywhere. Then I panicked. "OMG I didn't eat breakfast!!" (This girl can NOT live without food). Once you're admitted, they don't let you eat anything besides ice chips. Luckily, one of the nurses let Adam sneak me a scone so I was able to get something in my belly. Ladies, even if you think you might be turned away, EAT before you go to the hospital.

Around 8:30, three doctors came in and did a few tests to see if it was in fact my water that broke, and it was. At that time I was around 4cm dilated still. At 9:30am I was officially admitted to the hospital for delivery. Our nurses were FANTASTIC. The one I had all day was so nice. I think the most disappointing thing about delivery is it takes so long in most cases, you see a shift change. I totally became attached to our nurse, Agnes, and was so sad when her shift was over that evening. When I arrived, Agnes suggested I wait out the epidural as long as I could. They started me on pitocin, and the contractions started revving up. For around the next 3 hours, I handled the pain of the contractions. I'm not going to lie...they hurt. But, I'd been feeling them for four days at that point, so I was somewhat used to the actual pain. I also began to notice when they were coming on and deal with it then.

Agnes also made sure to keep me informed whenever the anesthesiologist was available. I've heard stories of girls waiting and when they were ready, the anesthesiologist was busy in surgery or with other patients, leaving them hanging for up to an hour. Ouch!! Around noon, I was more than ready and the doc was available so we went for it. They made Adam leave due to the fact that a lot of husbands pass out at the sight of the big needle. I'm not going to lie, I probably would have too. Luckily, I couldn't see anything. Agnes was amazing and held on to my shoulders the whole time...and talked to me about anything random I thought of to distract me.

Getting the epidural does not hurt. They gave a local anesthesia to cover the pain of the big needle and that wasn't bad at all. I think more of the "pain" comes from thinking about how big the actual needle is from visions you've seen on TV or from random sources. Additionally, you have to remain curled up in a ball, and with contractions, that hurts enough in itself to take your mind off the pain in your back area. As soon as the doctor was done, I was in heaven.

At that point, we shut off the lights closed the curtains and I napped. Having been up since 3am, I was exhausted. The beauty of an epidural is that you can't feel A THING when it comes to contractions. I could feel pressure, but at that point, that was nothing. You are numb from the waist down, and life can continue as normal. To me, this was heaven and SO worth it. All day I sat in amazement that some women do not get the epi. For me, it helped to make my birth experience so amazing and truly something I'll remember for the rest of my life, because I was able to enjoy it. I am not against natural in any way- in fact I highly commend the women who can do it. I just don't have the pain tolerance.

Agnes continued amping up the pitocin throughout the afternoon. Around 3, I had a cervical check by my doctor. I had dilated to 6-7cm. She also discovered my water bag was still full. She grabbed a hook and actually broke my water. What I had "broke" at home was nothing. THIS was the gush you hear about. More like flood. Adam got to witness that event firsthand and apparently it is not pretty.

By 9pm, I was dilated to 10cm- the ending point in dilation. At that point, the doctor propped me up basically to standing position (but sitting due to my legs being completely numb). This was to let nature do it's work along with gravity, hoping to make the baby drop as far down as possible on her own using just contractions for an hour.

That hour was intense for many reasons. After all the waiting, we now knew she was going to be here in a very short matter of time. That is an unbelievably surreal feeling. Adam started to stress out and looked like he was going to pass out. This inwardly made me start to panic. I tried my best to calm him down, and suggested getting my sister to come in, in case he couldn't do it. He insisted he was fine. And before we knew it, the doctor and three other nurses had arrived and were laying me back. It was GO TIME.

Adam had gathered himself by then and jumped right into action like the amazing man I know he is. They positioned him on my right, to hold up my neck and right thigh. They asked me how I count down for things, what works for me. I asked that everyone count down from ten each time I pushed. I had NO idea what I was in for....

Ready, set, GO!!

Welcoming Adly Daniele!!

She has arrived!!

Adly Daniele was born 7/10/13 at 11:15pm, weighing 8lbs 13oz and measuring in at 21 inches long.

Everyone is doing well. More posts to come soon about the birth and all of her first visitors soon. For now, you can stare at her like we have been for the last 3 days. :) I have to forewarn you, I can't stop taking pictures of her chubby cheeks and beautiful face.

Love,
Adam & Kelly

Right after delivery. First family photo after lots of tears of joy. 

 All swaddled up!

 I could stare at you for days...in fact, I will. 

She's got him wrapped around her finger already.  

 Adly got confused and went for aunt Cait's boobie. According to Cait it was because it was a younger, more perky boob. 

Hehehehe! Evidence of Ady's attempts. 

 Daddy changing for the first time. He's a rockstar and SO much help!

 I mean...those CHEEKS. This was while I was sobbing in the hospital over how much I love her. Bring on the after-pregnancy hormones!

 Late night chats with daddy in the hospital.

 Wiggling around during some skin to skin time. 

 Another moment after BF'ing. Words can't describe how amazing this time is. 

Showing uncle Mike the ropes on how to hold a newborn. 

This is only a small chunk of pics we've taken so far. I'll be updating as I have time. We've had so many amazing moments captured already with visitors I can't wait to share. 

Love, 

Adam, Kelly & Adly 

What's in Your Bag?

As you progress into the home stretch of your pregnancy, you'll start to read and hear a lot about packing your hospital bag. This has become big business for some people. I've even seen "pre-packed hospital bags" in those kitschy little specialty mommy stores. I've read posts about girls who had their bags packed weeks ago...like in the 2nd trimester. Hey, you never know, right?

I myself am a bit thick headed. Obviously judging from the fact that I saw nothing wrong with taking a 5.5 hour drive by myself at 36 weeks, I don't really think I'm that pregnant. The hospital bag to me, has been nothing but an obnoxious pain in the ass. Therefore, I've just avoided it. Of course once again, it took my doctor telling me in slow-mo: you could have this baby at anytime. Pack a bag. Before I decided I should take a stab at it.

My procrastination comes from the fact that it's very overwhelming to me. Why? Everywhere you look, you can find lists telling you to pack items that range from 10 things you must have to 50 things. If all goes well, I'll only be in the hospital for 2 days. Seriously? 50 things?! Not to mention I live 10 minutes from the hospital. Adam can get me anything I forget. Can't he? Then I go into the panic mode of: "No, he won't know where it is, I'll have to remember and then what if I forget where I put it last? I must bring it."

After yesterday's talk with my doctor, I attempted to settle this conundrum by packing a bag based off of a few different lists that I felt fit me best. So to help any of you future preggo's, I thought I'd put it on here. Hopefully the process isn't nearly as overwhelming for you as it was for me.

My Hospital Bag:

-Robe, cotton pajama/nightie thingy, slippers: my lovely mother in law got these items for me at my baby shower. I've read some women use them, others don't. I'm bringing just in case. Slippers, however, have been recommended by quite a few people. It can be chilly and you are forced to prove you can walk after that bowling ball comes shooting out of your legs.

-Baby Book: this surprised me. Honestly up until this Tuesday, we hadn't even purchased one. But apparently in the hospital they will put your wee one's footprints in the book for you. How precious and they'll never be that tiny again.

-Granny Panties: Now purchasing this item was fun. Standing at Target in front of the wall of Hanes cotton virginity panties, I found myself utterly clueless. First of all, grown up panties don't come in wrapped packs of 5. And what the hell size am I now that I've put on a bunch of weight? Once I decided on a size, I could've cared less about what they looked like. This is because apparently after birth your body has to get rid of a lot of things...for up to 6 weeks. So in addition to the large and in charge pads you get to wear, you definitely don't want to ruin any of your pretty underthings you've gathered in your adult years. I've heard some hospitals supply you with large, lovely panties, so I'm bringing a few pairs of these as a backup just in case.

-Conditioner and Baby Lotion: I've heard from multiple sources there is no conditioner in the showers and lotion can come at an extra expense. Therefore, I'm heeding their advice and packing just in case.

-Normal Toiletries: In addition, I always need contact solution/case, face wash, toothbrush/paste and I'll throw my make up bag in last minute if I remember.

-Hairband/hairties: I don't want any of that business in my face while I'm huffing and puffing.

-Nursing Bra/Nursing Bra Tank: Target offers really reasonably priced nursing wear. Therefore, I'm bringing my bra and tank I purchased. Who knows if I'll need them nor what size I'll be. Let's hope I guessed right.

-Going Home Outfit (Me): The bottoms were easy. Stretchy maternity leggings. Whether I end up succeeding with a vaginal birth or having a c-section, I'm hoping these will keep whatever is leftover of my belly in place. The top was harder. I've embraced my bump for most of my pregnancy so I don't have much of anything that's loose fitting. And, let's be honest, at this point in the game, I'm stretching out anything and everything I put on. So in the end, I went with a larger oversized, long t-shirt. Oh and shoes! Almost forgot shoes. That would help, right?!

-Going Home Outfit (Adly): This has me stumped. I don't know how big she's going to be, how hot it's going to be nor what she'll fit into comfortably. So for our darling princess, I packed 4 outfits. Thankfully her clothes are small. She has a newborn short sleeved onesie, a long sleeved newborn onesie, and a short-sleeved/long-sleeved 0-3 month onesies. One of those has GOT to fit her. If not we'll just diaper her up and throw in her in the carseat. I kid, I kid.

-Swaddle blanket: This was my own idea. Maybe we'll use it, maybe we won't. But we'll have it if we need it.

-Receiving blanket: Same as the swaddle. Will we or won't we? Who knows.

-Pacifier: Just in case.

I'm sure I've forgotten something. I'm sure I won't use all of these things. Some lists recommend you bring massage oils, candles, a picture frame of you and your hubby to focus on, videos, etc. But I myself won't need that crap. No, I'm just going to focus on getting the baby out and in my arms. Perhaps there may be some screaming, definitely some swearing, and maybe a little "I HATE THAT YOU DID THIS TO ME!!!" And if you ask me, a candle and massage oils aren't going to make that any better.

I'll be sure to update afterwards and give the low down on what was unnecessary and what I missed.