letdown

Yesterday I had my weekly checkup with the doc. Sunday night I had a sleepless night as I began having some painful contractions, lower back pain and if I'm honest, loose bowels. All of which are signs of labor in progress. I was so glad I was going in to the doc's that morning so she could reassure me of what was going on and that I was actually contracting.

Well, reassure me she did. She checked for dilation and I had increased from 2cm to 3cm in the last week, which I thought was HUGE. Based on all the things going on, she informed me I was definitely in "early labor".

Wooooooooo-hooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Was my reaction. THIS IS IT.

She was concerned about my increased blood pressure, so throughout the appointment she had it taken 3 times. She then told me she was on duty in the ER the next day and she thought for sure she'd be able to deliver me then. She wanted me to go into triage at the hospital right away though, to rest and get the BP down. I asked if I could go home, relax, and count contractions. She agreed with that plan because she was convinced I'd progress and end up in triage that night  or the next morning for delivery.

So with that knowledge, Adam and I both jumped on our phones and got the families all riled up. My dear Michigan family jumped in their cars as soon as work let out and headed down. By 7pm, Adam and I went into triage with me having contractions every 6-8 mins and high blood pressure. I was convinced that due to the high BP, even if the contractions weren't close enough, they'd induce.

This is it. We both thought. And we were SO excited.

Well, turns out my blood pressure was fine by then. The contractions just weren't close enough. And when they checked me I was still dilated to 3cm. Therefore, I was given the option to "wait it out" in the ER or head home. To me, waiting it out in the hospital really means "you're taking up precious bed space, so we're going to c-section you." So we decided to head home.

Let me tell you, it was more depressing than I could've imagined to leave the hospital with no baby girl. As of Monday morning, I hadn't even begun to process the idea that Adly could be joining us in a day or two. But by Monday evening I had pumped myself and everyone else up to believe that it was happening and it was happening now.

But it wasn't. So Monday night, I finally slept for 6 hours and then woke up this morning with no contractions. None. Nada. WTF!?!?

So I put on my exercise gear and decided I was going to walk this baby out of me today. I mean, my whole family is here...everyone is on standby. This HAS to happen and fast. So I walked. And walked. Throughout today, the contractions have definitely increased in their painfulness. However, they are still sporadic and still frustrating the hell out of me.

I read so much about first time preggo's being admitted to the ER, only to be turned away hours later to go home and contract. I was convinced that would never be me. I'm far too anal about such things to mess up in that way. But let me tell you, the power of thinking you are going to meet your precious bundle any minute is unbelievably overwhelming. The enthusiasm of my doctor alone was enough to make me want to head in right away. Of course, they don't know for sure it's going to happen right then and there (this being said without your water breaking or without them needing to induce). They can guess...but no one knows for sure when it's going to happen.

So here is what I have learned in the last 24 hours about the stages of labor:

-Early Labor: Dilated 0-3cm, contractions are 5-20 minutes apart, can last for 12 hours or longer (for days or weeks).
-Active Labor: Dilation from 4-7cm, contractions are 3-4 minutes apart. This is when you head to the hospital.
-Transition to Labor: Dilation 7-10cm, baby heads down birth canal.
-Labor: This is when you push and life's greatest gift is your reward for all this pain.

**If your water breaks, all bets are off on the "stages of labor" and you head in immediately to be induced as the baby is then open to infection. Problem is, only about 8-10% of mommies break their water naturally. Crazy, huh?

So for now, we wait. And contract.

Stranded.

For months now, I've planned to head back to MI for my childhood bestie's baby shower this weekend. Kendra is in town for a week and how fun is it that after years of being partners in crime, we are both pregnant together!? On top of that, there was a wedding shower and a cousins graduation party I also planned to attend. It was going to be my last un-mommy adventure where I got to squeeze in extra time with so many loved ones. I'd been looking forward to the trip for a looooong time.

Then I mentioned my impending trip to a few co-workers. Two of whom have had babies themselves. What I got was a look of pure shock and insistent recommendations that I not drive that far by myself and that I was crazy to even consider such a thing. All I could think was, "What's the big deal? She's still got at least 3.5 weeks to cook!" Because, remember. I've told her she's not to come until the end of July.

Mind you, this was also after my husband had mentioned he wasn't keen on it earlier in the week...but honestly what does he know? And my mother in law and my dad mentioned concern the night before....but no one is going to tell me what to do.

So after work on Thursday, I had begun to get a little nervous after countless people had expressed their concern. Although I was still convinced my doctor would just chuckle about how nervous people get and tell me of course I can go home! So I called the nurse at the office and spoke with her for a while. She actually laughed when I told her my plans. Hmph. She then proceeded to tell me she wasn't sure the doctor would allow it, but she'd ask anyways. The plan was for her to call me Friday morning, as my doctor was behind on appointments and very busy. She would leave me a voicemail with the doctors orders, either way since I'd be at school. I told her I respected their opinion and would follow whatever they said. Of course I was going to be able to go. I mean, I'm NOT THAT FAR ALONG.

Well, I got a phone call....15 minutes later. Guess the doctor wasn't too busy to tend to my idiotic life decisions. And in that phone call, I was adamantly told not to leave for the weekend. I tell you what, I don't love being told what to do. Especially when I have my heart set on something. But, after being told by countless people, I guess I got it through my thick head. Little miss Adly could make her entrance into this world at any time. For once, I am not the one in control.

But seriously, let's be honest. She won't come this weekend. She'll come when she damn well feels like it....she is my daughter. And that entrance will come at a time when I am on the brink of insanity and most ready to just pull her out myself.

On a final note of my stupidity, I also went out and ate fried food to celebrate my friend Katie's birthday last night. Well, that sure backfired yet again. So here I am, blogging at 3am thanks to the heartburn and acid reflux that keeps threatening a puke n' rally sesh. I have to note that I am also terrified of throwing up while pregnant. It's like a part of me actually fears she'll come out my throat.

And for that I thank, yet again, Catholic schools, for your phenomenal sex education programming. Twenty years later I've never felt like a bigger dumbass.

Burning up from the inside out

Today, I took my last personal day of the school year. Of course it won't be just a "relaxing" day as I have doctors appointments to attend and errands to run. But at this moment, I could not be more grateful to have had a day off.

Last night, I surprised hubby with a little date night. He's been working a ton so I made reservations at a restaurant by our house we haven't eaten at and when he got home we wandered on over there. The food was quite tasty. Both of us had the burger which had been recommended by a lot of people on good ole Yelp. I even had a fantastic "pho-jito". I seriously love it when restaurants list and price NA drinks.

I don't know which one looks better...my handsome husband or the delicious drink.

I had half of the burger, some fries, and dessert. I was full, though not stuffed beyond belief. But shortly after dinner, trouble started. I couldn't stop burping and was beginning to feel the effects of heartburn coming on right as I was going to bed. So I took 3 Tums...just to be safe and fell asleep.

Then I woke up at 2am....dying inside. I have never had such bad heartburn. Flames were shooting up my throat...I'm not kidding. I ate 2 more Tums and then spent the next two hours tossing and turning trying to find a position that would stop the incessant fire breathing dragon from shooting flames out of my throat. If you can imagine burning liquid coming up your throat over and over again, you might begin to scrape the surface of the pain I was feeling. (I know, I'm dramatic....but again... I'm not kidding). Let me mention on top of that how difficult it is to find a comfortable position "normally" with a 10 pound sack of weight in front of you that hiccups, kicks, and punches throughout the night.

It was then that I remembered a co-worker saying she would have to sleep sitting up sometimes when her heartburn was too bad. So at 4am, out of desperation, I made the move to Adly's rocker/recliner. At that point, my husband also woke up moaning and groaning from my movement waking him up and excruciating heartburn. He chugged some water, munched on some Tum's, and we laughed at the current predicament we were both in. Then he stumbled back off to sleepyland.

Must be nice. 

I've never truly experienced heartburn until late in pregnancy. And what happened last night was beyond hellish. Needless to say, sitting up didn't work for me so around 5am I gave up and went back to bed next to my snoring husband. I then awoke at 7:30am for good, still feeling the burn. If anything, I am SO happy I do not have to go to work today as I am definitely running on one cylinder. On top of that, I vow...no more burgers and definitely waaaaay less greasy food. I don't ever want to feel that bad of a burn again!

Alright, all you non-preggos...who wants to get knocked up and join in the fun!?!?

The Swell and the not so Swell

In the latest turn of events in this saga known as pregnancy, my feet have begun their descent into swollen territory.

I only noticed for the first time the other day when I took off my socks...yes, we are still needing socks in the end of May. Once they unveiled my beautiful ankles and toes, I realized that my ankle bones had almost disappeared. Normally, they protrude out on both sides of my feet. This particular evening, my right foot had no ankle bones and the left had a small bit of it sticking out. At this point in pregnancy, your blood volume goes way up, helping the swelling along. The heat also doesn't help. So to that I say, Helllooooooo Cankles! Nice to meet you!

Just when I was about to get frustrated by the addition of the swelling as a symptom, my little darling went ahead woke me up this morning from my slumber with a good head to toe stretch and then a swift kick to the ribs. You wanna know what that feels like? A fat snake unraveling lengthwise in your stomach and then a kung fu ninja taking his anger out on the bottom part of your rib cage. Believe it or not, this I will actually miss greatly. I can't believe I'm already getting wishy-washy about not being pregnant. Damn you, hormones!

Speaking of movement, I just found a video on my phone from early last week I forgot I took. When I went to bed Tuesday night, I was reading on my phone when Adly stuck either her head or her rear out in my belly. To the point where I could grab hold of it. I quickly switched to video and was able to catch some of her movement on video. These days, she's not as much of a kicker but more of a mover and a shaker. She moves her whole body from side to side or stretches out, or rolls around. It's pretty aggressive and I've tried with all my might to catch it on video to remember this stuff.

Excuse our conversation in the video. Two things. One, Adam is upset because I didn't call him in to feel her head. It happened so fast! Two, I say "like" a lot. Who am I? Alicia Silverstone!? As we're talking though, you can quite clearly see her body on the right side of my belly moving all around and then once I start talking she heads for my belly button.

Happy Memorial Day weekend! I hope wherever you are, it is warm out as it most definitely is not here. Therefore, I'm spending the rest of my weekend nesting in the nursery that looks like a bomb went off in it. 

Learning Curve

The other day, I thought I had my first experience of something lovingly known as Braxton Hicks. These are the "trial" contractions that happen before birth. They can begin in the 2nd trimester and last through birth or you may never experience them at all. As everything in pregnancy goes, it just depends on the person/pregnancy.

My first episode went like this: I felt good, was sitting on the couch relaxing when my stomach started cramping up. It hurt pretty bad and then I started to feel sick, so I laid down. I then proceeded to pass out for an hour or so. When I woke up, I felt fine. My first thought was, if that was like a contraction and I can just sleep through it, than I'm all for this labor thing! If only it would be so easy.

Yesterday, they came back with a vengeance after lunch and with such ferociousness, all I wanted to do was stop teaching and curl up in a ball on our classroom couch. When I had a moment, I quickly googled Braxton Hicks to learn more about them since I don't know squat. Turns out, being dehydrated can definitely make them more painful and that was when I noticed my half-full bottle of water. Oops. So that must be it, I thought. 

After talking to a teacher friend who has actually been through this pregnancy rodeo, she suggested I call the doc just to check in, since the pain sounded a little too harsh to be Braxton Hicks. After talking to the nurse and reviewing my last day and a half, turns out this was not Braxton Hicks contractions. No, instead it was most likely cramping due to dehydration.

I started out this journey dedicated to drinking at least 32oz of water at school and trying for another 32oz at home in the evenings. Well, it is quite difficult to keep up with that level of drinking and peeing when you have 41 students you are catering to all day. So I'll admit I've kind of fallen off that wagon in recent weeks. And now with the warmer weather, it was not a good combination. I was instructed to immediately fuel up with loads of water and Gatorade and to continue a regimented schedule of downing water non-stop until birth.

So there you have it, a major amateur move on my part. Luckily, since I've stepped up the liquids in the last day, the cramping has gone away. It's amazing how quickly you can be reminded you are responsible for the care of another human being- even if she's not here yet, and every one of my actions effect her directly.

On another note, thank goodness I won't have to deal with that painful business for the next two months. I can't even explain the gripping moment of fear I had as it was happening thinking, "I can't do this. I can't go through labor. It hurts too bad. I WANT OUT!!"

Good thing I have two more months to work on psyching myself up for the biggest (most painful) event of my life. 

What The?

Today I came home from work and was putting away the dishes, not really paying much attention as I went. Then I opened the cupboard to put away the clean tupperware. This is what I found.

What is that, you might ask? It's my homemade dressing from the fridge. In the cupboard. Sitting nicely right in front of the tupperware. Because that's where it belongs, apparently. 

Pregnancy brain strikes again.

The Thing About Carrots...

So, I have a major pregnancy symptom! Or something like that. And it involves of all things, carrots.

I only realized it today, when it happened for a second time. The first time, I just thought something was off that day.

At lunch, I brought some carrot sticks to eat with my meal. I love carrots. They're one of my favorite veggies to snack on. I had eaten one or two sticks when all the sudden I began to have terrible heartburn. It was heartburn that was so bad that I could barely breathe.

I stood up to try to let it go down the hatch, only it just sat there in my throat. And the burn got worse with every swallow. Then I realized I was going to throw up...just like last time. So I ran to the bathroom and did just that. And only the carrots came up.

Weird, isn't it? This happened a few weeks ago as well, but it was long enough ago for me to have forgotten about it. I also thought for sure that time it was a fluke incident. I mean, carrots? Of all things?? But now that it's happened twice, there must be something about carrots that I cannot digest them right now.

Just wanted to share this random pregnancy side effect that has me all confused. Pregnancy is such a weird state to be in. So for now, I guess no more carrots. Hope my vision doesn't get worse....

Its happening!

While I certainly haven't woken up with birds chirping (its too damn cold here) or sun shining on my head (again, its the dead of winter), I've most definitely woken up with a lot more pep in my step the last two days. I think the reason behind this is two-fold. One part my amazing new Snoogle (pregnant ladies...run out and buy one. NOW.) and the second part just might be I'm finally entering the glorious phase everyone talks about in the second trimester.

Of course, this is me we're talking about. And not a day can go by without some sort of uncertainty, wonder, or worry. Perhaps I'm normal, perhaps not. You see, now for the last two days I've felt generally pretty good. My back pain is still creeping in by the evening time, but at least I'm making it through the day now. But feeling good tends to bring worry to my mind. I caught myself again today thinking, "I don't feel pregnant today". 

And then I got home from the grocery store and realized I lost the keys to the storage unit I went in earlier today, much to my husbands dismay. He was hurrying out the door on his way to WI for the next few days and needed something from there. After searching everywhere, including my coat pockets where I could've sworn they were, he was not all that happy with me. Then I decided to check my coat pockets again....and they may or may not have been there the whole time. But the important lesson from this event is: everything's fine. And thats what matters...right?

Happy 14 weeks!!

xo

The one in which I do product placement for free.

Friday...its HERE!! Holy moly was this a long week. I wasn't sure I'd make it to this day. I spent a lot of my first trimester boo-hooing and worrying myself into a daily panic that something was wrong with Baby B for countless reasons, but the main one being: I just didn't feel pregnant. Deep down inside me I wanted to feel morning sickness so bad I threw up. I wanted to be so sick I had to stay home from school. I wanted to feel that maternal feeling of pregnancy. I guess to me, it was almost like the pregnancy initiation period. Don't get me wrong, I was sick a few times...just not nearly as bad as I swear every other pregnant woman has felt.

Lets fast forward to the 2nd trimester. The time I've been reading about for weeks- where every woman begins to feel amazing again after an awful first trimester. I swear in my mind it was going to be like waking up one day, sunshine shining on my head, birds chirping and fluttering around me. I'd bounce out of bed, my face glowing and with my energy abound I'd say to myself, "This pregnancy thing is AWESOME. I want to be pregnant all the time! I'm feeling that good!" (Seriously, this is the warped world my mind lives in).

Unfortunately for me, the second trimester seems to be payback for having an easy first trimester. Karma....you evil B. I'm beyond exhausted. I just can't seem to catch a break when it comes to sleep. And then there's the back pain. That ever present strain on my upper back. Thankfully, I have a friend who recently became a mommy who's been a wealth of information. The other day, I texted her late at night (8pm for me) to find out if she had any suggestions for relief. She texted back to look up something called the Snoogle. So I did immediately, read some reviews, mentioned to A that it looked cool and then went promptly to bed.

Well, today, at work a big package arrived for me. I tore it open only to find the Snoogle I had been looking up. Inside was no card. My first thought was honestly: "Did I buy this and forget I did??" (Believe me, thats not that unrealistic these days). Then my thought went to A. Sure enough, after I went to bed that night, he picked up where I left off reading the reviews and ordered it. He's always been a thoughtful guy, its one of the best things about him. (I on the other hand, play the role of the man...forgetting most important things and having to try really hard to be thoughtful). But since getting knocked up, he's gone even more above and beyond with the thoughtfulness. Anyways, here's hoping for a restful nights sleep tonight with my new Snoogle thanks to my amazing husband!

Additionally, another item I've come to love so far has been this belly band contraption. Excuse the poor self portrait in the mirror. I've never understood how or why people take pics like that of themselves in the bathrooms when they're all done up. Anyways, this was my attempt at that to show you how it works. Its purpose is to help extend the life of your regular jeans. You see, my pants here are unbuttoned. This way I can sneakily continue parading around in my regular old pants like they still fit. Or, better yet, as though I just ate a whole pizza and unbuttoned my pants and no one is the wiser. (Which I may or may not have done at lunch today). 

Yay for maternity goodies! Have yourselves a wonderful and relaxing weekend!! I, myself, will be catching up on sleep with my Snoogle, cheering on the Packers and eating lots of food. 

xo,

Where am I? Who am I?

My upper back has been in pain since this weekend. A non-stop dull pain that seems to not want to go away. The longer it goes on, the more I'm thinking it has to do with the new boulders my shoulders are trying to get used to carrying.

Yesterday I bought a heating pad, which has brought some relief. I've also tried sleeping on a pillow to change the arch of my back at night. Problem is, I'm a back sleeper. As I get bigger, sleeping on my back becomes more of a no-no apparently due to pressure on a major blood vessel? I don't know. Either way, I'm trying to train myself to sleep on my side. So now, at night I have a new pillow shoved under me and a husband who bless his heart, magically wakes up every time I flip to my back to wake me up and tell me I can't sleep on my back.

So maybe it has to do with the lack of sleep or the back pain distracting me, but "Pregnancy Brain" also seems to have set in.

Those of you that know me well, probably know my forgetful tendencies. I'm very organized and detailed in most aspects of my life. But in others....lets just say sometimes I act as though I have advanced Alzheimer's or I've been smoking dope daily since I was 5. Keys: if they are not on the key rack they're lost. Hat: never know where it is. Phone: always leave it behind. Water bottle: leave it everywhere. Thankfully, I was led to a man who somehow has a knack for remembering where it is I lose my objects. He keeps me sane in so many ways. I can't tell you the number of times I've lost something....looked EVERYWHERE only to ask him where it is and he knows right away.

Monday, the story below really happened.

I spent literally the entire day reminding myself I needed to go to Target after school. I remembered from the night before thinking I should go to Target. I spent the WHOLE day thinking about going to Target so I wouldn't forget to go there. So when I got out of school, I did just that. I went to Target. I got into Target and started wandering. Up and down the aisles. Looking, touching, staring and I kid you not, trying desperately to remember WHY it was I went there.

I had absolutely NO idea. None whatsoever. After almost 20 minutes, I started to panic. So I texted A. "What are you doing? Hey, why did I come to Target?" No answer. One minute later, "So, can you remember what I needed?" No answer. Then I placed a frantically embarrassed call to him and he finally answered. After getting a good laugh, he said simply, "a heating pad".

(Head slap on the forehead). I KNEW IT! There was a reason! Thats right! Help for my damn back pain.

How am I going to survive the next 7 months? And yes, its 7 more months. For all you suckers who believe the hype of 9 months....ha. ha. ha. Its actually 10 months. Don't believe what they tell you!

Gummies Galore

Cravings. They're finally starting....A is SO excited!! The day has come!! Time for him to swoop into action catering to my every craving need.

To start, its only been gummies. For a while, I didn't classify them as a "craving" necessarily...more like they just kept sounding good. That was, until, I went to Trader Joe's over xmas with my mother in law to pick up a few last minute items for a Christmas party. I got my items, checked out, paid and then we walked over to wait for A to drive around with the car.

That was when it hit me. "NOOOO!! I forgot the Gummy Tummies!!" I dropped my bags and ran like a mad woman through TJ's having no qualms about asking a grown man TJ worker where the Gummy Tummies were. He calmly led me to them (not fast enough for my liking). I grabbed a bag paid for them and ripped into them before I was out the door. Now THAT is unlike me. I don't like sweets. I'm much more of a salt fiend. If I had done that with a bag of Doritos, I would have thought nothing of it.

Then, I get home to Saginaw only to receive a box of Sour Patch Kids from my dad as kind of an afterthought, stocking stuffer gift. The whole box was gone in a matter of minutes. That is when I had the craving epiphany. IT'S GUMMIES!!

Anyways, guess what has happened to show up three times on our kitchen counter in the last 3 days? You guessed it.

I love my husband!

Morning Sickness: you evil B.

Morning sickness. The term itself is quite deceiving. In fact, one of the most interesting things about pregnancy is no single pregnant woman or pregnancy for that matter is alike. Everyone is different. When it comes to morning sickness, it can mean many things. Nausea, throwing up, gagging, sweats, chills, headaches and I'm sure countless other symptoms. Sounds fun, doesn't it?

In my case, I still feel as though I've been quite lucky. Being that I was 7 weeks along before I even had an inkling I could be pregnant, my symptoms just weren't that strong besides sore boobs. Alright, there may have been other signs but we all know by now I'm clearly not the sharpest pencil when it comes to this stuff. Anyways, morning sickness for me does not come in the mornings. In fact, I feel great every morning. No, my time of desperation and despair comes in the evenings, randomly. It hits me like a ton of bricks and knocks me down square. I'll admit, I'm a sensitive Sally when it comes to being sick. I don't handle it well. At all.

I'll be feeling just fine...then comes the nausea out of nowhere. Everything smells awful, everything looks awful, everything sounds awful. I lay down. Then it feels like I'm going to vomit all over. Only I don't. I lay moaning and groaning with the constant pressure of almost feeling like puking in my throat. Then come the chills and the sweats. Thats when I'm sure its over. Death is upon me. I'm not going to make it. I start saying my goodbyes in my head, preparing for the worst. And then, its all over. Just like that....and I fall asleep. At 8pm.

A has been amazing through all of this. He's begun last second runs for Sprite or saltines, whichever I'm in desperation for at the moment. Although, this is clearly not what he strives for. What A can't wait for are the cravings. Which he's absolutely positive are going to be in line with his cravings. Last night while I was on the brink of a sure morning sickness death, he so sweetly ran out to get Sprite for me. As he came in, he excitedly pulled out a box of Skinny Cow peanut butter and chocolate ice cream sandwiches too. "Look what I got!" A said excitedly. "You probably really have a craving for these, don't you!!?? These will be SO good!"

My insides were churning and "Uggghhh" was all I could muster. After the shadow of death had passed over me, he brought up the sandwiches again. And thats also when we (I) were able to have a good laugh about how excited he is for cravings...and how so far only his cravings have been present. But thats OK, right? Future dad's get to feel some of the pregnancy...and if thats the part he gets to feel, I couldn't be more excited for him.

In other news, here is our first belly pic. Its just barely starting to pop out in the evenings. Just enough to make me unbutton my pants like I do on Thanksgiving...every night of the week. This was taken right before A took us out for a nice Christmas dinner downtown and shopping...all of which was stopped short by another bout of morning sickness. Oh the joys!!

Week 10: