What's in Your Bag?

As you progress into the home stretch of your pregnancy, you'll start to read and hear a lot about packing your hospital bag. This has become big business for some people. I've even seen "pre-packed hospital bags" in those kitschy little specialty mommy stores. I've read posts about girls who had their bags packed weeks ago...like in the 2nd trimester. Hey, you never know, right?

I myself am a bit thick headed. Obviously judging from the fact that I saw nothing wrong with taking a 5.5 hour drive by myself at 36 weeks, I don't really think I'm that pregnant. The hospital bag to me, has been nothing but an obnoxious pain in the ass. Therefore, I've just avoided it. Of course once again, it took my doctor telling me in slow-mo: you could have this baby at anytime. Pack a bag. Before I decided I should take a stab at it.

My procrastination comes from the fact that it's very overwhelming to me. Why? Everywhere you look, you can find lists telling you to pack items that range from 10 things you must have to 50 things. If all goes well, I'll only be in the hospital for 2 days. Seriously? 50 things?! Not to mention I live 10 minutes from the hospital. Adam can get me anything I forget. Can't he? Then I go into the panic mode of: "No, he won't know where it is, I'll have to remember and then what if I forget where I put it last? I must bring it."

After yesterday's talk with my doctor, I attempted to settle this conundrum by packing a bag based off of a few different lists that I felt fit me best. So to help any of you future preggo's, I thought I'd put it on here. Hopefully the process isn't nearly as overwhelming for you as it was for me.

My Hospital Bag:

-Robe, cotton pajama/nightie thingy, slippers: my lovely mother in law got these items for me at my baby shower. I've read some women use them, others don't. I'm bringing just in case. Slippers, however, have been recommended by quite a few people. It can be chilly and you are forced to prove you can walk after that bowling ball comes shooting out of your legs.

-Baby Book: this surprised me. Honestly up until this Tuesday, we hadn't even purchased one. But apparently in the hospital they will put your wee one's footprints in the book for you. How precious and they'll never be that tiny again.

-Granny Panties: Now purchasing this item was fun. Standing at Target in front of the wall of Hanes cotton virginity panties, I found myself utterly clueless. First of all, grown up panties don't come in wrapped packs of 5. And what the hell size am I now that I've put on a bunch of weight? Once I decided on a size, I could've cared less about what they looked like. This is because apparently after birth your body has to get rid of a lot of things...for up to 6 weeks. So in addition to the large and in charge pads you get to wear, you definitely don't want to ruin any of your pretty underthings you've gathered in your adult years. I've heard some hospitals supply you with large, lovely panties, so I'm bringing a few pairs of these as a backup just in case.

-Conditioner and Baby Lotion: I've heard from multiple sources there is no conditioner in the showers and lotion can come at an extra expense. Therefore, I'm heeding their advice and packing just in case.

-Normal Toiletries: In addition, I always need contact solution/case, face wash, toothbrush/paste and I'll throw my make up bag in last minute if I remember.

-Hairband/hairties: I don't want any of that business in my face while I'm huffing and puffing.

-Nursing Bra/Nursing Bra Tank: Target offers really reasonably priced nursing wear. Therefore, I'm bringing my bra and tank I purchased. Who knows if I'll need them nor what size I'll be. Let's hope I guessed right.

-Going Home Outfit (Me): The bottoms were easy. Stretchy maternity leggings. Whether I end up succeeding with a vaginal birth or having a c-section, I'm hoping these will keep whatever is leftover of my belly in place. The top was harder. I've embraced my bump for most of my pregnancy so I don't have much of anything that's loose fitting. And, let's be honest, at this point in the game, I'm stretching out anything and everything I put on. So in the end, I went with a larger oversized, long t-shirt. Oh and shoes! Almost forgot shoes. That would help, right?!

-Going Home Outfit (Adly): This has me stumped. I don't know how big she's going to be, how hot it's going to be nor what she'll fit into comfortably. So for our darling princess, I packed 4 outfits. Thankfully her clothes are small. She has a newborn short sleeved onesie, a long sleeved newborn onesie, and a short-sleeved/long-sleeved 0-3 month onesies. One of those has GOT to fit her. If not we'll just diaper her up and throw in her in the carseat. I kid, I kid.

-Swaddle blanket: This was my own idea. Maybe we'll use it, maybe we won't. But we'll have it if we need it.

-Receiving blanket: Same as the swaddle. Will we or won't we? Who knows.

-Pacifier: Just in case.

I'm sure I've forgotten something. I'm sure I won't use all of these things. Some lists recommend you bring massage oils, candles, a picture frame of you and your hubby to focus on, videos, etc. But I myself won't need that crap. No, I'm just going to focus on getting the baby out and in my arms. Perhaps there may be some screaming, definitely some swearing, and maybe a little "I HATE THAT YOU DID THIS TO ME!!!" And if you ask me, a candle and massage oils aren't going to make that any better.

I'll be sure to update afterwards and give the low down on what was unnecessary and what I missed.

37 wks 3 days Update

Today I had my first "weekly" checkup with the doctor. After 36 weeks, you go from bi-weekly to weekly appointments. And when you make it to this point, the doctor goes in to check the engine and see if there's been any progress. I was so looking forward to this appointment. Has there been any movement? Is she sitting pretty? Is she head down? Is there really a baby in there??

Thankfully, a friend told me beforehand that when they check you at this appointment, they basically fist you. Therefore I wasn't shocked when with my legs spread wide, she leaned in and put all her might into getting her hand up there. 

Her findings were that I am at 2cm dilated and about 50% effaced. What the hell does that mean? Well, she could basically get a finger and a thumb up there and in that process was able to touch Adly's head. My cervix is now 50% thinner than it was throughout the rest of the pregnancy. 

People. This means things are moving. My doctor then gleefully mentioned that knowing how I like to plan, at my next appointment she could "scrape my membrane". WHY have they not come up with more lady friendly terms for such things? Oh yes, could you please go down there and scrape away? Sounds like a day at the spa. 

My understanding is that this process can help "get things started" in the way of labor. My next appointment is July 8th and to be honest, I'm not ready. Additionally, I don't need to mess with nature. Talk to me when I'm a week overdue and can't walk. Then I'll consider some scraping. 

Honestly, the fact that I've started dilating on my own is enough to tide me over for the next few weeks. I can't tell you how big of a reality check it was hearing that this thing you've been preparing months for could realistically happen any day. So for now, I'm stopping complaining about the heartburn, her rump in my ribs, and the never ending swollen feet and legs. I'm perfectly content letting her cook a few weeks more. 

Stay tuned!!

shot, shot, shot, shooooot!

Unfortunately we're not having a party at the moment with Lil' Jon cheering us on in the background, telling us to take shots.

No, my friends, we live in the exciting world of pregnancy. Therefore, our shots come in the form of required vaccinations even us parents have to have. And by parents, I mean myself and Adam. Two weeks ago at my last checkup with my OB/GYN, she tried to get me to get the Whooping Cough vaccine. Problem was, I still had to pack up my classroom and the shot leaves your arm pretty sore. So I put it off until tomorrow's visit. She also ordered me to have Adam get the shot. Guess who was not excited about that request?

Let me just try to capture how that conversation went.

Adam: What?! I don't really have to get the shot, do I?
Me: Yes, you do.
Adam: Well.....is it going to hurt??!!
Me: (Do you even know what I'm about to go through? You don't get to talk about pain!!) It might. But not so much that a sucker wouldn't be able to fix the pain.
Adam: Well.....so are they going to give it to me in a vein? What if they miss the vein?
Me: (Are you kidding me?!? A VEIN?!) Oh no, they'll just give you a little poke in your upper arm. Don't worry, it won't hurt a bit.

So today, I dragged him to our local CVS to get his arm stabbed. My reason for going with was two-fold. One, I wanted to ensure he got it done. Two, and most importantly, I wanted to see him suffer. Especially after the conversation we had about the shot.

Sure enough, he survived.

And with that, I continue my thoughts how there is no way possible there would be a human race today if men were the ones in charge of carrying a child.

36 Weeks

Here is life, at 36 weeks pregnant:

-I'm stuck in Chicago. Literally. No more traveling for this baby mama.

-I have been told a few times this week I've "dropped". Although, it definitely doesn't feel like it. I expected to feel some serious relief on my ribcage and lungs. That has not happened.

-My cankles are raging in the heat and my legs feel and look like two stumps. So attractive.

-Adly's foot has been making regular appearances out the sides of my belly. My students have even been able to feel it. That always brings on the reaction of, "I can't believe there's actually something in there!!"

-Hiccups are annoying. Hiccups in the belly were cute at first, now they're annoying. It's almost like I have them at the same time. If only I could train her to understand, "Stand on your head and drink 7 sips of amniotic fluid! I swear.....it works!!"

-Sleep is still good...except when I eat fried foods. When...when will I ever learn my lesson!?!?!

-She is the size of a watermelon and around 6 pounds. Seriously. There is a watermelon in my belly that has to come out eventually. How on earth...

-I'm starting to feel pain in my "groin" area. That means things are moving! YAY!

-Braxton Hicks have been in full swing this weekend on the tail end of the 36th week. Keep 'em coming, keep 'em coming. All those practice contractions have to mean something.

-This momma's still got it! I got hit on in the car yesterday heading out to the burbs. The guy wanted me to roll down my window. So I did. And pointed to my belly saying, "I'm 9 months pregnant. You want in on this action!?!" I think all he could do was laugh. On a side note, I don't think I've had anyone hoot and holler at me in a car like that since I was in college--so unfortunately, it's not a regular occurrence in my every day life.

36 Weeks:

Stranded.

For months now, I've planned to head back to MI for my childhood bestie's baby shower this weekend. Kendra is in town for a week and how fun is it that after years of being partners in crime, we are both pregnant together!? On top of that, there was a wedding shower and a cousins graduation party I also planned to attend. It was going to be my last un-mommy adventure where I got to squeeze in extra time with so many loved ones. I'd been looking forward to the trip for a looooong time.

Then I mentioned my impending trip to a few co-workers. Two of whom have had babies themselves. What I got was a look of pure shock and insistent recommendations that I not drive that far by myself and that I was crazy to even consider such a thing. All I could think was, "What's the big deal? She's still got at least 3.5 weeks to cook!" Because, remember. I've told her she's not to come until the end of July.

Mind you, this was also after my husband had mentioned he wasn't keen on it earlier in the week...but honestly what does he know? And my mother in law and my dad mentioned concern the night before....but no one is going to tell me what to do.

So after work on Thursday, I had begun to get a little nervous after countless people had expressed their concern. Although I was still convinced my doctor would just chuckle about how nervous people get and tell me of course I can go home! So I called the nurse at the office and spoke with her for a while. She actually laughed when I told her my plans. Hmph. She then proceeded to tell me she wasn't sure the doctor would allow it, but she'd ask anyways. The plan was for her to call me Friday morning, as my doctor was behind on appointments and very busy. She would leave me a voicemail with the doctors orders, either way since I'd be at school. I told her I respected their opinion and would follow whatever they said. Of course I was going to be able to go. I mean, I'm NOT THAT FAR ALONG.

Well, I got a phone call....15 minutes later. Guess the doctor wasn't too busy to tend to my idiotic life decisions. And in that phone call, I was adamantly told not to leave for the weekend. I tell you what, I don't love being told what to do. Especially when I have my heart set on something. But, after being told by countless people, I guess I got it through my thick head. Little miss Adly could make her entrance into this world at any time. For once, I am not the one in control.

But seriously, let's be honest. She won't come this weekend. She'll come when she damn well feels like it....she is my daughter. And that entrance will come at a time when I am on the brink of insanity and most ready to just pull her out myself.

On a final note of my stupidity, I also went out and ate fried food to celebrate my friend Katie's birthday last night. Well, that sure backfired yet again. So here I am, blogging at 3am thanks to the heartburn and acid reflux that keeps threatening a puke n' rally sesh. I have to note that I am also terrified of throwing up while pregnant. It's like a part of me actually fears she'll come out my throat.

And for that I thank, yet again, Catholic schools, for your phenomenal sex education programming. Twenty years later I've never felt like a bigger dumbass.

Impatience.

I am not a patient person. I don't think many people are these days, based on the instant gratification world we live in.

I like to get and make things happen quickly and when they don't go quickly it is torture to me. I have to say, this part of pregnancy has not been fun for me. It seems like ages ago that it was November and I was in the bathroom screaming swear words because OMG we were pregnant. 

No, we weren't expecting it. Looking back now, I can't imagine how it could have happened any other way. We were more than ready, although we clearly didn't know it at the time. Day by day, we get closer and closer to meeting our baby girl and her arrival cannot get here fast enough.

Now that she's big enough to move around and see her from the outside, I feel like we're already getting to know her. Sometimes I feel her snuggling up to me in a ball and I want nothing more than for her to be in my arms, all curled up. Sometimes she kicks wildly and it makes me laugh, as I picture her to be older and giggling away, kicking as she lays on her back looking up at me. Then other times she delivers a swift blow to my ribs and I want nothing more to have her out and my body back to myself. And then her little head or foot will pop out, almost as if to say, "Heeellloooooo mom! I'm still here! Look at me!!"

We talk to her all the time. It's bizarre, feeling like she's here with us as we lay on the couch at night. I know she can hear us, but she can't see us and we can't see her. I can't wait to meet her in person and get to know what she's really like. To smell her sweet baby smells and feel her soft baby skin.

All of these thoughts almost, almost make my fears of labor disappear. Maybe that's why so many mom's repeat this process over and over again. The reward at the end of the road is far greater than any of the inconveniences, pain, months of waiting, and sometimes suffering we go through to get the little ones here.

Either way, the final countdown has begun.

LESS THAN 4 WEEKS TO DUE DATE.

And this will test my patience far more than the other 9 months have, as I have no way of knowing exactly when and how she'll be here. So until then, I'll keep daydreaming of what she'll be like, in my arms, trying to wash all of life's stresses away with thoughts of my little girl.

The Father of all Fathers

When I think of a hero, I think of my dad. He may not be a "hero" in every sense of the word, but to me he is someone I look up to, adore, and love more than words could ever say. I like to think I won the lottery of all lotteries when it comes to dads.

My earliest memories are of time spent with my dad. Playing on the pontoon boat, driving to school every day playing the "opposite game" and on special occasions getting to take the "hippety-hoppety road". Throughout high school and beyond, my dad has been my rock. Someone I can always count on  to answer the phone when I'm sad, happy about something exciting, when I was in need of anything (usually money), or when something goes wrong that needs fixing. Whatever it is, he's always been there to help me sort it out.

 Deep thoughts at the ballpark with his #1 fan.

Drying off from the pool in daddy's t-shirt! I was still having difficulty growing hair. 

All dolled up for Uncle Mark's wedding!

Walks through the apartment complex. I'm sure there were some deep convos taking place. 

Before I left for college, I would regularly and mysteriously get applications from all of the in-town colleges that I wanted nothing to do with. Someone was trying to get me to stay. When I went away to college, I would regularly get panicked phone calls every few days if I hadn't spoken with dad. "Kelly, are you alive!?! I haven't spoken to you in a few days." Of course, I always was. And lets face it, I was only an hour away.

Then I graduated college. After dad helped me through a heartbreak, I broke his heart when I dropped the bomb on him that I was moving. Moving far, far away to a big city called Chicago. For what? I had no idea. I just knew I needed to start fresh. So without too much resistance, he helped me pack up the U-Haul and once again moved me to another city. Only this one was big and scary. I know it wasn't easy by any means for him, yet he never said, "don't do it."

He yet again helped me sort through my problems and misguided decisions as I tried and failed a few times at starting my post-college life in Chicago. Throughout my 20's as always, dad was always there. Even from another state, I could count on him to make me laugh from the way he posts on Facebook, to his idiosyncrasies over phone conversations, to the way he dotes on me when I come home. There was the time I broke my nose in Chicago from my good ole knee giving out and ended up in the ER. I was home to MI two days later for the holidays with a black and blue face and a swollen knee. I immediately plopped on the couch only to have dad staring across the living room at me saying, "What do you need? Ice? Asprin? I have asprin. Let me get you some asprin. You need water? I'll get you water. Here's a cup of water for you." (I kid you not, this string of sentences came out without a response from me). To this day, when I make the drive home from Chicago, he always "takes my car for a spin" to check the oil, the engine, and fill up the gas tank.

Before graduating a second time.

Then I met the man of my dreams in Chicago. My dad has always been supportive of me finding the love of my life, unlike some dad's who are extremely overprotective of their girls. No, my dad has wanted nothing more than for me to find a man, get married, and make him a grandchild.  Since I was 22. I know by the time I reached my late 20's he was starting to think there was no hope for me. He says he remembers when I called him after my first date with Adam. And he knew then that it was something big. If only Kelly can sucker this guy into actually marrying her.....

With this hand-off goes my daughter on her own cell phone bill....

Of course, I did manage to sucker him into it, and then even better, managed to get knocked up the first weekend we were married! Wooo-hooo! Double whammy for Grandpa Dan! The icing on the cake has been the type of man I found to spend the rest of my life and start a family with. Not only who he is, but the relationship he also has with my dad. While Adam never fails to tease me about it, I know he understands and looks up to the closeness of our relationship. I could not have asked for anything more than when my dad calls for our usual conversations at night and Adam will willingly jump on the phone to catch up as well.

Now as we venture into having our own daughter, I want nothing more than for Adly and Adam to experience the same relationship I got to experience with my own dad. And I don't think I could've picked a better man to step up to that plate.

So with that, I say Happy Father's Day to all the amazing fathers out there, especially the ones in my life.