Picky Eaters: How We Dealt with Ours

Picky eating phases suck. 

There is no other way to put it. They are unbelievably frustrating for parents and make mealtimes become dreaded for everyone involved. This is a terrible feeling for someone who enjoys cooking and sharing food with others. Imagine making an entire, healthy, delicious meal for your loved one only to have them turn their nose up at it, refuse to try a bite of any of it, ignore it, or just throw it all on the floor. Now imagine when all of the above happens during one meal time. 

It will bring any sane person to tears. And that was what our mealtimes started coming to. Around 18-20 months, Adly began deciding what she did and didn't like. Most things, she didn't like. So many things she had once loved became yucky or things she would eat one bite of and say "Adly no like it". Then would come the whines to get down or for other foods she had decided that day she wanted instead. It is the most frustrating feeling to make an entire meal and then have this little person try to dictate five other things they'd rather have instead. 

Out of frustration, I did what I always do in this journey of parenthood I know nothing about, I started to read. I wanted to know about others' experiences, I wanted to hear ideas that worked, and I wanted it to fit our family. 

One day I came upon this article. It had me from the start, mentioning having a picky 6 year old and 5 years from now, still fighting the food battle. Oh hell no! Was my first thought. She goes on to have some amazing ideas that, as with everything, made perfect sense and made me be all like "now why didn't I think of that?!?" 

I loved it so much I bookmarked it and sent it to Adam. Adam admittedly doesn't always love reading about raising children as much as I do, so he usually just trusts what I say and runs with it. (See?! He's amazing like that. I love when people listen to me!) But the picky mealtimes had definitely been a source of tension between the two of us, and I wanted it to be a plan we'd both be on board with. Back to the frustrations picky eating brings out, at least in our household, mealtime fights put everyone on edge. I think it's important to have a solid frontline when dealing with a picky toddler to ensure you are doing the same things to create consistency across the board. 

He read the article and agreed with it too. So we jumped in full force the next day. And lo and behold, it worked!! 

We tweaked her ideas slightly in order to fit our family. This has created a ton less tension between all of us during mealtimes. I've let go of the guilt I used to feel when Adly refused to eat one bite. I've stopped getting mad at her whenever it happens. Essentially I've just let it all go. Because I know in the end she'll be ok.

Here are the eating rules we live and breathe these days. 

-Every meal offered contains a protein, dairy, fruit and a veggie (most days. I am admittedly terrible with vegetables). Sometimes a grain.

-Every meal contains at least one thing I know she loves. This allows Adly to feel like she has choices in what she eats on the plate. This also gives her the independence she was seeking during meal times. 

-In our house, she can have more of something (usually fruit) once she eats a few bites of the protien (usually what she doesn't eat).

-She doesn't have to eat it all, and when she is done, she's done. For Adly, she gives us her plate and says "all done" when she's done eating. There is no snacking after dinner. 

-Afternoon snacks have become lighter to help with dinner eating. 

-Dessert is unknown. We don't use it as leverage or even talk about it. Any time we have mentioned "dessert" she says yes to it and she is presented with applesauce or yogurt. They're sweet, right? 

-My biggest takeaway from this article? Six words. You don't have to eat it. 

I swear to you, since we instilled this plan into our mealtimes, not once has Adly refused her entire meal. Not once have I cried. Not even once have I gotten frustrated. (And this is coming from the most easily frustrated adult-toddler there is!) It was as though we saw the light. Seriously, that cheesy. I also believe that once my attitude got an adjustment, Adly picked up on it as well, and the battles ended. Toddlers are so much more intuitive than we give them credit for. 

That article saved our mealtimes. And as soon as it did, mealtimes became fun. A time to relax and talk and sit back and laugh. Or just relax. 

There are days where Adly doesn't eat hardly anything. And I'm ok with that. She lives with it and then eats like a monster at breakfast the next day. She is always fine. There are also times where Adly's sensitive stomach gets a bug and she has days of diarrhea. This is when we go back to the age-old BRAT (banana, rice, apples, toast) diet and our normal diet is completely out the window. So of course, this, like everything else when it comes to babies and toddlers and kids, takes flexibility. 

If you're stuck at home, crying in the corner of your kitchen because your kid threw yet another delicious meal on the floor, I suggest you read this article and/or try some of the ideas out! It saved our family, hopefully it will help yours too. 

"Adly silly. Take a picture mama!"