Looking Back

We're about to finish our third month over here and that my friends, means soon we will enter a magical time where everything those cranky newborns have put you through suddenly starts to make a whole lot more sense. Hallelujah! I've been doing a lot of reflecting and, I'll be honest, patting myself on the back for the fact that we made it. And to boot, we're all alive! I wanted to write some things down that I've learned in the last 12 weeks so that next time (yes...you know things are good when I've entered the delusional world of thinking about entering this lions den again) I can hopefully get through it without wanting to leave my baby behind as I peel off down the road, tires squealing and all. Don't judge. You know we've all felt like that.

-SWADDLING IS KEY. Sigh. When I think about swaddling, I want to punch myself in the face. Why??? Because I waited six long, arduous weeks to actually start doing it. Oh, I swaddled her body. But I was totally that neurotic mom. "I just can't bring myself to put her arms in. She's so cute! Look how she puts her arms above her head--just like me! She'll be so stifled if I put her arms in!!" Here's some advice: you will not ever sleep again until you swaddle the baby- arms and all. They startle themselves awake all night long and what that translates to you is: NO SLEEP. And no sleep makes people lose their minds. Can't figure out how the hell to swaddle them in a blanket? Have no fear! For us dummies they even make pre-made swaddles with Velcro! It'll save your swaddling sanity- and you'll feel like a true champ.

-BABIES CRY IN PUBLIC...SO WHAT. In the first few weeks I was beyond terrified of having Adly cry in any way in public. I think this is mainly because I was worried I'd look like a terrible mom or upset a random stranger for ruining their public experience. I have an obsession with putting a face on for everything in life. So that transferred over to new mommyhood. I wanted to seem like I could do this-I was SuperMom-it's no prob! And part of that was never letting her cry in public. I've even ran out of grocery stores half way through my shopping--just so I didn't have to endure the evil stares of strangers. Here's a reality check: babies cry and they cry whenever the hell they feel like it. What I've learned is that half the time, other people can't even hear the baby. You are much more aware of their cries than anyone else. So now, like a pro, I'm that mom that blissfully ignores her crying in public, assuring myself that anyone who is annoyed by her cries is just an asshole. That or they've never gone through this themselves...but someday they likely will and then I'll be sure to glare right back at them.

-TRY, TRY, AND TRY AGAIN. Those little bundles of chunk sure are finicky and oh so picky. At least mine is. I've learned that babies' tastes change on a weekly, if not daily basis. One day they may love something, the next they'll hate it. Yep...it's just another thing to add to your plate when you're beyond exhausted. Next time, I will try things out over and over again until they (hopefully) begin to like it. I'm talking bouncers, swings, play gyms...you name it. Anything that gives you 10 minutes to go shower, brush your teeth, and pee.

-TUMMY TIME IS KEY. Oh, tummy time. You hear about the importance of it everywhere, hospital classes, in the hospital, friends, family. Yet for me, for whatever reason, it has been really hard to incorporate. For one, Adly either hates it or she'll just lay there, attempting to suck her thumb. So for a long time, I stopped doing it. I feel so awful even typing that, I'm already looking over my shoulder for people to come at me with stones. Looking back, that was stupid. I feel like if I had been consistent from the start she would've grown to like it- or at the very least, expect it. Now we're still battling it out at three months in. The lesson learned is: people, protect your sanity in every way possible.

-NEWBORNS ARE JERKS. They just are. They suck the life out of you, taking everything and giving you hardly anything. They flip your life upside down. They don't let you sleep. They never, ever say thank you. And they always have to be with you...especially if you're breastfeeding. This is a big shock for those of us that are any bit selfish, like to sleep for 5+ hours straight, and enjoy alone time. There are days and moments where you'd love to stick a For Sale sign on them, hop in your car, and take off to a time when going to the bathroom didn't involve the panic over crying or a little ones safety. But that's ok. Everyone feels that way at some point or another during this time- most just don't admit it. And just when you've reached the brink of madness, when you're going to throw in the towel and give up, when you're on the last straw, they smile at you. I swear it's biology's way of making sure we all have the power to tough it out. Because that smile will make all of their jerkiness worthwhile. I promise.

-PUMP AT NIGHT. There's something about the exhaustion of this time that makes you just not think clearly. I can't tell you how many times I've dealt with something for a few weeks to only then have a glorious ah-hah! moment, smack myself on the head and say "of course that makes sense!" One of these moments was pumping at night. Around 8-9 weeks, a short while after I FINALLY started swaddling Adly's arms, she began sleeping through the whole night. I know. Can you believe it actually happens?!? You will sleep again. The only problem was, my boobs didn't get the memo. So for the next 2 weeks, I woke up every morning with boobies that rival Dolly Partons, a soaked shirt, soaked sheets, and a whole lot of pain. Getting ginormous boobs overnight is not as sexy as it sounds. It wasn't until I suddenly had that ah-hah! moment of "hey, what if I pump before I go to bed" that I stopped having those problems. And let's be honest...I wasn't that clear headed yet so I'm sure it wasn't my own idea to do so. Multiple people likely mentioned it before I decided to think it up as my own idea. You'll find that phenomenon happens a lot. 

The main thing I want to remember is that it gets better. There were times when I was sure I'd never sleep again, when I hated everything to do with being a parent, and when I just wanted to quit. But like I said, biology has a funny way of knowing when you've had enough and things change. They smile, they sleep, they become this little being that you just can't imagine life without. And you love...more than you ever imagined possible. Thanks for an incredible three months, Ms. Adly Daniele. You've made it worth every second of this roller coaster ride.