bottles & blunders: Comfort in Numbers

The funny thing about living in a big city is that life tends to happen at a slower pace. Daily life of course is much more fast paced than in a smaller city, but life changing events tend to happen later in life around here. What that means to me is that when I found myself engaged at 29, only a handful of my closest friends had been there, done that. Seven months later I was married and while we were still somewhat the odd men out, it was no big deal. It was really no different than dating or being engaged.

Then I was pregnant.

Suddenly, I was really the odd man out. I knew one friend in the suburbs who had just had a baby and then there was my friend Laura in the city who had just found out she was also pregnant. But beyond that, I was the only one in our crowd of friends from Chicago who was going through this life changing experience. While I didn't quite realize it at the time, it's a lonely time. Even just being pregnant immediately changes your lifestyle--if you're any bit social.

But being pregnant is one thing. Once the baby comes, you're really in a world of your own. And let me tell you, it can be a very scary world. Well, at least for someone who thrives on having control in their daily life.

Thankfully, Laura went through her pregnancy and birth only one month prior to me. Immediately following delivery and as I entered into the jungle that is parenthood, I can't tell you how many times I turned to Laura for guidance. It was comforting to know someone out there understood exactly what was happening with me and my baby on a daily basis. Even if neither of us knew the answer (which happened often), at least we knew we weren't totally crazy.

About 6 weeks into my journey as a mom, Laura set up a mommy/baby day at the park with two of her friends who had recently become mom's as well. We all met for the first time on a Wednesday and have been doing so regularly ever since. Over the last few months, our group has increased to even more mommies, all with babies the same age as mine. Our weekly playdates at the park have also grown to trying out music classes with the little ones, meeting for coffee, and countless group texts about baby poop, sleep, eating habits....you name it, we've texted about it.

I now find myself greatly looking forward to this time together, if nothing else because it provides a real sense of commradorie. Together we can commiserate over the hardships of having a newborn, be reassured that what's happening is perfectly normal, and mark new growths as they come. We talk about what's coming up next for the babies and celebrate their individual milestones together. It's short and sweet, usually only an hour or two based on how the babes have been sleeping, but it's just enough to help me walk away feeling great about all the craziness we're going through. The best part is, no one blinks an eye if your little one is screaming their head off, you have poop on your shirt, or you forgot a diaper or boob pads (there's always plenty to share!).

I am so grateful for the outlet this small group of mommy friends has given me. The hour or so a week we spend together gives us a free outlet to talk about the happenings of our little ones that others just wouldn't understand. It allows us to lament the struggles and be proud of the progress we all make, inch by inch. And together, for a small amount of time each week, we all find comfort in numbers.