Saying Goodbye

Throughout my pregnancy, I globbed on to a few different iPhone apps to help me track the days and to give me a little tidbit of what I should expect to see happening at any given time. They were quite helpful as I navigated my way through the unknown world of pregnancy.

The two main apps I used were: What to Expect and BabyCenter.

Both of these apps give a weekly update that details the growth baby is making and the changes mommy is experiencing. I've found them both to be helpful- hand in hand. One thing I've enjoyed in the What to Expect app is the forum section where you can find a number of different boards. The main one I've been checking in on is the July 2013 board. This is where all the other ladies on the app who are due this month can post. I'll admit, for the first 8 months, I used it just to be amused. There's a lot of young girls on there with what I would consider menial problems, some venting about relationships, annoying moms, bad boyfriends who cheat on them, etc.

But in the last month, it's gotten really exciting to read. This is because one by one, people in my due date month have been jumping ship and announcing their pregnancies. I couldn't believe how many women ended up having their babies in June. It's also been helpful to help me navigate the weird aches and pains that keep happening lately--since every other girl in my shoes is going through the same thing and wondering "is this it!?!?!".

One thing that has struck me as very interesting though, is the number of posts I've seen from women who gave birth early and unexpectedly....and didn't have a chance to mentally part with their pregnant bodies. A handful of them are having difficulty dealing with it. This was something I hadn't thought of, but when I do, it really is a big change. I mean, we spend 10 months cultivating a human being inside of our bodies. That human being causes countless numbers of changes to our bodies, creates a kind of love one could never know without even meeting something, and forges a bond that is indescribable just by the feeling of movement and outward growth. And then within a matter of hours, it's gone.

Yes, you get the reward of having your precious little one join you live and in person and that in itself is life's greatest gift. But there has to be something that is said for the mourning of the change your body goes through. I found myself thinking about this as I woke up this morning. Adly was gleefully kicking around in my stomach when it hit me that I won't be feeling that much longer. No more imagining her dancing moves, laughing when she kicks back at our touch, no more feeling her with me all the time.

Of course there's the benefit of change too. I think the women who go full term and beyond definitely have an easier time parting with their pregnant experience. You're large and in charge, uncomfortable all the time, nothing fits anymore and you're just plain ready to move on. That is where I am most definitely at right now. But at the same time, I can't help but think and wonder if I'll miss the days of watching her little foot kick out the left side of my belly....

Nah. No more belly? No more waddling? A soft, snuggly, cutie patootie in my arms at all times gurgling back at me? Yes please!!