body image

I was in line at the grocery the other day when a front page of the gossip rag caught my eye. "I'll Show You Fat!" was the headline and there was a picture of good ole Kim K in a swimsuit, 8 months pregnant. You know, that celebrity that's trying to take the pregnancy spotlight from me by having her baby be due when mine is.

I immediately picked it up and started looking at the pictures of her. I just couldn't help it. Of course, all I wanted to do was compare her body at 31 weeks to mine. It was then that I started to think just how sad our world is when it comes to pregnancy and weight gain. And I'm a part of it too, just by picking up this magazine and divulging.

We as women are brought up to scrutinize every pound we gain and do everything in our power to keep it off. Women spend thousands upon thousands of dollars a year to be thin and now we've reached the point where even pregnant women are no longer off limits. We're surrounded by celebrities who do bikini bathing suit photo shoots 6 weeks after birth, proclaiming "I hardly work out. I guess I just try to eat right. The weight just came off! It was so easy!" This is the standard that us normal girls are compared against. We without access to personal trainers, dietitians, plastic surgeons, nannies, and home gyms. It's really not just "so easy".

I think it's sad. I can't stand Kim K. any more than the rest of the world, but I also think it's pathetic to see how low we've gone when it comes to making her or anyone else feel like absolute garbage for any weight gain. A woman is supposed to gain weight while pregnant. It's not because she's fat. It's because the baby needs it. Shouldn't we care more about our baby's health than anything else??

Yet, I still find myself on the scale every morning, checking to see how much more I've gained. I've accepted the fact that I'm going to gain weight, most definitely. But the fact of the matter is, if you are an average woman in America it is still scary. I know I'm going to be expected to lose it once she's here. I know I'm going to feel pressure to fit into my old clothes again. Some of this pressure is internal, yet most of that is due to the outside factors of the world we live in. I know the standard I'm held against and so does almost every other woman in my situation.

One could argue that celebrities give up their right to personal space and judgement-free zones by being in the spotlight. They're paid to be scrutinized. True, to a point. I think the unfortunate side effect of this is that is has carried over into normal civilians being held to the same standard. Hey, if I had access to all of Heidi Klum's people, you better bet your ass I'd be rocking her body. How could you not?! If I had a personal chef to make me the healthiest, best tasting meals on a daily basis, I'd bounce back in no time. But the reality is, most of us do not have those options.

So instead of reading the article about how fat Kim K has gotten and how skinny Kate Middleton is at 8 months, I put it down and resigned myself to not worrying about it. I am who I am, and I will be who I will be when this ride is over.

But as long as I can see the floor, I still want to see that weight slowly creep up every morning.